Jump to content

Do I deserve the truth?


Elcielo84

Recommended Posts

I saw a bunch of text messages that lead me to believe that my gf cheated on me. I got enraged and felt so betrayed but she still swore nothing ever happened. I do not have any physical proof such as seeing them in the act but the texts would have made anyone believe something happened. To be brief the texts were along these lines "I had a really great time with you yesterday," His response "Last night was ummmm amazing." There were a bunch more texts later that day that were really messed up but will explain more detail if any can help me in this situation. All I want is the truth so I can clear my head. Because I feel so messed up right now.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I saw a bunch of text messages that lead me to believe that my gf cheated on me. I got enraged and felt so betrayed but she still swore nothing ever happened. I do not have any physical proof such as seeing them in the act but the texts would have made anyone believe something happened. To be brief the texts were along these lines "I had a really great time with you yesterday," His response "Last night was ummmm amazing." There were a bunch more texts later that day that were really messed up but will explain more detail if any can help me in this situation. All I want is the truth so I can clear my head. Because I feel so messed up right now.

 

You probably need to elaborate a bit more before people can give you advice as the two text messages above don't really tell us much.

 

On the surface it looks like two people saying they had a great time together the night before. What texts specifically indicate cheating?

 

Did you know where your girlfriend was that night? Did she stay out all night or most of the night?

 

Can you give an example of the messed up messages that came through later?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes more info would be useful. If nothing happened then did you ask her exactly WHAT DID happen that was SO AMAZING? What you need to do is trap her in a lie. Ask the same question 3 different ways. It will be hard for her to explain HIS texts but she should be able to explain hers. What are some of her other texts to this dude?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Yes I can elaborate more. The night before she had been acting real weird when I picked her up from work. (She is a bartender) and was really drunk when I picked her up and was in a really good mood for some reason. She never is in a good mood after making only $40 in tips. Well I took care of her that night and we went to sleep. The next day my phone was broken at the time of seeing these text messages and I used her phone to text my friend when I saw those two messages. Before I saw those messages me and her had a long talk and we had decided on a 40 day break. I clearly remember laying down the ground rules of what was acceptable and what not. We took this break because I was becoming physically/mentally exhausted and what not and needed to focus on school. But after I saw the "Amazing night" text I got suspicious because it was out of her character to even request a break in the first place. Later that evening I took her to work and I still had not said anything about seeing those messages from earlier. I still wanted to trust her... But I felt it that something was up because of remembering how she was acting from the previous night. So I started to snoop! Never done this before and when I did I saw a message he sent that went "Are you sure no one is going to get hurt," She replied "Yes no one says anything at (BAR NAME) anyways." Then the new convo between them started... texts that had her saying "Come Play," He stated he was hungover and said he felt like crap after "The Amazing Night." So she sent a very naughty pick of her ass in lingerie. Saying "I wanna play and you Better get here quick" Then he said "Looks like you and those panties need some freedom" she replied with "I just want to get to know you a little better" followed by him once again reconfirming that "are you sure no one will get hurt." "She responded "Yes and I have some good news that should ease your mind about everything but I will tell you when you get here." So "Come play." "Im waiting." At this point I am just watching them text back and forth. And things settled down and I was furious. I ended up sending her a message saying that she needed to find a place to stay that night. And sent one to "The Guy" letting him know our situation.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I also saved all of the messages and I hate that I did that because my gut wrenches every-time I see those but she is denying ever doing anything sexual, I think she said he had just held her or something and it had felt nice. But I think otherwise. My gut tells me that it was more than that. Also saw his car at the place the next morning where she was staying.

Link to post
Share on other sites
What are you looking for? She is obviously cheating. Sending those pics would be enough for me to end it.

 

Yeo agreed. It's more than obvious she is cheating the pictures and the invite is enough evidence.

 

It's time to bail out of this relationship. What she did was unacceptable. Tell her it's over and don't look back.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

All I want is for her to tell me what really happened. I need to know I am not dumb. She never once gave any indication that she has ever hid anything from me. She was brutally honest so I tried to take her word and we got back together. But she has been drinking way more and been getting physically violent with me. I think she is holding in the truth and it is killing her. And it is killing me as well. If she could just become honest with herself and say that they were sexually involved thats all I want. "Come play" does not sound like come hang out as friends. We all make mistakes and it is a 50/50 thing because I obviously was not satisfying her needs.

Link to post
Share on other sites

She's definitely about to cheat if she hasn't already. Sounds like your 40-day break may be permanent. I'm sorry. Maybe she took it as an actual breakup since most separations are breakups in disguise and then went full on for this guy.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I just need resolution. Or I may never be the same. It will be hard to trust someone ever again.

 

You already know all you need too about the situation. Your girlfriend sent a picture of her backside to another man then invited him to come and play. It's pretty obvious what happened. Knowing the intimate details will hurt you more than heal you.

 

Just put an end to the situation tell her you're done. She can claim that nothing happened but the photo and texts are enough to convince you something is going on regardless of what she says. Tell her you are out and she can see who she wants.

 

What she did wasn't an accident. She is choosing to cheat on you. Sending a picture of her backside is still cheating in my book. This girl has no respect for you or your feelings. Don't allow her to treat you so poorly. You deserve better but yet here you are making excuses about we all make mistakes etc. You are trying to excuse her behaviour but what she did was intentional. The fact that she is still denying it shows she doesn't respect you at all.

 

There is no excuse for her to send a picture of her backside to another man while she is in a relationship. Her intentions towards this guy are blindingly obvious to everyone but you. You seem completely desperate to hang on to this girl regardless of how she treats you.

 

Why are you so quick to tolerate and excuse her behaviour?

Link to post
Share on other sites
SoThatHappened

They were banging while you guys were still together. She was emotionally and physically cheating before you found out. Get that into your head and deal with it. Do not give her the benefit of the doubt, especially when you have "sexts" to prove it.

 

This is what you do:

 

- Bow out gracefully

 

- Get all the "housekeeping" stuff handled immediately. Return her stuff, and get yours back if you can; all while not being in the same room if possible.

 

- Do not respond to anything or contact her in anyway. She lost the right to have you in her life when she cheated.

 

- Mourn, but don't blame yourself. This is her doing. You're not less of a person than him. Not one bit.

 

- After enough time of no contact and when your head clears, you'll be grateful you bowed out with class and didn't beg, contact, negotiate, etc.

 

- Work on yourself, physically and mentally. When she sees a new and improved you months or years later, you'll have the last laugh on everything.

 

Good luck.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Does this chick even know you exist? Even if she DIDN'T cheat physically she is cheating by her texts. But dude no doubt in my mind she is having sex with this dude and probably has been for some time. You are being played my man by someone who has ZERO respect for you. I know you want to believe her but how can you based on this damming evidence?

 

Someone who I once knew that was married was busted by her husband over inappropriate texts. At first she denied everything. Then came the trickle truth. The husband started digging. It went from nothing happened to they held hands. After more digging then it went only as far as a kiss. After more digging then she confessed they had sex.

 

She doesn't deserve you. Dump her as quickly as you can and get out of that relationship. Let her disrespect and lie to someone else.

Link to post
Share on other sites

To answer your question, "Do I deserve the truth?"

 

Well it is tough to say what someone does or does not deserve. The world tends not to work like this. You get what you get and that is about it. It would be a nice thing to do for her to come clean but its not as though this is a legal argument where she will be prosecuted for lying. So she has no reason to be fully honest, no obligation really.

 

So the question of deserving, I can't answer. But the thing is you already have the truth. You clearly saw those text messages, no doubt some form of cheating is going on. I know it would be fulfilling to hear it from her and have her confess to it but I wouldn't hold my breath for that. You are not crazy, you found out she was cheating and it is time to dump this relationship and find a better one. Best of luck!

Link to post
Share on other sites

You already know enough 'truth'. You have all that you need.

 

Any answers to other questions you have, you probably won't get. And you'll just drive yourself mad over them.

 

You have the high ground here now. Don't let her flip it. Do exactly what SoThatHappened and then come back here to talk; it will be hard but people here can support you and help you through it.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Taking a break from the relationship is code for I want to hook up with someone else but keep you on the back burner.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I knew I can't be the only one. My girl had pictures and messages of the other guy in her phone as well. Pictures of her in her pyjamas,tshirt,chemise etc etc with the other guy,face together and you know stuff couples do. When she comes to my place she would block the guy on wechat and unblock it later so I can't see the messages. But just this one time the guy message her on whatapps at 2 am asking why she block him, and I got a glimpse of it through notifications although I do not have the password for her phone. Even after that when I asked her she claim it was nothing more then friends. And then my brain just told me "Oh come on, what will it take ? a picture of them screwing each other ?"

 

But if you want to be really sure, find a way to test her loyalty. That will give you the answer you are looking for. I got mine that way.

Edited by lostmyway82
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...