Regression after 3+ months

[2mehappiness]

My exbroke up with me 3.5 months ago and I was heartbroken. While I had built afuture with him in my own fantasy, he told me he couldn’t envision himself being with one person for the rest of his life (me). Needless to say, I took the break up really hard. I was also not happy with anything else in my life as Ifelt like I was behind in every aspect in terms of my career, relationship andmy personal relationship with my family.

 

 

I felt like I had literally hit rock bottom after my breakup and sought help through a counsellor. Desperate to get out of that dreadful state, I reflected hard and workedon myself. I returned back to school to pursue another degree, became more active, re-acquainted and made new friends and bonded with my family. I am very busy with school. There were a few pursuers and I rarely think about my ex. I am just happy and grateful for everything.

 

 

But as of last week…I have regressed and can’t stop thinking about my ex. I recentlywent out on a date and it was incredibly boring. It only made me miss him as we had great chemistry together. I am extremely stressed out at school, while trying to balance work. I am helping one of my close friend with her breakup,which is triggering a lot of memories for me. I cant help but question why heleft me and why he didn’t fight for me (I know he obviously didn’t care enough about me, yet I cant stop thinking about it). Also, his former co-worker just moved into my unit at work which is triggering a lot of memories as well.

 

 

I feel like I am regressing and I feel very discouraged and sad, knowing that I have been doing so well. Little things are now triggering me of him again. The worst thing is I only remember the happy times we had together. So how I do stop looking at things through this rose tinted glass? Are there any tips to help me through this regression stump?

 

 

Thanks

[Itspointless]

My exbroke up with me 3.5 months ago and I was heartbroken. [...] I felt like I had literally hit rock bottom after my breakup and sought help through a counsellor. Desperate to get out of that dreadful state, I reflected hard and workedon myself. I returned back to school to pursue another degree, became more active, re-acquainted and made new friends and bonded with my family. I am very busy with school. There were a few pursuers and I rarely think about my ex. [...] But as of last week…I have regressed and can’t stop thinking about my ex.

3.5 months isn't a long time when we speak about grieving and working on ourselves. It sounds like you made yourself as busy as possible, even as it has been with good things like going to a therapist. For deep reflection we also have to give ourselves times of inaction and silence. Setting positive steps for a future is a good thing, but there is more to grieving than drawing conclusions in our mind if you get what I mean. Continue working on yourself and give yourself time to griefs, skip those pursuers for a while

[jen1447]

Just bear in mind that it's a process and usually it doesn't go very fast or smooth. I say this a lot on here but 3 1/2 months is early so you shouldn't really expect to have moved on yet. It may be small comfort but just remember that it will get better in time. You'll be ok, just hang in there and take your lumps.