losangelena Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 (edited) I don't even know if this is the right board for this thread, but ... So my ex and I have been broken up for almost five months now. When we were together, we used my Netflix account on his TV. He never used it if I wasn't there, and we didn't even use it that much. When we broke up, I didn't think to log off before I left (who would?) and didn't think about it much at all except to assume that, because he never watched it without me anyway, that he'd just log off himself eventually or just ignore it. Well, last night, I was browsing around, looking for something to watch, and on the Netflix interface, some suggestions popped, "because you watched Making a Murderer." But I've never watched that show! I went into the viewing history, and sure enough, about two weeks ago, two episodes had been watched from his Apple TV. I was so mad! I haven't really felt much anger towards him post-break up, but I don't know, something about the fact that he thought it was OK to use his ex-GF's (who he broke up with, btw) Netflix account, as if I wouldn't find out, had me seeing RED. Get your own f***ing Netflix account, dude! I logged off all devices (didn't know you could do that) so he can't do it again, but ugh, the nerve of him! I find it so rude! What's worse is that he never really did anything like that when we were together. A part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt, like maybe a friend of his was over or something, but I dunno. Anyway, just venting! Edited January 30, 2016 by losangelena 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Stereotypical11 Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 One day he will realise they always do my ex fiancé left me had a baby with someone else and turned up at my house several months after on differentl occasions they always realises the grass isn't greener move on improve yourself, be the bigger person hard I know but one way or another you win you either get him back or realise you never really needed him anyway. I hope this helps. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RySant Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 I can't believe you just posted your hatred for your ex-BF for using your Netflix account. Link to post Share on other sites
Author losangelena Posted January 30, 2016 Author Share Posted January 30, 2016 I can't believe you just posted your hatred for your ex-BF for using your Netflix account. Oh, why? Can you elaborate a little? Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 This is great news. The anger phase is always such a relief, so much better than the mopey sad phase, bc you can do sth w/anger but you can't do anything w/sadness. (The 'anger phase' in your case just meaning that you're able to feel anger toward him and not just sappy regret.) You haven't seemed too deeply affected by your breakup losa, at least outwardly, but breakups affect everyone nonetheless so the phases, such as they are, are still significant. You're improving! 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Author losangelena Posted January 30, 2016 Author Share Posted January 30, 2016 This is great news. The anger phase is always such a relief, so much better than the mopey sad phase, bc you can do sth w/anger but you can't do anything w/sadness. (The 'anger phase' in your case just meaning that you're able to feel anger toward him and not just sappy regret.) You haven't seemed too deeply affected by your breakup losa, at least outwardly, but breakups affect everyone nonetheless so the phases, such as they are, are still significant. You're improving! Thank you, Jen! It is nice to finally feel something toward him that's not regret or sadness. Anger in this case = power and energy. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 Thank you, Jen! It is nice to finally feel something toward him that's not regret or sadness. Anger in this case = power and energy. Plus it's actionable - like in this case you logged off the devices and got a little reward fix for doing sth about the situation. When you're sad all you do is sit around and sniffle and nothing ever changes. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
RySant Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 Oh, why? Can you elaborate a little? Oh. I apologize. I never thought this has a deeper issue, and just took the post at it's face value. I thought you are just venting over silly stuff haha Anyway, congrats on the anger phase. One step towards the moving on phase! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author losangelena Posted January 30, 2016 Author Share Posted January 30, 2016 Oh. I apologize. I never thought this has a deeper issue, and just took the post at it's face value. I thought you are just venting over silly stuff haha Anyway, congrats on the anger phase. One step towards the moving on phase! Thanks! I admit, it is kind of silly, the Netflix thing, but it did trigger something inside me that I hadn't really been feeling until now. I'm the first to say that it sounds petty on the surface! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 Means more for what it symbolizes than the actual thing. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 These accounts can cause so much trouble. A close friend of mine had her ex boyfriend do the following: 1) Delete her Instagram account, destroying a lifetime of pics and several thousand followers 2) Deleted her snapchat 3) Posted non stop on Facebook about her with bad pics, tagging her 4) The biggest of all... he would go on her Spotify when she was listening and randomly change the song on her... for hours, on long drives, all the time. And music is basically her life. 5) Yeah, he used her Netflix too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author losangelena Posted January 30, 2016 Author Share Posted January 30, 2016 These accounts can cause so much trouble. A close friend of mine had her ex boyfriend do the following: 1) Delete her Instagram account, destroying a lifetime of pics and several thousand followers 2) Deleted her snapchat 3) Posted non stop on Facebook about her with bad pics, tagging her 4) The biggest of all... he would go on her Spotify when she was listening and randomly change the song on her... for hours, on long drives, all the time. And music is basically her life. 5) Yeah, he used her Netflix too. Oye, that sounds like a headache. Luckily, this is the only shared account we had, and when I say "shared," I mean the only thing the other had direct access to (not split cost). I'm fairly certain that for how rude it was, my ex didn't use it with malicious intent. Still annoying, though. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 Anger is good. Its like that stuff you put in the washing machine to clean the pipes 5 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 Thanks! I admit, it is kind of silly, the Netflix thing, but it did trigger something inside me that I hadn't really been feeling until now. I'm the first to say that it sounds petty on the surface! There's something to this. When my husband and I separated, he had done lots of stuff that really deserved my rage at the time. But I was just more hurt than anything. Anger took quite awhile to develop. He had this habit of stuffing his used Kleenex in the door handle of the passenger side of the car instead of throwing it out. I HATED that. So one day, maybe a month into separating, I fully cleaned out the car, and found them in the door handle. I saw red. I was SO enraged. I wanted to phone / text him and just shout every single thing I had thought of for months at him. Sure, lie, cheat, drink, disappear, take money out of the joint account screwing me over on rent, get into my medication BUT DONT YOU DARE LEAVE KLEENEX IN THE PASSENGER DOOR HANDLE OF THE CAR. I WILL MESS YOU UP! Luckily, I don't have to deal with any of these issues anymore. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author losangelena Posted January 30, 2016 Author Share Posted January 30, 2016 Sure, lie, cheat, drink, disappear, take money out of the joint account screwing me over on rent, get into my medication BUT DONT YOU DARE LEAVE KLEENEX IN THE PASSENGER DOOR HANDLE OF THE CAR. I WILL MESS YOU UP! Luckily, I don't have to deal with any of these issues anymore. HAHA! This is about the best thing I've heard all day, lol! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 In all fairness though, the Kleenex thing is pretty gross. And the Netflix thing is low, its so cheap, he could just get his own. Link to post Share on other sites
Author losangelena Posted January 30, 2016 Author Share Posted January 30, 2016 In all fairness though, the Kleenex thing is pretty gross. And the Netflix thing is low, its so cheap, he could just get his own. Yes, the Kleenex thing is definitely gross. My brother has the same habit of leaving his places. And the Netflix thing—this was after he SWORE up and down that he'd never get an account because there was never anything good on it. Guess he'll have to get his own now ... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted January 31, 2016 Share Posted January 31, 2016 Thanks! I admit, it is kind of silly, the Netflix thing, but it did trigger something inside me that I hadn't really been feeling until now. I'm the first to say that it sounds petty on the surface! ^^That's the key. The fact that he used your Netflix account represents something. Maybe that he has a general lack of respect for you. I think that after we breakup, we tend to remember our exes as they were, how they treated us in the past, but we think that it's in real time. Because we only have our past experiences to draw upon, it can be difficult to see the reality of the present. It took me many months to feel true anger towards my ex because I was living in the past. I was remembering how he had treated me when we were together. Once I learned that he had been with another woman for quite some time, I was so mad. I learned that he had still been communicating with me and feeding me BS about getting back together while dating someone else. That set me off, and I finally realized that he really and truly was capable of being an arse. My example is a lot more extreme, but I think it's the same idea. Just the realization that your ex is out there, doing stuff like that. You kinda wonder what happened to the person you dated. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 31, 2016 Share Posted January 31, 2016 ^^That's the key. The fact that he used your Netflix account represents something. Maybe that he has a general lack of respect for you. I think that after we breakup, we tend to remember our exes as they were, how they treated us in the past, but we think that it's in real time. Because we only have our past experiences to draw upon, it can be difficult to see the reality of the present. It took me many months to feel true anger towards my ex because I was living in the past. I was remembering how he had treated me when we were together. Once I learned that he had been with another woman for quite some time, I was so mad. I learned that he had still been communicating with me and feeding me BS about getting back together while dating someone else. That set me off, and I finally realized that he really and truly was capable of being an arse. My example is a lot more extreme, but I think it's the same idea. Just the realization that your ex is out there, doing stuff like that. You kinda wonder what happened to the person you dated. I know with my husband, the behaviours I listed showed me that HE was really really screwed-up. But the Kleenex, that was RUDE. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kilgoretrout Posted January 31, 2016 Share Posted January 31, 2016 Thanks! I admit, it is kind of silly, the Netflix thing, but it did trigger something inside me that I hadn't really been feeling until now. I'm the first to say that it sounds petty on the surface! It sounds petty but isn't. Often it's something small that triggers, like you said, the feelings that need to come to the surface that were maybe to hard to deal with directly 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted January 31, 2016 Share Posted January 31, 2016 This is somehow even more infuriating because he didn't use it very often in the first place. It's not like he was constantly or even occasionally watching Netflix and just forgot he was still on your account. More than five months have passed, he's sitting around wanting to watch a show, and remembers...hey, I bet I can still use my ex's account! What a d-ckjack. I would have stayed logged in and started binge-watching those trashy I.D. true crime shows, so the next time he visited he could see I gave five stars to "Wives with Knives". 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author losangelena Posted January 31, 2016 Author Share Posted January 31, 2016 (edited) This is somehow even more infuriating because he didn't use it very often in the first place. It's not like he was constantly or even occasionally watching Netflix and just forgot he was still on your account. More than five months have passed, he's sitting around wanting to watch a show, and remembers...hey, I bet I can still use my ex's account! What a d-ckjack. I would have stayed logged in and started binge-watching those trashy I.D. true crime shows, so the next time he visited he could see I gave five stars to "Wives with Knives". Haha! Yeah, that's what my roommate suggested too, but I'd already logged him out, so can't unfortunately. That's why I thought maybe a friend of his was over or something, 'cause it is five months later, so why fire it up now? I have this fantasy that maybe he had a girl over and she wanted to watch it, and now, the next time he tries to get in there, he won't be able to—well, that'll be an awkward conversation for him, lol. Anyway, whatever it's done and he's about five rungs lower in my estimation. Edited January 31, 2016 by losangelena 3 Link to post Share on other sites
K2z Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Anger is not a welcome emotion for me, but under the circumstances it beats the hell out of the previous emotions. I'm finally not a doormat anymore, and if I were to encounter the ex again -- which will never happen again in life, barring a terrible coincidence-- I would give her a rather spicy piece of my mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Interesting. To me anger is always the initial emotion, sadness comes towards the end. Feeling down is bad but I know it means I'm accepting and moving on Link to post Share on other sites
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