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How to start picturing your future without your ex?


amberjadej

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I've accepted we're broken up and I'm still really sad but am realizing that long term we didn't want the same things in terms of kids, marriage and religion.

We broke up because he feels like he's not in a good place to be in a relationship right now and I'll admit that he's going to have a really crazy next two years.

 

But I'm really struggling to picture my future with a man that isn't him...

and it breaks my heart to picture it.

 

Is there anything I can do to make this feeling easier?

 

We broke up for a week or so back in October for the same reasons and after a few days, this nice guy asked me out to a wine tasting and I agreed (I was determined to get over my ex as quickly as possible, plus this guy seemed like a good match). We went out and it was ok, not bad but I had this moment when I looked to my left to make a comment about a wine and out of habit or something, I expected to see my ex standing there and it was the other guy (obviously). My heart sank. I'm trying to avoid this because seriously, the only way I ever truly get over someone is to find someone new.

 

Knowing another man is going to replace him is really upsetting.

Edited by amberjadej
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Scarlett.O'hara

If you are struggling with the thought of being with another man, perhaps you should stop thinking about that right now and just focus on your own future for now.

 

Think about personal goals and things you would like to experience over the coming year. It could be exploring a new hobby, planning a vacation somewhere you always wanted to go, spending more time with family and friends, or creating new ones. You could also consider focusing on a professional goal.

 

If you aren't ready to date, don't force yourself. When the timing is right you will know. For now, be selfish and focus on your own happiness with something that is meaningful to you.

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Stereotypical11

I've been though the same thing with my ex fiancé, even watched him have a baby with someone else. Years later and after him turning up at my house several times you realise you never stop loving them but you just have to better yourself it's hard focus on your life and those things will find you, I'm still single but I have an amazing job and I'm building my life on the other side the grass wasn't greener for him, he regretted leaving me a lot he took the wrong path and is now is prison.

Our life's are mapped out we just follow the paths to get there.

I hope this helps.

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