Pharoh Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 After a breakup it can be near impossible to avoid thinking about your ex and the relationship. It can really cause a lingering sadness that follows you around. For me, my ex girlfriend left me about a year ago now. It was a serious relationship and I loved that girl so much that I still find it hard not to be reminded of her even now. We went to the same college so everything about school reminds me of her. Rides and rollercoasters remind me of our trips to amusement parks together. Politics and sights on the news bring back memories of our Washington DC weekend visit. Don't get me started on all the songs that somehow still find their way on the radio this far past. Not to mention all the little things you see throughout the day that constantly bring the mind back to her every single day. It makes things so much harder. I figured this is a common and important thing that everyone goes through after a tough breakup. So I thought we could get a discussion going on how everyone copes with this? How do you make it better and get stronger? I sure could use the advice. Link to post Share on other sites
ExtraSpice Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 My ex was heavily involved in my daily routine. And that is fun when you are together but makes life very difficult after the break up. There are too many triggers that remind you of your ex. At times the trigger is not even an activity but just the fact that I feel happy. If I am having fun and feeling happy, I get reminded of my ex because I felt happy with her. It really does drag you down. How to cope with it? I think the answer is easy in theory but very difficult in practice. Time helps, trying new things help, continuing on with your life helps. But even though all these things help, it won't take away the pain or the sadness. Not immediately at least. All these are like little steps that eventually help you move on. No matter what you do, you will hurt, you will cry and you will miss them. It is near impossible to avoid that and recognizing that is very important. What scares me is not that this feeling will last forever because I know nothing lasts forever. What is really scary is that it will take months of constant trying and constant effort with sad and difficult moments before I reach a peaceful point. Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 What scares me is not that this feeling will last forever because I know nothing lasts forever. What is really scary is that it will take months of constant trying and constant effort with sad and difficult moments before I reach a peaceful point. As scary as that may sound, you'll eventually get to a point where you have to "try" to think about your ex for more than a few seconds. As much as you miss them, pine for them, and hurt... you may actually get used to that feeling for some time while getting over them. And then, the weirdest thing, you'll be thinking about other things, and your ex will pop up in your mind, and you may actually have to "try" to think about the ex instead of it dominating your conscious mind. Then, you have to let go of being hurt. That's another weird one, but light years ahead of hurting nonstop. You'll get there. Link to post Share on other sites
ExtraSpice Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 As scary as that may sound, you'll eventually get to a point where you have to "try" to think about your ex for more than a few seconds. As much as you miss them, pine for them, and hurt... you may actually get used to that feeling for some time while getting over them. And then, the weirdest thing, you'll be thinking about other things, and your ex will pop up in your mind, and you may actually have to "try" to think about the ex instead of it dominating your conscious mind. Then, you have to let go of being hurt. That's another weird one, but light years ahead of hurting nonstop. You'll get there. Very true. Slowly the thoughts will fade and I will miss them less and less. Just a matter of time. Thank you for the kind words! Link to post Share on other sites
Nilfiry Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Until you get over it, I recommend putting your attention into doing something constructive as a distraction. Time flies by quickly when you are busy. Link to post Share on other sites
brothers343 Posted January 15, 2016 Share Posted January 15, 2016 Thats life in general my friend. Even the people that I didn't like sometimes pop into my head. For me I have to choose my battles. I rather have the memories you have than the ones of war. Its a process and in time those memories will become less than what you fear and life will go on. And what do you know.....in time other memories will take the place of the ones you have now. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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