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Dealing with Triggers


glamtran

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All, I've learned over this last while is that one of the biggest parts of healing is dealing with triggers that remind you of the ex. You can't become a hermit. Even if all you do all day is watch tv in your living room you might have reminders from certain commercials or shows or even actors.

 

How do you deal with them? Sometimes they are getting to me still. Maybe it's the holidays.

 

Is it wrong to avoid certain people from the same circles if need be? Mutual friends, people from the same communities or clubs, events, even family? Or is that too extreme?

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Michelle ma Belle

If there is anything I've learned through personal experience and years of therapy is that triggers are inevitable and part of the healing process. The key is to NOT avoid them. The more you avoid dealing with the pain and hurt the longer you prolong the healing process.

 

There is no easy way out of it unfortunately, (unless you're a heartless soulless dead fish). The only way to get over it is to go through it.

 

:)

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SoThatHappened

Triggers... ah, those messed up moth3r****3rs...

 

I hate the song "Royals" by Lorde because the contractors on the site I was inspecting were blasting it all the time, right after my ex cheated on me and told me she liked that song.

 

(side note: why rough and rugged guys were listening to that horrible song, I have no idea. It was the universe effing me over.)

 

Anyway, for months when I'd hear that song I'd do anything to avoid it. It was a trigger.

 

However, after a year and a half of healing, I heard that worthless, stupid song while taking clients out to lunch yesterday.

 

Guess what? It triggered the memory, I thought about her, and moved on with the conversation. Don't even remember it ending as I was conversing with others.

 

Moral: Time will get you past it and (as beautiful Michelle said), the key is "NOT to avoid them."

 

Let them in, let them hurt you. The trigger becomes familiar.

 

Keep movin'

Edited by SoThatHappened
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Triggers, god how I hate them. So many things trigger me, obviously it's only been like a month almost. Today is my birthday, that was a big trigger in itself. I guess we will become numb to the triggers after a while, after facing them more and more. It's horrible though. You don't realize how much love can hurt until something like this happens to you.

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Ok so some triggers such as songs may be inevitable sure. But isn't it dangerous or a time bomb to walk into something that can be avoided? Such as an event or party or conference you know he or she will be at for sure, perhaps with someone else? When you know you aren't over it? That would make me physically sick and skipping out sometimes seems more logical.

 

Also, doesn't breaking NC cause a trigger and why it is discouraged on this site?

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Yes sure/ If you need a break from certain things to heal, just take it.

But dont isolate yourself!

 

Because more then ever you need freinds and activity's to help you get over it faster.

And get your single life back.

 

Just be with the closest freinds. Beside a real freind will understand and may even plan new places for you guys to go so you dont have to be at old places all times/.

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