isthmus Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Hi everyone, Like a lot of you, I'm going through a tough breakup and looking for inspiration/help. I've noticed that sometimes I read a quote, or a helpful post with words of wisdom, or a thought pops into my head that helps me, just briefly, pull through a bad day, or even the hour. I find that they can often stop me from spiralling down into a hopeless mess (though not always!). Anyway, I know that after awhile the 'power' of these quotes or thoughts tends to diminish as I become more 'immune' to them, so I'm looking for new inspiration. And I thought if we collated these, they might help someone else out there struggling to get through a particularly bad moment. Some of the things that have (temporarily) helped me are: 1. Thinking about the songs, places, or anything that used to bring back painful memories when going through a PREVIOUS breakup, and realising that when I see or hear these things now, I feel completely indifferent. Knowing that I have got through difficult break ups before, I know I am strong enough to get through this one, I only have to give it time. 2. I read through messages of fights that we had (we were LDR so there were a lot!). Reading through them and realising how exhausting all the fighting was, all the back and forth, stops me from having too rosy coloured lenses and missing just the good parts. It makes me remember why we didn't work. 3. "If it is right and 'meant to be', it will still be right 6 months from now". Something to help me calm down and let it go for now, especially in those moments of anxiety when I desperately want him back. 4. "On particularly tough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100%". 5. "Be brave enough to hold onto the hope that life will be beautiful again" So... what has helped you through the tough days? Have you read something that has really hit home for you and changed your perspective, if only briefly, or do you do any little activity to distract yourself or change your spiralling negative mindset? Looking for something more specific than "Go NC" or "spend time with friends" or "do some exercise"....... let's all help each other 4 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 This too shall pass. It's a lesson I learned in college while participating in a 48 hour dance marathon. My emotions & energy levels ran the gamut but I realized that when I was at my lowest & in pain & wanting to quit & hallucinating, if I powered through that on the other side would be an energy burst, happiness & a sense of accomplishment. I just had to keep going. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Exercise really was the only thing that offered any temporary relief in my worst times. (Oh, and getting out on the open road - whether chasing sth or running away I'm not sure but the movement was good.) I like your #4 btw. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 ~ in three words i can sum up everything i've learned about life = it goes on. ~ Robert Frost. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
itisdanielle Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Trust the timing of your life. 'My heart is at ease knowing that what is meant for me will never miss me and that what misses me was never meant for me.' 2 Link to post Share on other sites
foam12 Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 C'est la vie 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justsounsure Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 3. "If it is right and 'meant to be', it will still be right 6 months from now". Something to help me calm down and let it go for now, especially in those moments of anxiety when I desperately want him back. I love this. But kind of also hate it. I'm scared that 6 months, or a year from now, I will still feel like I should be with her. And if I'm not, what do I tell myself then? It still just doesn't feel right that we are not together. I have no idea when that feeling will go away. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 “Every time you change something unique about yourself in order to be just like someone else, a piece of the best part of you dies.” ― Zero Dean I have always tried to stay away from conformity. It makes people feel empty. G 6 Link to post Share on other sites
BelleSkye Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 When things are going well, work even harder..... This helped me with studies, not so much with relationships Link to post Share on other sites
parishes Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 My ex left me for someone else. It's been 3 months strict NC. The pain has lessen tremendously but it's still there. “To get over the past, you first have to accept that the past is over. No matter how many times you revisit it, analyze it, regret it, or sweat it…it’s over. It can hurt you no more.” 5 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Somewhere there is someone who dreams of your smile, Who finds that in your presence life is worthwhile, So when you are lonely, remember it's true, Somebody, somewhere is thinking of you. Little poem I always recite to myself when I'm feeling down. I can't remember where it came from, but it's kept me going for 30yrs! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 My dad's advice was the best ever too. "Worry about only what you can change." 4 Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 It will get better! I guess that ties in to your thoughts in #4 and #5. On a different note, why do you still have old messages to re-read??? It sounds as if you're doing a bit of wallowing. Delete all those messages you've saved. Toss out her gifts, mementos, etc. That's the very first step in letting go, healing and moving forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
itisdanielle Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I saw this online yesterday and liked it: 'This is where your storyline ends and mine begins. This is the part where you lose the leading role because I got it together. This is where you stop being the star of the show. I don't know how you managed to have me crying in bathroom stalls in the dark or on my friends shoulder because you left. There won't be a drunken phone call, or a text at 3am asking if you miss me. Because your character is being written out of my story. Do you understand me? It's not you anymore. You're not the leading figure. You're not the happy ending. The only happy ending is me sitting on top of the world and not looking back. You're the past, the first page, and introduction, a small part in the story of how I got here and then you're the paragraph that's forgotten about. You're not the main character anymore. That spot is reserved for me.' Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Embrace the past for what it was, a chapter in your life for which there are many. On to the next one. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Mine is to yell out : "PLot Twist! " And then go with it. Lets face it, sometimes you just gotta laugh at the situation and tell yourself, yup I sure as heck didn't write up this ending, so might as well see where it lands me. Ride the wave. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xera Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 My dad's advice was the best ever too. "Worry about only what you can change." I like this one. Most of the time i would like to think that it was my fault that we broke up. Maybe it is.. But then, a relationship is always two ways; not one way. Not just me... But both of us working for our togetherness. I like to imagine that jesus is kneeling in front of me and i am his child. He wipes my tears and he says to trust him and love him more; because there's someone or something behind him that is far greater than my mind can ever imagine. It is a wonderful gift that i would like to trust and wait for. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xera Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 (edited) Oh and i like to see other peoples happy videoes through snap chat. I follow celebrities and i want to be inspired to look like im having the best days of my life. I have to pick myself up, i want to be brand new! Just like this dog who works hard to keep himself company and happy! https://www.facebook.com/X963FM/videos/10152156261662599/ Edited November 11, 2015 by xera Link to post Share on other sites
LadyM Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Rejection is God's protection. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Skullheart Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Sometimes I find myself hating my life and I just want it to end but when that mood starts to drown out I start to think about this one quote "Now it's the moment that everything can change You are completely responsible for your own life And no one it's coming to save you from yourself So stop blaming your problems on any or everything else It does not matter one tiny ****ing bit How unfair you think the world is, it's only what you do Right here, right now Right this ****ing instant that matters It's your choice to sink or swim." It's a brutal truth and a hard pill to swallow but it is true. These days are like torture and I'll fall into a huge depression but I'll realize that I can't let this get to the best of me, I need to move forward and give myself a better life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Friggia Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 I used a quote in another response that also happens to be applicable here, so I'll post it again: "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change." - - Charles Darwin Change is constant, so naturally you should be prepared for it. And this is loosely attributed to the Dalai Lama (I think), but both the good and the bad of life are temporary. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HeavyHeart15 Posted November 15, 2015 Share Posted November 15, 2015 My favourite: Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jmw1727 Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 (edited) I do not even like this type of music, but I heard my roommate playing this in his room and now it is stuck with me, in a good way. Such an emotional and inspiring song to me. Just one line from the song that has stuck with me: "...don't let hope become a memory, when you think all is forsaken, listen to me now, you need never to feel broken again, sometimes darkness can show you the light" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lupDjeumqvU Edited November 18, 2015 by jmw1727 added something Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 When you get tired of being miserable, you'll stop being miserable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jphcbpa Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 It is happening FOR you, not TO you. It is all falling together, not falling apart 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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