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No Contact Support Thread [Post here instead of contacting your ex]


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

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Old 30th November 2015, 9:29 AM   #46
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Dear Ex,

You've just emailed me again, and no, I'm not emailing you back!
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Old 1st December 2015, 2:47 AM   #47
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Hi Dear,

It's been three long days since you told me that you are now involved with someone else. Back in June when you decided to move out and took the break from our 17 years relationship, you told me you wanted to leave to find yourself and you didn't love me anymore. Although being so hurt, I had been supportive of you, hoping you would be able to sort issues out and work on our relationship problems. I never expected you actually found yourself in someone else's arms so quickly. The fact that you said you didn't expect it either hurts more as that's clearly a lie. It wouldn't have happened if you didn't make eye contact and it wouldn't have happened if you didn't have her contact details. It wouldn't have happened if you didn't take the step to visit her.

That is my bottom line.

I was able to remain friends because I believed you. How silly was I. I can not be your friend and no I won't apologize for it. We have a child together and I can avoid contact, but from now on, I will not tell you how my day has been. I will not tell you what I have for lunch. I will not tell you I'm wearing your favourite dress today. I will not tell you your voice still makes me skip a heartbeat after 17 years. I will not tell you I long for your cuddles. I will not tell you I miss your smell. I will not tell you thinking of your kisses makes me weak. I will not tell you that I'm as much in love with you as when I first saw you.

We were best friends for the last 17 years and as a matter of fact, I was your only friend. I thought my love for you would have been good enough as you had always said that no one in this world truly loved you except me, your family included. I had always been there when you had your ups and when you had your downs. Our relationship and our little family had meant so much to me.

You write it off like it was a piece of crap.

I know I'm better without you. I know one day I will get over you. I know one day I will be indifferent of you. I just don't know when.

And right now, I miss you so much and I'm so jealous of your new love. My heart aches so much that I almost can't breath. I really need you by my side, hold me and comfort me, telling me how much you've missed me and how much you love me. Please come back.
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Old 1st December 2015, 12:35 PM   #48
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I was in a pretty crappy mood yesterday, training was sh*t. Started to cheer up on the way home chatting with friends, we popped into the local shop, walked out and I was faced with your car right in front of me. Just what I needed, these coincidences are getting ridiculous.

Its alright as when I got home, I phoned up the girl I'm seeing and cheered up and completely forgot about you.

Oh it was your birthday yesterday, I don't really care tbh.
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Old 1st December 2015, 9:21 PM   #49
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3 months a go you broke up with me and kicked me out, you put me through hell throughout, I came back and against the better side of myself that told me it would happen again, and I would be heartbroken again, I trusted you, I've been scared to death of you and your irrational mind, I haven't been able to open up, I've had to stay quiet and keep myself to myself just to please you because when I open up, you retaliate with hate.

Your son is the hardest piece of work I've ever come across, he clearly has problems, he defies you and you have no control over him, your stressed and your lacking sleep, but you haven't done anything to help the situation, instead you'll take it out on me and in some cases, even blame me for it, but he has always been this way since I have known you, I pointed out way back then the signs of ADHD and the importance of getting on top of it early on but you ignored me and now you have a very difficult child on your back who you struggle to even get dressed, shower etc, I can't take blame for that, neither can he, its your responsibility to make these things happen, I can only keep my mouth shut and keep my nose out of it like you told me to.

I can't be blamed for the stresses of your life, not when I have been caught between you and your exes more times than I would like to remember, I walked in to an extremely difficult and messed up situation which has only improved in this last month or 2, considering we have been together since August of last year, you have to recognise that its a long time for your partner to be stressed out like this.

Things have been very difficult since I have come back, I have been on edge watching my every step feeling like just one step out of line could mean its over again and I'm out on my ass again, this feeling of anxiety has made me a nervous wreck, and it was all for nothing anyway because all it took was one argument for you to kick me out, one argument over me being bed ridden with the flu, you allowed 3 kids to run around the house screaming and shouting, kids are kids but when someone is bed ridden with the flu its very unfair to allow that to happen.

I went off to the supermarket half dead because there was no medicine in the house, I felt dead and when I come back I find you have bolted the door and contacted my mum and step dad telling them I am going to be staying there tonight and refused to let me in, even though my mum and step dad weren't at home and I had nowhere to go, I feel distraught thinking of that because its such a cruel thing to do to someone who is so sick especially when its bitterly cold, icy wind and raining outside, anybody would think you was Assad's wife.

Starting tomorrow I have to start couch surfing until I get my own place again, and that's really a horrible thing of you to do to me but here's what I don't understand not that I understand this situation anyway (your ****ing nuts!) You want to live apart but remain together, what!?, are you joking? You can't be serious? Surely?.

Why would I want you after this? Who would want you after this? Who could trust you after this let alone retain feelings of affection for you after this?, you claim I'm the problem and yes I can accept responsibility for problems I gave made as I always have, now what about you? Where's your admittance to the problems you've caused? Where's your remorse?, you haven't tried, I've barely even seen you the rate at which you stay at family member's, when your child is back from his dads, he requires all your attention, I feel that effort for any real quality time together hasn't been there, that was need you haven't met, I haven't seen an effort from you, not even a minimal effort, its like you just don't care.

Despite all of this I have tried and despite wanting to speak out I have kept it to myself, I just can't do that anymore, its a shame, really, if you could just relax, stop picking at everything I do and over thinking everything, we could be happy and find ways to move on, despite everything from 3 months back, I put it behind me and moved on, you haven't done that, and if you want to live in a state of bitterness then do that but I won't be around to hear about it and after being hurt and messed around like this, I won't be here regardless, I've told you to fight or you'll lose me for good, you have ignored me since and left me to feel upset with no outlet, this tells me you don't care, and though I am not an entitled person I at least have to say I don't deserve this poor treatment.

Please, leave me alone after this, let me repair myself and move on in peace, its the very least you could do for me, nothing.
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Old 4th December 2015, 9:33 PM   #50
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Dear you

I miss you terribly. I think about you every single day. I will never forget about you. I've broken nearly all of the promises I've made to you, but what still remains true is the fact that I will love you forever and that I will never forget about you. You will always be in my thoughts and on my mind. I sincerely wish that you get over me one day, I sincerely wish that you get your life on track. I want you to do well at university, I want you to achieve the career that you desire. I want you to find happiness. I hope one day you find a man who deserves you and who fulfils your needs. I hope one day you stop feeling empty, sad, miserable, anxious, tentative and demotivated. I just love you so much, I hope you'll be strong and not contact me again. Move forward with your life. I never knew what to say to you, you deserve so much more than what I provided for you. I miss you very much. I miss your beautiful face and your wonderful smile. I miss talking to you and sitting down with you. You made me so happy, happier than I have ever felt in my life. I'm sorry for everything, I hope you're alright. I will always love you.
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Old 5th December 2015, 10:30 AM   #51
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I really miss the old post here instead of contacting your ex thread, more people seemed to post on that one, hopefully this thread will get on a roll at some point.

I'm finding it hard to stick with any kind of decision I'm trying to make at the moment, I haven't contacted you since I left on Thursday, that's not exactly very easy, the last thing I said to you before I left was "don't expect anything between us anymore", that to me was my way of ending things, that's the first time I've ever done that, so what does that mean?, was it in retaliation for being kicked out again?, was it out of feeling hurt?, or did I really mean that?, I just can't figure myself out.

I don't intend on contacting you, even if I feel low and want you to take that away, I don't even really know if I want you, I don't know if it could work after living together for so long to live apart yet remain together, I don't think it should have ever come to that, which tells me whatever we have at least on your part isn't strong enough to last the long haul.

Last time I found myself back in my old bedroom when you broke up with me and kicked me out, I fought for you, I was desperate, I was crying, shaking, trying to reach out for another shot at what we had, this time I just feel deflated and I don't have the energy left to fight anymore, mostly because I don't know what or who I'm even fighting for, I don't even feel like I love you anymore.

I can honestly say I didn't put a foot wrong these last 3 months, I just had that feeling you was picking at me to find any excuse to send me packing again, yet I was still doing everything for you and your kid, trying to do right by the two of you despite you not even trying to do right by me, you are a self entitled person, it's really obnoxious, you make a problem out of everything and demand your own way over everything, I wasn't even allowed to store my bike when I left because you made a problem out of everything, in fairness you didn't give me any time to prepare, you didn't think or care about anything like that.

I don't know what to do anymore, at the moment I'm not really sure I know what I can do, I feel dizzy and out of it, partially because of stress and partially because I'm still trying to get over the flu, you've really run me in to the ground these past few months, I really don't want to go back to that, you've been horrible and it's all been unprovoked, I've never walked away from anyone before so I don't really know how to go about anything.

All I can think of for now is to concentrate on my health and focus on starting over again by myself, which means you being out of the picture once and for all, I have deserved a whole lot more than I've been given since knowing you, I've been shat on an awful lot, I've freed myself from the shackles of your authority, I need to remember that and to keep going forward.
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Old 5th December 2015, 10:59 AM   #52
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I got confirmation you were looking for me this week online.

It was confusing.

Still not looking for you. Still not going to contact you in any fashion.

My head is full of what ifs. It's weird.

Last edited by superdub; 5th December 2015 at 11:00 AM.. Reason: a misplaced apostrophe
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Old 5th December 2015, 2:24 PM   #53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chronotrgr View Post
I really miss the old post here instead of contacting your ex thread, more people seemed to post on that one, hopefully this thread will get on a roll at some point.

I'm finding it hard to stick with any kind of decision I'm trying to make at the moment, I haven't contacted you since I left on Thursday, that's not exactly very easy, the last thing I said to you before I left was "don't expect anything between us anymore", that to me was my way of ending things, that's the first time I've ever done that, so what does that mean?, was it in retaliation for being kicked out again?, was it out of feeling hurt?, or did I really mean that?, I just can't figure myself out.

I don't intend on contacting you, even if I feel low and want you to take that away, I don't even really know if I want you, I don't know if it could work after living together for so long to live apart yet remain together, I don't think it should have ever come to that, which tells me whatever we have at least on your part isn't strong enough to last the long haul.

Last time I found myself back in my old bedroom when you broke up with me and kicked me out, I fought for you, I was desperate, I was crying, shaking, trying to reach out for another shot at what we had, this time I just feel deflated and I don't have the energy left to fight anymore, mostly because I don't know what or who I'm even fighting for, I don't even feel like I love you anymore.

I can honestly say I didn't put a foot wrong these last 3 months, I just had that feeling you was picking at me to find any excuse to send me packing again, yet I was still doing everything for you and your kid, trying to do right by the two of you despite you not even trying to do right by me, you are a self entitled person, it's really obnoxious, you make a problem out of everything and demand your own way over everything, I wasn't even allowed to store my bike when I left because you made a problem out of everything, in fairness you didn't give me any time to prepare, you didn't think or care about anything like that.

I don't know what to do anymore, at the moment I'm not really sure I know what I can do, I feel dizzy and out of it, partially because of stress and partially because I'm still trying to get over the flu, you've really run me in to the ground these past few months, I really don't want to go back to that, you've been horrible and it's all been unprovoked, I've never walked away from anyone before so I don't really know how to go about anything.

All I can think of for now is to concentrate on my health and focus on starting over again by myself, which means you being out of the picture once and for all, I have deserved a whole lot more than I've been given since knowing you, I've been shat on an awful lot, I've freed myself from the shackles of your authority, I need to remember that and to keep going forward.
Do you know what happened to the previous thread?
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Old 5th December 2015, 9:40 PM   #54
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What does "fade out" mean?

Its the weekend, so I guess that there is a pretty good chance, that you have gone to prague to **** her brains out and be in love with her.
You are so very good at being in love with someone while they are not threatening your freedom.
Her being five hours away from you helps, I guess.
But the thought of you being with her hurts so much.
Its the only thing that keeps me away from you - the chance of being hurt even more when I find out that you actually are with her.
But I wanted to go to the bus station. To sit there and wait and make sure that you are never gonna board that bus, because you are throwing so much away. You are throwing away the only person that actually gets who you are and how you are and who tries to adapt and make it work nevertheless.
The only person who understands your problem.
The only person who is stupid enough to want kids with you, despite knowing you are gonna cheat on her, hurt her, leave her.
The person that wants to give on your brown eyes, your clever mind and this stupid third nipple.
God, why can't you accept me the way I am. I have accepted your imperfections and always made it about how we got along.
We got along great.
That is what you are not understanding:
that this is actually love.
The caring, the getting along, the not fighting, the feeling of safety. Love should never be anything but safe. Life itself is exciting enough and partnership is about giving each other the strength to live it to the fullest.
But what you have come to know as love is as destructive, as it is passionate.
And since I was never a danger to our relationship - would never have cheated on you or left you - you needed to find something wrong with it.

You never had a problem with the sex with had. You choose to have one.
It might not have been perfect, but through all that staying - which you did for yourself, don't try to tell me otherwise - you never tried to make things work. You never tried to change the things that were wrong with you, you never told about what you disliked. That is why you never gave this thing with us a chance.
You just sat down and waited and went along, hoping a miracle would happen and what you found fault with would go away without you mentioning it and thus without me knowing about it. Things never change without communication.
And I think you never wanted it to change. You alway liked the idea of having a way out. But you were also too chicken to be on your own.
Which is why you can finally take this way out - because now you have her and she doesn't feel like a threat, because she doesn't love you yet and she doesn't want you to love her back yet.
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Old 5th December 2015, 11:25 PM   #55
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It hurts that I have been banished to your past. It hurts that you regard your current partner as the best thing to ever happen to you, and seemingly that no-one before matters. I introduced you to my family. We lived together! And now it's like we have never known each other. I am still trying to comprehend this utter rejection by you. Still. Almost a year later. You don't care. Any time I try to talk to you about the way I'm feeling, I'm just told that I am being negative and that I am supposed to leave you alone. I have to deal with these feelings every single day, and I don't know when they will go away. You have left me, and it still hurts me to this day.
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Old 7th December 2015, 12:00 AM   #56
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How do you even move forward?

Thatís what I really want to know. I want to know how to forget someone that you love with a passion but they donít even care about you. I just want to know. how do you drop these feeling?

Iím so tired of waking up and instantly having you on my mind, Iím tired of having you plague my mind 24/7, Iím tired of reliving old memories, I wish I could get over this as quickly as you did but no, here I am, ****ing 2 or something months after, still fighting ****ing tears.

Iím glad you got a new number, who knows when I would have called you in my depression or drunken stupor. I avoid your fb at all cost because itís almost like suicide looking at that damn picture.

I want this to be over.

I want to forget you.

But I canít, Iím still here, still in ****ing love with you.
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Old 7th December 2015, 12:01 AM   #57
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It's officially day 5 of no contact, I just want to get to that point where I'm no longer counting the days, I think this is the longest I've ever been without talking to you, it's been hard, coping with the flu, adjusting to being back at my mother's house for a little while, trying to deal with missing you.

I can't doubt my decision though, whatever happens, I will not reach out, you wanted to stay together despite kicking me out, but I couldn't do that, you set a lot of boundaries and dictated to me what I could and couldn't do, but more than that the ways which you treated me the last few weeks I was there, it was appalling, it was disgusting, it was cold, heartless and cruel, it brought back old times when you thought it was okay to treat me like that, it was never okay, it still isn't okay and I made a stand for myself and told myself I was worth more than that.

I don't want to go in to it, I'm old enough and experienced enough now to know what going down that path does to you, it postpones healing, it wraps you up in feelings of upset and distress, in general, it makes you a bitter person, you've said and done some nasty thing's, but that was in the moment, I don't truly believe that is your true nature, I don't forgive you and parts of me will have to live with how you've treated me but I'm not the kind of person anymore who lives my life holding grudges.

I have chose to let this slide, and to look at the bright side of this, I am free, no more walking on egg shells, no more drama from your life, no more being woken up every hour by your kid and being driven up the wall with his behaviour, just me me me me me time, and nothing but, no more stress, and yet, it's so sad because at our best, none of that bothered me, not a little, not at all, because I would have always stood by you and I never would have thought the best way to get through our problems was to constantly detatch, that's no way to keep somebody you love close to your heart.

I made you my top priority but I was never that to you, I made all the time in the world for you but you didn't give me that time back in return, things like this should come easy but it's been so hard, now I have to reset my priorities, I'm priority number 1, my son is priority number 1.1, looking for a new place to live and settle in to, priority number 2, looking after my grandparents priority number 3, I have too many people depending on me to simply fold and fall apart, If your wondering why I ended it and haven't contacted you, that is why, because I've let these people down before from feeling distressed from you.

My dad always taught me to be happy on my own, to find peace with myself and to find happiness in the littlest things, he was right, he might be dead and gone but his will carries on and I'll make him proud of me by moving on from this with my dignity and pride in tact.
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Old 7th December 2015, 1:18 AM   #58
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I keep breaking NC, but it's only because you keep posting on CL and looking for someone to be with all the while you are still with the girl you left me for.


What cruelty you have done to the bothof us.


You said you forgave me a long time ago, but still find it hard to forget a lot of my faults in the past.


I still see my therapist,and have been getting help to become a better person. Yet, at the same time, I am depressed as hell over losing you.




I never blamed you. I was hurt in the beginning but now I feel more numb at losing you. My future is more uncertain because I no longer have the promise of marriage from you. You took that away and gave it to her. Yet, here you are, cheating on her after you left.
I followed one of my friends advice to block you on my phone and email. But I already know that you will never contact me regardless. You left me before, and despite how devastating that was for me, you nevertheless came back. This second time, you made your choice to permanently depart.


I hope I can move on from you.
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Old 7th December 2015, 3:10 PM   #59
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I got a text from you that I thought I had been wanting to read..you text me that you think about me every single day. When we broke up you were so angry, thought nothing of our history...I honestly thought you hated me. I was hurt that you could drop me the way you did. Overall, we were both clearly not content with the relationship and the break up had been brewing for some time.

After everything I've been thorough with you, I thought I would feel satisfaction knowing that I wasn't the only one suffering and that you did indeed care about me.

Instead, I cried like a baby.

I know we don't work well together but we both care deeply for each other. That's the hardest part. Letting go and moving on from someone you still love. There's not much more to say or think about as we've already been through this once before.

I wanted so badly to tell you that I missed you..that I wish I would kiss and hug you again but I didn't. I won't get pulled back back in only to have my heart torn apart again. I don't blame you either...you and I both weren't getting what we needed from each other.

My heart is heavy today but I am still marching on...I don't have a choice.
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Last edited by seekingpeaceinlove; 7th December 2015 at 5:07 PM..
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Old 7th December 2015, 6:00 PM   #60
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I don't know why I feel so guilty today, I had to contact you to arrange to pick up the rest of my stuff, why did you have to tell me you loved me, missed me, that you was sorry?, I ended it for a good reason, because there was no way back from the pain you was causing, you told me we couldn't live together because it wasn't working, you've done this a few times before and you always regretted it, I can honestly say I did nothing these past few months, but more than that, you've done nothing, you was never home, we needed time together and a whole lot of effort to get to that point where we wanted to be, I couldn't do that alone could I?, but on the days that we had the chance to do all that, you left me hanging, I was the one person every single time that it was okay to let down, I was insulting myself by hanging in there for you, but then you insulted me by blaming me for the fact things hadn't moved forward and the fact that I was quiet and looked depressed, I felt meaningless and insignificant, as small as an ant, it took a lot for me to end it, even if it was out of upset, but clearly it was the right choice, there's no way back from this, and I can't fight for someone anymore who is too busy and wrapped up in herself to fight back for me, I have my stuff now and I don't intend on contacting you again, I have no reason to, I tried all that abd you can't blame me for leaving.
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