phatgreenbuds67 Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 After all the work I put in to getting over this girl during the first break she contacted me and managed to pull me back in. All our mutual friends were a bit disgusted in me for going back to her but I was in love. During this second phase things seemed to be going well...but then one night I was warned by one of her closest friends to not lead with my bank account. Ok yes I am the guy that spoils the girl I am with. I am fortunate to make great money and I like to do nice things for my girl. So her friend and I talked more and she suggested I test things to see if Julia is in this for the money or for me. She knew the answer already as did everyone else but me. I decided to take the advice and I tested her. I started making the case that we needed to cut back on the spending and being more frugal in the following weeks. Surprise! Things started going south. She began constantly picking at me to start fights and became very critical. Finally one night she started a fight outright that pushed me to the point that I said I had enough. Little did I know what was really going on. Another of her friends, Tamara...and now my very close friend, finally broke her silence and told me the truth. As it happens Julia had been going on Tinder dates behind my back. I consider this cheating even if she didn't do anything with them. She had been telling all the girls that she just wasn't feeling it for me. Yet she couldn't bring herself to end it. My guess is it was the $$$ that kept her spreading her legs nearly every night with me. Hearing all of this and looking back over the relationship I see that she never really brought anything to the table in this relationship. I was doing it all and she was just taking...then going behind my back and making me look like a chump. So the last two weekends Tamara and I have hung out a lot and having a lot of fun. Many pics of us out in the city ended up on Facebook and Julia got mad. Not sure why...she didn't want to be with me so why should she care if someone else does? She blocked me on Facebook now which I find odd since I have made zero attempts to talk to her or contact her in any way. What the hell is that about? She has tried to get these friends to dump me from their lives and because of that I am seriously thinking that I might start dating Tamara for real. Tamara is deeper connected to all of them so in the end Julia would lose that contest. I just feel like a fool for letting this girl use and manipulate me for an entire year. Nothing we shared or did together was real. It was always about the money and lifestyle for her. Why do these kinds of people get to do this and walk away without repercussions? She is moving on to the next guy all happy and excited while I am stuck trying to pick up the pieces of my heart. Where is our justice? Link to post Share on other sites
Stage5Clinger Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 You better make sure Tamara isn't after the same thing and concealing it behind this veil of protection. It's all drama you should really go outside this group of friends if possible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author phatgreenbuds67 Posted October 12, 2015 Author Share Posted October 12, 2015 I am sure she is not. She is the one who finally stepped up and told me the truth and in doing so lost a friendship with Julia. Tamara has remained steadfast that she will not date me until I heal from this. I just don't know how to do that. My dream of what once was is all a lie now and I seem to be the only one that didn't know it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phatgreenbuds67 Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 Not sure how to interpret the things I am feeling. Its a roller-coaster in the very least. Most of the time I am able to believe in the fact that I escaped a bad situation and getting her out of my life is a gift from God. Most of the time when I am ruminating on her I tell myself I don't want her back. And I believe it but I still find myself constantly ruminating. Then there are periods where I am just crushed thinking about how its really over...it will never be what I had hoped and I will never have her in my life again...and that hurts even despite what she has done. I broke down the other night. It was a pool party for a mutual friends bday and while I am not able to see her pics anymore on Facebook. She appeared in a feed of another girls Facebook and there she was with her new guy. The sadness hit, I was so easily replaced and she looked so happy. She doesn't think about me anymore, she doesn't miss me at all. That night around 3am his truck was still parked in her driveway. I am truly lost here. Why do I care? I don't want her back...even if I did I could never allow it to happen. What she did and is doing now can never be forgiven. So why am I still stuck in this depressing state? Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 So why am I still stuck in this depressing state? Because you're fresh off of getting your heart ripped out. Here comes my advice. Do with it what you want. Get tested for STD's. In the future, when someone warns you about a girl, RUN!!! I had my ex's cousins, sisters, aunt, uncle, and ex-boyfriend all warning me not to date her. I did and got destroyed. When people warn you not to date someone, there are likely many instances from that person's past that they know will probably hurt you in the future. Get away from this girl. Just get away. Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 (edited) Phat ...first I'm so sorry your heart is hurting. You deserve someone who possesses a heart that wants to beat next to yours and this girl is not the one ...and it will be difficult to recover from the disappointment of that loss. Now ...of course your heart will hurt for a while ...it protects you while you heal and move on. Do not torture yourself with looking at her pix or doing drive by's at her house!!! Stop that ...you're pouring salt into the wound You are not a chump ...just a guy who loves a girl and it didn't work out. It's a year out of your life but you had fun and shared some special moments ...you're young and supposed to be sowing your oats ...so keep sowing away till the one who's meant for you comes along ...and you'll whisk her away ...some day you'll be too old for all this stuff that this girl did and be happy to just remembering your oats ...sow sow sow those oats As to why ex blocked you ...it's all she could do to have the last word so to speak ...let it go and have your own last word. Be happy ...that's the best last word ...soon you won't be lamenting the loss. As far as Tamara ...if you rush in while your heart is full of resentment and tangled up ...you'll hurt your chances with this girl and she deserves a fully open hearted Phat guy:) Edited October 21, 2015 by StBreton Link to post Share on other sites
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