BelleSkye Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 What did they do to win you over so badly? In my case, I found him sophisticated, witty, intelligent, loved his smile....but....when it came to my happiness, it just was not there....why am I crying over him Link to post Share on other sites
singme2sleep Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 He swept me off my feet, treated me like a princess. Made me feel truly loved and I've never had that before. It was beyond wonderful while it lasted, now my tears are endless and all I see ahead is darkness. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jonesey0 Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Because everything great i remember about my life to this date, she was by my side. Because all the bad things that happened to me during our 13 year relationship, she was by my side. Because just being with her, at her side, made me felt complete, and forget about everything else. Because she is the only person in the whole world who really knows the person i am, who really gets me, and who really appreciated all my small flaws and little quirks. Because during all our time together ive had hundreds of momens in which i thought to myself "if i could freeze time, i would be happy to relive this moment forever - groundhog day like". Because she is a huge part of the person i am today, because she made me be a better person, and because she is my person, my favourite person. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 She was smart, funny, attractive enough, and was there with me in adversity like a trooper. Ironically we broke up just as things were taking an up turn for me. Maybe for me it is thinking that if she could be a light for me in dark times, good times could be that much brighter with her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
singme2sleep Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Because everything great i remember about my life to this date, she was by my side. Because all the bad things that happened to me during our 13 year relationship, she was by my side. Because just being with her, at her side, made me felt complete, and forget about everything else. Because she is the only person in the whole world who really knows the person i am, who really gets me, and who really appreciated all my small flaws and little quirks. Because during all our time together ive had hundreds of momens in which i thought to myself "if i could freeze time, i would be happy to relive this moment forever - groundhog day like". Because she is a huge part of the person i am today, because she made me be a better person, and because she is my person, my favourite person. He's my person, I know exactly what you mean. Whenever something happens, good or bad, he's the first person I want to tell. How do we get past that? I don't think it's possible. I'm always gonna love him. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 For me, I may have had moments where I wished we could go back to the way things were and I may have had fantasies about getting back together with an ex BUT the reality is that once I've turned that corner toward healing I NEVER look back. It's just too painful to retrace old steps particularly if you're someone who doesn't fall in and out of love easily. Most people have a tendency to look back on past relationships and suddenly only remember the good times while forgetting all the bad times. That isn't a fair evaluation of the relationship nor the best reason to get back together. Break ups happen for a reason. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 I wish I could get back together with the person I thought she could be, the one that she told me she was, but that never manifested. I think the harsh truth in a lot of this, is that we found the perfect idea of a person and transposed them into a person who simply didn't live up to it. Now it's heartbreak over an idea, and ideas cannot simply die. Try moving the idea of a person out of who you thought they were and into a position in your mind that anyone can fill. They were just somebody before you met them, and so were you. The only way to get an even better feeling from someone is to move on from that past. If you don't, all you're going to try and do is fly with an anvil strapped to your legs. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 (edited) I would want to get back with my ex if she showed me that she would be a better person to herself and to me. That hasn't happened, so I'm still living my own life. As to what she did to win me over so badly, she didn't really do anything. I was instantly attracted to her. I fell for her the moment I saw her eyes.. when I got to know her, she was adorable, passionate, and very sweet. Edited October 8, 2015 by bluefeather 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jonesey0 Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 He's my person, I know exactly what you mean. Whenever something happens, good or bad, he's the first person I want to tell. How do we get past that? I don't think it's possible. I'm always gonna love him. She was my first girlfriend, i gave her my first kiss, i lost my virginity with her, i finished highscholl with her, i finished college with her, i got my first job with her, i got my first promotion with her, my first trip abroad was with her, my grandpas died and she was with me, her grandpas died and i was with her, had my first car with her, i had my first pet with her, i bought my first house with her, we spent months decorating it how she liked, she was with me when my nephew was born, i was with her when her niece and nephew was born, i went to brothers weddings, she went to my sisters weddings... I could go on forever...so many milestones...we grew up together..and were together in perhaps the most important part of everyones life. Always together, nothing could tear us apart. Of course i will always love her. I am only affraid no one i will ever meet can come even close to what she meant and still means to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
singme2sleep Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 She was my first girlfriend, i gave her my first kiss, i lost my virginity with her, i finished highscholl with her, i finished college with her, i got my first job with her, i got my first promotion with her, my first trip abroad was with her, my grandpas died and she was with me, her grandpas died and i was with her, had my first car with her, i had my first pet with her, i bought my first house with her, we spent months decorating it how she liked, she was with me when my nephew was born, i was with her when her niece and nephew was born, i went to brothers weddings, she went to my sisters weddings... I could go on forever...so many milestones...we grew up together..and were together in perhaps the most important part of everyones life. Always together, nothing could tear us apart. Of course i will always love her. I am only affraid no one i will ever meet can come even close to what she meant and still means to me. I'm afraid of that too, terrified actually. Link to post Share on other sites
Speirling Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 He was my match, we were a pair. Nothing ever felt so natural as being together. It was magic. And unstoppable. I'd get back together with him if I had gotten over everything that happened and he had come to terms with his issues, and forgiven himself. And if whatever it was that was there before was still there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I'm afraid of that too, terrified actually. It's a bit romantic that you feel that way. But I would bet that there is someone out there who would love to prove you wrong. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 This WILL sound pathetic, but my ex is the only one I've dated. I haven't had any other first dates. At all. He loved me wholly and completely. I felt completely safe, adored and protected. We had a longterm friendship before we ever dated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hoosfoos Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I don't. I just wish she never left. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ManyDissapoint Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I wanted to get back with my ex for a couple months after. I was hoping that she was just going through some crap in her head. She was just stringing me along. It took me a while to really unravel the extent to which she had disrespected me and my family. There is no going back to something like that. She knows it too, I think. And will not contact me ever again I believe, because I would rip her a new one. Link to post Share on other sites
Lostdreams Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Nice thread OP it get's you thinking Yes he also did everything to win me over and convincingly. He was my best friend, my best love and it lasted 7 years. I've never felt closer or more comfortable with anyone else in my life. I would love to be back with the man he was ........ but not with the man he has become at least to me. The man I knew and loved simply no longer exists. Maybe it's more like a huge nostalgia for the relationship itself - it was a beautiful relationship while it lasted - perfect fit / soulmates. Milestones together, yes, too many to count. The problem is that there wasn't enough in that relationship to keep him in it - for me it was still a sure thing. I truely felt robbed, not only of his presence in my life but also of our (my) future, when he ended it. At 25 maybe that's less of an issue but in my late forties it hit me quite hard. Now at 16 months post breakup and NC - I still think of him fondly, meaning the moments we shared and the treasured memories....... and deep down I still sometimes hate that he gave up on us and me and I miss what we had. Life makes you who you are - and you know what, I'm also no longer the same person - I think you have to take the positive and move on 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Felicite Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Because everything great i remember about my life to this date, she was by my side. Because all the bad things that happened to me during our 13 year relationship, she was by my side. Because just being with her, at her side, made me felt complete, and forget about everything else. Because she is the only person in the whole world who really knows the person i am, who really gets me, and who really appreciated all my small flaws and little quirks. Because during all our time together ive had hundreds of momens in which i thought to myself "if i could freeze time, i would be happy to relive this moment forever - groundhog day like". Because she is a huge part of the person i am today, because she made me be a better person, and because she is my person, my favourite person. He swept me off my feet, treated me like a princess. Made me feel truly loved and I've never had that before. It was beyond wonderful while it lasted, now my tears are endless and all I see ahead is darkness. Pretty much all these. He made me soooo happy. I was so sad when he was struggling and it’s the first time in my life I would have cut my right hand so to speak, to help him because I truly cared about him and supported his dreams. Anyhow, as it turns out, he may have made me feel like heaven, but he didn’t want to stick around to fulfil our dreams. Maybe he wants to escape reality, but that’s his choice. I’m not responsible for him, to find what he really wants. I have only one life to live, and I want to have a shot at my dreams. I wish he would be beside me, but he has to open his own eyes to see. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I'm posting from the flip side, I gained and grew from not going back to an or the ex... I met my now wife of 8+ years because of it... There is always a flip side and nobody was ever harmed by not going back to or not getting their ex back. As far as a reason to go back to an ex.. to me breaking up because of a misunderstanding lends to leave a second chance is in order,but that is about it.. normally a breakup happens for the best... Link to post Share on other sites
Quintessence Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 (edited) Because nothing in my life has come close to the happiness I experienced during those special moments that I spent with her. Time itself stopped on such occasions and only the two of us remained. I've never felt that way with anyone else. Because for the first time in my life I grasped the true essence of being selfless and utterly devoted to another human being. I would deprive myself of material things just so she could have more; things did not matter. I put her before myself not because I was a fool, but because seeing her happy made me happy, so we both won. That feeling, the purity of that emotion, felt right. That feeling grew in me and made me grow in turn. All I wanted was to protect her and watch her flourish in my secure embrace. Because she made me feel whole and special. Because she is an amalgam of many unique traits that are rare to come across and are thus invaluable to me. This is probably my biggest 'because'. Because of everything we've built during those years we spent together. Because of all the special memories, timeless experiences, trials that we overcame and hardships that we navigated through together. Because together we grew far more than we would have apart. Together we were so much more. We were not perfect, but we came much closer to perfection than we ever could have as individuals. Edited October 9, 2015 by Quintessence 3 Link to post Share on other sites
singme2sleep Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Pretty much all these. He made me soooo happy. I was so sad when he was struggling and it’s the first time in my life I would have cut my right hand so to speak, to help him because I truly cared about him and supported his dreams. Anyhow, as it turns out, he may have made me feel like heaven, but he didn’t want to stick around to fulfil our dreams. Maybe he wants to escape reality, but that’s his choice. I’m not responsible for him, to find what he really wants. I have only one life to live, and I want to have a shot at my dreams. I wish he would be beside me, but he has to open his own eyes to see. What was he struggling with? Link to post Share on other sites
Felicite Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 What was he struggling with? His family considered him a loser, gave him an awful time, and had forced him to abandon everything he liked to follow a specific career. It was ongoing and made him miserable. Amongst other things, I was supportive and helped him keep doing the things he wanted, follow his dreams. Overnight he decided he didn’t appreciate me enough, and left because of GIGS. Maybe he had deeper issues from that, I dunno, but I can’t become his psychologist…Like I said, it’s a pity not to go on and try to have a shot at what I’m looking for. (it would be nice if he ‘d been around though…) Link to post Share on other sites
jonesey0 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Because she is an amalgam of many unique traits that are rare to come across and are thus invaluable to me. So true. Couldnt agree more with this. Link to post Share on other sites
Stage5Clinger Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 What did they do to win you over so badly? Whatever they did right is overshadowed by the pain of being lied to and rejected. I would never take an ex back for the same reason I would never want to go back to highschool. ****s done and over with and I'm a grown ass man now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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