singme2sleep Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I would say this is my 3rd serious heartbreak, so I knew what to expect. I also know from the past that it always seemed like the end of the world, but I was eventually alright and moved on. But this time feels like my very first heartbreak. It feels like I'm never going to get over it. Feels like it's never going to stop hurting. Why? Because I thought he was the one? Or because I truly for the first time put 100% of my trust in someone and they walked out with all of me. Can anyone empathize? Isn't it supposed to get easier instead of harder? Link to post Share on other sites
Reels Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Are you sure that you were ready for a new relationship from the start of this third relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
wlh22 Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Hi singme2sleep, How old are you? Sorry you are feeling like this. Like you said you will move on and be alright eventually. Just remind yourself that. If it's any consolation it is my 3rd breakup as well and I am handling it like crap (absolute crap) and just can't seem to come to my senses. It happens to some people and life will teach us the hard way that they are not worth wasting your life / time on. I hope you feel better. I would say this is my 3rd serious heartbreak, so I knew what to expect. I also know from the past that it always seemed like the end of the world, but I was eventually alright and moved on. But this time feels like my very first heartbreak. It feels like I'm never going to get over it. Feels like it's never going to stop hurting. Why? Because I thought he was the one? Or because I truly for the first time put 100% of my trust in someone and they walked out with all of me. Can anyone empathize? Isn't it supposed to get easier instead of harder? Link to post Share on other sites
Author singme2sleep Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 Hi singme2sleep, How old are you? Sorry you are feeling like this. Like you said you will move on and be alright eventually. Just remind yourself that. If it's any consolation it is my 3rd breakup as well and I am handling it like crap (absolute crap) and just can't seem to come to my senses. It happens to some people and life will teach us the hard way that they are not worth wasting your life / time on. I hope you feel better. I'm 28 years old. Link to post Share on other sites
15Love Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Every relationship is different. This one will hurt worse. Maybe the next will hurt less. Sorry you're hurting. How long since the breakup? Link to post Share on other sites
Author singme2sleep Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 Every relationship is different. This one will hurt worse. Maybe the next will hurt less. Sorry you're hurting. How long since the breakup? 2 1/2 weeks Link to post Share on other sites
JustGettingBy Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 If its been a large number of years since your last break up (if you thought this was "the one" that is likely the case) the resistance previous break ups gave you would be lessened, and your guard would be lower. Keep in mind, you got through two already, so given enough time you'll get through this one as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Cora Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 This is my third major heartbreak as well and to tell you the truth I don't know if it gets any easier? I'm handling this one just as ****ty as I did the first one. Even though the first relationship lasted years and this one roughly six months. It still feels like my world is ending even though it's not. I know it will get easier, it always does, but at this very moment I cannot see that light at the end of the tunnel. It's been exactly four months and five days since the breakup and also when NC started. I'm still feeling crappy though. Some days are better than others yes, but I know I'm nowhere near being completely over him yet. I guess all we can do is take it one day at a time. I'm so sorry you are having to feel this pain too. I hope you can at the very least find a little solace in that you are not alone. Wishing you better days ahead. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Judging from your posts, it sounds like you keep repeating the same mistakes in your relationships. So, in a sense, it's almost like you're reliving the pain of that first breakup because all you've done is swapped out partners but continued to follow similar behaviors, which have led to the same result: You feeling crushed by the end of the relationship. I'm going to post in your thread in the Breakup forum, because I have some more insights, but I think the above is your main problem and the reason you keep finding yourself in the same position. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author singme2sleep Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 Judging from your posts, it sounds like you keep repeating the same mistakes in your relationships. So, in a sense, it's almost like you're reliving the pain of that first breakup because all you've done is swapped out partners but continued to follow similar behaviors, which have led to the same result: You feeling crushed by the end of the relationship. I'm going to post in your thread in the Breakup forum, because I have some more insights, but I think the above is your main problem and the reason you keep finding yourself in the same position. Honestly every relationship was different. The second one, he never said he loved me, never even labeled me his girlfriend. And looking back now I wasn't in love with him. But with this one now, he was nothing like the other two. He told me he loved me every day, made me feel special and wanted. He was committed to me. I spent time with his family, we were very involved in each other's lives. If anything, maybe I give too much. But with this relationship it was equal. He just has a lot of personal demons and issues going on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author singme2sleep Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 I believe that when you meet the right person, you can't mess it up. They stick around no matter what. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 I believe that when you meet the right person, you can't mess it up. They stick around no matter what. There are plenty of ways you can mess a relationship up, even with the right person. Physical and mental abuse; infidelity; taking the relationship for granted. I think a mistake a lot of people make is thinking that with the right person, love is enough and always will be. Even the right relationships require regular maintenance and aren't impenetrable from many factors that cause even the weakest of relationships to end. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 I believe that when you meet the right person, you can't mess it up. They stick around no matter what. Not true. Everyone has their conditions upon which they will leave a relationship. Also, we don't choose to fall out of love with a person. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 There are plenty of ways you can mess a relationship up, even with the right person. Physical and mental abuse; infidelity; taking the relationship for granted. I think a mistake a lot of people make is thinking that with the right person, love is enough and always will be. Even the right relationships require regular maintenance and aren't impenetrable from many factors that cause even the weakest of relationships to end. Very true words. Something else I've noticed, and I first noticed this about myself. We often expect for someone to love us unconditionally, but we have a difficult time offering the same to someone else. We like to have our own set of standards, but we don't feel we should be held to a certain set of standards. Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 On one hand, the second and third time hurt less because you KNOW for a fact you will pull through and the pain won't last forever. But on the other hand I can see how it sometimes hurts more, as you feel angry that you're suddenly going through this all again, that somehow another relationship messed up, you're exhausted by the thought of going through the whole process again and possibly meeting someone new one day, it's so tough. Be kind to yourself. This is normal. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 I believe that when you meet the right person, you can't mess it up. They stick around no matter what. Mate for life concept. I believe this too. We all have issues to sort through, and the right person will likely be compatible with you to work through those issues without departure. No person is perfect. Your mate won't be perfect and neither will you be perfect, but I think when your imperfections are compatible, it will work. You mirror each other and help each other grow. No one is free from issues. Even if you improve and are in a better state than you were 10 years ago, you still will have issues and no relationship is without challenges along the way. We all mess up in relationships and have flaws. We're human. Friends and family don't leave if they love you and care for you, despite your issues. I think it's the same with a romantic partner. If the person leaves, it's not meant to be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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