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Pouring my heart out


Hewie

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Since there is actually literally no one that I could speak to about this, I could never pour things out from my heart to anyone, I decided to do it here.

 

Just a small background run on what happened, I was in a 3 years 6 months relationship with the most beautiful girl I have ever met, but she ended it because she had enough of my mistakes and everything.

 

She told her friends she is feeling guilty because I treated her really good (ultimately saying all this does not justify why she still dumped me) She gave me the very last chance of chasing her back by correcting myself which I was willing to do so but I did not contact her.

 

All of these just change within the first two weeks when I did not contact her at all but still do attend some gathering and events by other friends. The last event that we attended together, was the day I pulled her out and talk to her face to face. I plead, I beg, I cried, I think irrationally, but she just told me she has no feelings for me anymore. I was devastated, upset, feeling worthless and useless. Her peers are siding her, so she dont see herself being at fault at all. Because to her peers, "If you want me back, text me contact me. But obviously you did not. So it shows how much this relationship really mean to you"

 

I dont get how her peers thinks, but no matter how I explain my actions, I am still at fault at everything. I mean come on everything up till today is both parties fault. BTW, she is really easily influenced by her peers around her. When we were together, I serperated her from her useless dumb girlfriends who love to see people's misery as their own joy. There are tons of things that they do that I dont see why are they being labelled as 'quality' friends...

 

I also found out through my own peers (we shared tons of mutual friends) there is a guy around her now that has been hanging around her life and she is really moved by what that guy has done for her. Within that two weeks that I did not contact her, this guy came into her life. Her dumb girlfriends would kept telling her that this guy is so much better than me.

 

I have stayed in NC for 2 months or more now... At times, I really wish I could get her back but hard truth is she does not want me anymore. All the efforts and time put together with her, she chose to smash it like that with a snap of finger. I was pretty sure she was the young woman that I wanted to marry... But I didnt see this coming. I am not perfect, so is she... But why cant she love me like how I love her. This is the 2nd time she has lost her feelings for me...

 

Best of all, I dont get what she is trying to do, on instagram and twitter she would tweet and post about how happy she is. I know I should have care less but I dont get what she wants and what is she trying to show? That she is the pitiful one? That I am the one who dumped her? Why is she creating drama out of nothing. I beg and plead more than I could think of, but according to her best girlfriend, I dont deserve her. She told best girlfriend to pass on this message to me that to let her go and move on with my life. How can I do that just like her...

 

Even after two months and more of NC and such, I do feel slightly better but deep down there, I know how I wish I could turn back time and do things the right way. I will try updating on a regular basis since there is no one that I could pour all this thoughts to

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Oh great, looking back at my past post,

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/355452-i-am-very-lost-my-current-girlfriend

 

This is not the first time. Losing feelings for me in and out. I did not want this break up, she wanted a break, I gave it to her...

 

I did not mean to keep quiet during that first 2 weeks, I was wrong yes, but I was really upset that I have to give you something that I do not even want it at all...

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"If you want me back, text me contact me. But obviously you did not. So it shows how much this relationship really mean to you"

 

OKay, if you want her back do not do NC!! The quote you've said up there says it all.

 

You should have contacted her to show that you actually care.

 

Communication is SO important to a girl and NC just give her the idea that you do not even think about her or don't want to talk to her etc.

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"If you want me back, text me contact me. But obviously you did not. So it shows how much this relationship really mean to you"

 

OKay, if you want her back do not do NC!! The quote you've said up there says it all.

 

You should have contacted her to show that you actually care.

 

Communication is SO important to a girl and NC just give her the idea that you do not even think about her or don't want to talk to her etc.

 

Okay iam SOOO confused by this statement. I'm going thru a similar breakup (currently 2 weeks in...and now 6 days NC) and EVERYONE I've talked to said I should stay NC and make HER want to come back because SHE was the one who did the breaking up. She did the destroying of the relationship and ultimately ended it so you can never force someone to love you or want you back...it has to come from them.

 

 

In my situation, I love that girl with all my heart, but we were together for 2 years and she dropped me on a dime 2 weeks ago. I've gone NC since last Thursday, blocked her work/txt and fb. Then she gave me a call on Friday (thru her work phone which wasn't blocked) but didn't leave a msg and nothing more since then. I did unblock her thru phone/txt but not fb.....sorry to hijack the thread but I felt we were in similar situations and EVERYONE I talk to (including a professional) says stay NC. That advice you gave can be damaging.

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