I kind of moved on so I don't understand....

[xpaperxcutx]

why my ex is reaching out to me?

 

I thought I always knew what kind of person my ex was, but after being broken up for almost 10 months now, his sudden contact has really confused me.

 

In the beginning when everything was still fresh, and the pain raw, I thought I couldn't live without him. But everyday I wake up now living my life, pursuing my goals of finishing college (I have one year left). Granted, my thoughts sometimes still wanders back to him, but I can say that I can look to a future where I can live without him.

 

In recent months, we have bumped into each other on the subway (I'm in New York), and coincidences or not, I have avoided every possible way to make sure we don't have those encounters again. These past two weeks I have been doing well, an this past Sunday, I was at my aunt and uncle's place. I was having a good time with family and all of a sudden I got an email from my ex. He was trying to start up a conversation but I asked him politely to stop telling me about his life and that I was okay. I cut our emails short.

 

Later, I found another email of his in my spam inbox, where he suggested FWB. I deleted his emails.

 

 

I know he only reached out to me because he was looking for me to sleep with him. But I never want to do that with him because I have more respect for myself and I know he has a girlfriend. He always used to throw it in my face that she was the one he was going to marry. So why reach out to me to cheat on her?

 

I also know he posts on Craigslist looking for sex and recently he tried to post for me using a nickname that he used to call. I know so much stuff about my ex, but I just don't understand his behavior. The fact that he uses these tactics to try to get my attention is sick. He doesn't reach out to me like a normal person through a phone call or text, but he will send emails to me out of the blue.

 

I don't know why he is doing this to me. Can someone please help me understand why he is doing this to me?

[La.Primavera]

Honestly I think this is all about sex. Whether it is with you or a stranger, it sounds like he is desperate for it.

 

Aside from sending you that fwb request via email, I don't think it is reasonable to assume he intended for you to read his Craigslist add, unless he sent you a link to it? Frankly it would be a bit embarrassing if he did. It is also possible he could be trying his luck with other exes or acquaintances as well.

 

He sounds lonely and horny which is why I think he is behaving this way. I know it can be hard if you still care about him a little, but I think you are handling this the right way because these are not the actions of someone wanting to reconcile.

 

You are wise to keep deleting the emails.

[casey.lives]

it's called triangulation. BEWARE

 

[15Love]

Unfortunately, he sounds bored.

 

He's just putting out feelers everywhere.

 

Sadly you're just one of them.

 

Keep your standards high. Don't fall for any of this. He will use you and you will feel worse then before.

 

Delete and block.

 

Get a new email if you have to.

[xpaperxcutx]

I found out why he is reaching out to me.... Apparently he can think only think about sex with me even though he has a gf. He hasnt had sex with her because he is waiting for marriage. He called me last night to tell me all this. But he still wants marry her.

 

I am so stupid to have broken NC to hear about him being so selfish. I should mean more shouldnt I?

 

I havent dated anyone because I want to be the best version of myself. Because of him i havent stopped crying since last night.

[15Love]

I'm so sorry

 

What sense does it make for him to tell you that?!

 

What a jerk!

[La.Primavera]

I am so stupid to have broken NC to hear about him being so selfish. I should mean more shouldnt I?

 

Don't look for validation from him. He has screwed up morals and lacks common decency. It may hurt right now but you will get past this pain and be stronger for it. You are very lucky to not be dating this loser anymore.

 

Take care.

[dyna85]

In my opinion, this sort of behavior is beyond comprehension because it's not decent. It's messed up and deceitful, so why try to understand? If I were you, I would block this person, permanently. I wouldn't even bother to open his emails. I would delete them, and I wouldn't read through Craig's list, if you know he's posting there for you. You need to remove all remnants of him from your life. Hanging on to him is doing a disservice to you. Why contemplate a guy who is reaching out to you in the hopes of cheating on his girlfriend? If he is willing to cheat on her, do you think he'll treat you respectfully?

 

In my opinion, the reason as to why he's doing this doesn't matter. The better question would be, why are you entertaining these thoughts? He has a gf who he bragged to you about wanting to marry and he's with her and perusing Craig's list seeking sex. This guy is a no good loser. Delete him from your mind. He's not worth a second thought.

[xpaperxcutx]

^^ I understand.

 

I just been feeling pretty down lately. He hasn't reach out to me and unfortunately i made the horrible mistake of telling him I wanted him back. I guess that has inflated his ego?

 

He doesn't want me but he was reaching out to me before? Because the only thing he wasn't getting from her was sex. Yes, he told me point blank that he was happy but all he was looking for was sex.

 

 

I feel so sad. Like the the man I fell in love with all these years has become a monster. When I think about him I just tear up. I have given up hope completely. I haven't been the same either. I have lost all my self-esteem. Back to NC then.

[dyna85]

^^ I understand.

 

I just been feeling pretty down lately. He hasn't reach out to me and unfortunately i made the horrible mistake of telling him I wanted him back. I guess that has inflated his ego?

 

He doesn't want me but he was reaching out to me before? Because the only thing he wasn't getting from her was sex. Yes, he told me point blank that he was happy but all he was looking for was sex.

 

 

I feel so sad. Like the the man I fell in love with all these years has become a monster. When I think about him I just tear up. I have given up hope completely. I haven't been the same either. I have lost all my self-esteem. Back to NC then.

 

Just because you said you wanted him back at a certain time doesn't mean that statement will hold throughout time. You have the ability to change direction if you choose. You don't need to stay stuck in this drama. The fact that he disclosed to you the intimate details of his current relationship and tried to rope you in for no strings attached sex shows what a scumbag he is.

It's okay to feel sad. Of course you're upset now realizing he's not who you thought he was. It's okay to cry. Embrace your emotions. You have not lost all of your self-esteem. It's just really bruised right now.

 

You have more power than you realize in this situation and you can turn it around, for your greatest benefit. Don't let this hurt define you. Consider it a harsh lesson of life. If you see it for what it is, and face your emotions head on, you will be much stronger for this in the long run.

 

The sad reality is, he is a lost cause. However, YOU have so much going for you. You are the caring one, the non liar, the one who is loyal and doesn't betray. YOU are a valuable person. Don't you see that he has nothing on you? You need to recognize your worth and build yourself up more.

 

The first step is to block, delete, ignore. The second step is to take action and do what you can to move forward -- eat healthy, exercise, get out with people.

 

It's okay to wallow, but at a certain point you have to dust yourself up and keep it moving. You need to disconnect from him as a first step though. NC must be permanent in an instance like this, in my opinion. You will get there, slowly but surely. Have faith in yourself.