Also coping quite badly with anxiety

[Ellie35]

Hi everyone,

 

I have been lurking here for the last two weeks. I am 60 days no contact and the anxiety appears to be getting worse.

 

I have been doing everything right in my eyes but maybe you all could help even those further along the road. I know I will not break no contact but I can't get over the crippling self doubt and fear of the future.

 

I have kept myself busy, do yoga, boxercise , Kettlebells, got a first in my thesis , have spent time with friends and family , tried new things etc

 

I get about 5/6 hours sleep a night, appetite is low and I awake and anxiety including stomach and chest palpitations begin.

 

I read books, articles etc on low self esteem, seeking validation etc and still to no avail!

 

Anybody with any tips or help with this, please advise me on the way forward as today is the first day I really don't want to go to work.

 

I've anxiety about everything else too and had an interview recently where the anxiety won out and although I was selected for interview (only seven were) I wasn't chosen for a second interview. Damn ! That makes me feel ****ty too!

 

Help folks needed!!!

[15Love]

Try transdermal magnesium. Not the pills. Transdermal, through the skin. It makes ALL the difference.

 

Not enough magnesium will 100% make your anxiety worse and you won't be able to sleep. You've been under a lot of stress, so you're for sure depleted.

 

Google: magnesium deficience and anxiety. You'll be shocked that the way you're feeling isn't strictly in your head.

 

Let me know what you think

[jen1447]

60 days is actually fairly early for extreme cases of grief and/or major social rejection (which is essentially what breakups are), so you're still quite naturally in the thick of it imo. It should start to lessen noticeably in another month or so, then about 3 more months in 'recovery' so to speak, then another 3 before you're 'all better.' (LOL) But the latter 6 are nowhere near as bad as the first ~3.

 

That all assumes you're like me, which you may or may not be and of course situations may vary. But take some solace in knowing that still being in the thick of it at 2 months isn't abnormal. You're going thru a pretty horrible crisis, so taking time to come out of it is to be expected. But you will.

 

Stay strong. Even tho it sucks and feels like you're anything but, you actually are.

[Ellie35]

Try transdermal magnesium. Not the pills. Transdermal, through the skin. It makes ALL the difference.

 

Not enough magnesium will 100% make your anxiety worse and you won't be able to sleep. You've been under a lot of stress, so you're for sure depleted.

 

Google: magnesium deficience and anxiety. You'll be shocked that the way you're feeling isn't strictly in your head.

 

Let me know what you think

 

I went to the health shop and got magnesium and vitamin b. The lady in the shop recommended the powder and said she had used it and it was brilliant. If I can get a good nights sleep , I am hoping this anxiety and chest pain will decrease!!!

 

I found your response very enlightening as last November I had my gall bladder removed which may have (according to google)led to magnesium deficiency!!!

 

Since then and in hindsight, I had felt very sensitive , anxious although the relationship may have caused some of this or my two jobs or my MA!! Lol!!!

[Ellie35]

60 days is actually fairly early for extreme cases of grief and/or major social rejection (which is essentially what breakups are), so you're still quite naturally in the thick of it imo. It should start to lessen noticeably in another month or so, then about 3 more months in 'recovery' so to speak, then another 3 before you're 'all better.' (LOL) But the latter 6 are nowhere near as bad as the first ~3.

 

That all assumes you're like me, which you may or may not be and of course situations may vary. But take some solace in knowing that still being in the thick of it at 2 months isn't abnormal. You're going thru a pretty horrible crisis, so taking time to come out of it is to be expected. But you will.

 

Stay strong. Even tho it sucks and feels like you're anything but, you actually are. [/quote

 

Thanks for the very supportive message. You are right and I am nowhere near as bad as I was however I could do without the insomnia and anxiety!!!

 

I had thought by the end of September, I would be on the home stretch! But want to tackle this anxiety before another person suggests prescription medication to me!

[15Love]

I went to the health shop and got magnesium and vitamin b. The lady in the shop recommended the powder and said she had used it and it was brilliant. If I can get a good nights sleep , I am hoping this anxiety and chest pain will decrease!!!

 

I found your response very enlightening as last November I had my gall bladder removed which may have (according to google)led to magnesium deficiency!!!

 

Since then and in hindsight, I had felt very sensitive , anxious although the relationship may have caused some of this or my two jobs or my MA!! Lol!!!

 

So glad you looked into it!

 

I think even the powder will help you sleep and help with the chest pain, and anxiety. And the B is great too.

 

BUT watch out for bowel upset. That's one of the things you circumvent with transdermal application. Through the skin it skips the digestive track which is very helpful to get the higher quanties we all need.

 

Apparently they showed oral magnesium took months years to show improvement in problematic symptoms and days to weeks through the skin.

 

Just something to think about. Especially if you don't notice drastic improvement with the powder.

[madde]

Hello Ellie35! I was reading your story and it seems that somehow it is very similar to that I was going through couple weeks ago. It was like insane, but stay strong, it is getting better with time. I got many advices there, what helped me: cardio exercises, breathing exercises and meditation. Sometimes when it was the worst, I took some herbal medicine to calm down. Best wishes to you, you can make it!

[StrangerThanFiction]

I found hypnosis really helped me with my anxiety, personally.

[Ellie35]

So glad you looked into it!

 

I think even the powder will help you sleep and help with the chest pain, and anxiety. And the B is great too.

 

BUT watch out for bowel upset. That's one of the things you circumvent with transdermal application. Through the skin it skips the digestive track which is very helpful to get the higher quanties we all need.

 

Apparently they showed oral magnesium took months years to show improvement in problematic symptoms and days to weeks through the skin.

 

Just something to think about. Especially if you don't notice drastic improvement with the powder.

 

Hey,

 

I'll keep that in mind. I am awake again yet noticeably no chest pain or stomach fluttering! Result. Hopefully over the next few nights sleep will get better too.

 

My mind is also no longer racing and I am yawning a lot. I feel tired and not hyper and tense like I was feeling.

 

I think of the relationship/break up but not in an obsessive way too and now I can tell my mind to shut the **** up and keep saying to myself "what about you?"

 

Thanks a million for your advice! Greatly appreciated!!!!

[Ellie35]

Hello Ellie35! I was reading your story and it seems that somehow it is very similar to that I was going through couple weeks ago. It was like insane, but stay strong, it is getting better with time. I got many advices there, what helped me: cardio exercises, breathing exercises and meditation. Sometimes when it was the worst, I took some herbal medicine to calm down. Best wishes to you, you can make it!

 

Hey thanks for your response. It certainly does feel like you are going insane and I am very hard on myself at the best of times. I had tried the cardio and the meditation and will continue to do so.

 

Your right, it does get better with time, slowly slowly !!!

[Ellie35]

I found hypnosis really helped me with my anxiety, personally.

 

That's next on my list. I also smoke so it will be good to knock that on the head too.

[15Love]

Hey,

 

I'll keep that in mind. I am awake again yet noticeably no chest pain or stomach fluttering! Result. Hopefully over the next few nights sleep will get better too.

 

My mind is also no longer racing and I am yawning a lot. I feel tired and not hyper and tense like I was feeling.

 

I think of the relationship/break up but not in an obsessive way too and now I can tell my mind to shut the **** up and keep saying to myself "what about you?"

 

Thanks a million for your advice! Greatly appreciated!!!!

 

Yay! You're so welcome!

 

Yes, that sounds like the magnesium deficiency getting turned around. Go online, or back to the store and get yourself some magnesium gel. Rub it on your legs (adding more and more as you'll be shocked to watch your skin soak it up) for twenty minutes while you watch tv. Shower and hit the sack.

 

Or grab some magnesium flakes, through it in a warm bath and soak for 20.

 

So glad you saw results!

[Ellie35]

Hey folks,

 

Had seven hours sleep last nigh and feel much better. Woke up this morning anxiety free. Although, I did think I miss him and I wonder if he misses me. Went to hot yoga last night and packing my bags for a festival this weekend. Going to festival with random friends rather than close buddies so hopefully it all goes well.

 

I noticed over the last two months that it's when I am alone for long periods or with little distractions that I miss him more. I miss the idea and dreams of the future, the possibilities that something could have been great and amazing!! I wonder if I'll ever meet anyone who just gets me!!!

 

Meanwhile, a guy I dated face booked me and we are meeting for drinks at some stage. We had stayed in touch sporadically.

 

On a weird note, I still hope the ex gets in touch so I am not over him yet!!! When will I be indifferent!!!!????

[15Love]

 

Had seven hours sleep last nigh and feel much better. Woke up this morning anxiety free.

 

Yay!

 

 

On a weird note, I still hope the ex gets in touch so I am not over him yet!!! When will I be indifferent!!!!????

 

That's the magic question we're all searching for. But hopefully if the anxiety is less and the sleep is better you'll be better equipped to deal with the frustration that is still caring.

[Ellie35]

Hey all,

 

Was at a festival at the weekend. Got far too drunk. I noticed about myself the last couple of weeks that I am drinking far more than I used to plus drinking spirits!! This has increases my anxiety no end. I've decided to cut this back big time. It's like I had to numb myself when I go out!! Anyone else go through a similar phase!!!

 

I am also man hating at the moment. Really don't want to be around men right now. Any of them. Had a friend declare feelings for me and was so angry. Met a few of my exs friends which was super awkward too.

 

Yesterday, my sisters and a good friend were here and we had such a laugh. My boiler got fixed and didn't have to be replaced so that saved me a few bob!! Feeling great about that.

 

I still think of my ex and it's over ten weeks? (Maybe) no contact and wonder if he misses me!! I am still vulnerable and still lonely! I will continue focusing on myself and hope that I get stronger.

 

The physical anxiety has decreased significantly and I take the magnesium and vitamin b which helps. My appetite is still low enough and I need to get back to exercising more.

 

Folks, what a weird and wonderful opportunity to learn about ourselves when we are vulnerable but how scary, frightening and lonely it is at the same time!!

[Oregon_Dude]

I am also man hating at the moment. Really don't want to be around men right now. Any of them.

I kind of hate women right now - all of them - so yay! We can be misandrists and misogynists together!

[Ellie35]

Well I have been stalking LS no end today , it's so addictive!!

 

Still think of my ex a lot and wish/hope/want him to text/call/ email me!! Why? Is it an ego thing? What would I say anyway? It's some weird validation seeking bull****?

 

My life is going on and physically I am doing well!! Still on the vitamin b and the magnesium which is so helpful for the anxiety.

 

I can't wait till I stop coming on this site as that will mean I truly have moved on!!

 

Still for all those who are struggling, no contact despite all the agonising, analysing , anxiety provoking moments, no contact is the only way to get back to yourself,.

[Oregon_Dude]

I can't wait till I stop coming on this site as that will mean I truly have moved on!!

That's a bit insulting to the LS'ers who have moved on from their exes, are now in happy r/s's and continue to post.. you know, to give back to the community that so helped them.

 

Anyway, of course you want to be contacted, to show that he still cares. What you don't realize is that by NOT contacting you, he is doing you the favor of allowing you to move on.

 

But what do I know; I'm just an a**hole man.

[Ellie35]

That's a bit insulting to the LS'ers who have moved on from their exes, are now in happy r/s's and continue to post.. you know, to give back to the community that so helped them.

 

I don't mean it like that, LS is my best mate right now but in fairness if I was fully over him , I wouldn't be on here.

 

It's great that people come back and offer support to others but hopefully my life will be so full that I won't need this support anymore.

[Ellie35]

[quote

 

Anyway, of course you want to be contacted, to show that he still cares. What you don't realize is that by NOT contacting you, he is doing you the favor of allowing you to move :

 

 

Ah sure I know. Damn it Oregon dude it's the ego. Just need to let go. That's the struggle. When does that change? What tips have you for that?

[Oregon_Dude]

Damn it Oregon dude it's the ego. Just need to let go. That's the struggle. When does that change? What tips have you for that?

Are you sure you want my advice? I am a man, after all jk

 

Of course it's the ego. We depend on others to a degree to have a sense of self. Our ex was our primary source of "self" for months, years. We relied on them to tell us how "special" we are, etc. Now that that drug is gone, we feel like we're worthless, b/c we were so dependent on their high.

 

Getting over a b/u is like any other skill. It takes practice. So, when you feel worthless or like you never meant anything to him, you can practice saying, "I am an amazing partner. I am capable of love. I am giving and I am worthy. I will find another great man when the time is right for me."

 

It's going to require constant reinforcement to battle the negative and self-defeating thoughts. At a certain point, though, it will become habit.

 

How we think and treat ourselves determines how we view life.

Edited September 14, 2015 by Oregon_Dude

[Ellie35]

You are right.Is this odd? I want home to text because I think it would in some way give me my power back.... I wouldn't even respond, I would just be " muh hahaha" . Sad isn't it!!?? I want him to contact me so I can ignore him!!!

 

How long does this stage last?!

 

As you know, I don't care about about other men or relationships right now!!!!!

[15Love]

You are right.Is this odd? I want home to text because I think it would in some way give me my power back.... I wouldn't even respond, I would just be " muh hahaha" . Sad isn't it!!?? I want him to contact me so I can ignore him!!!

 

How long does this stage last?!

 

As you know, I don't care about about other men or relationships right now!!!!!

 

I don't think it's odd at all. You just want to know he's thinking about you. And if he won't conact you, then you contacting him will gaurantee he at least thinks about you when he gets that text.

 

Not odd but...don't do it!

[Oregon_Dude]

I've gotten a text from the ex that I ignored. It gave me a temporary high but I just felt sad the next day. The only way to "win" in this scenario is to do fun things with your life and let time do the rest.

[Ellie35]

I don't think it's odd at all. You just want to know he's thinking about you. And if he won't conact you, then you contacting him will gaurantee he at least thinks about you when he gets that text.

 

Not odd but...don't do it!

 

I know and thank you.

I will never never ever contact him. And I need to accept he will never ever ever contact me. That's what I need to accept and get into my head and heart:confused:

 

Damn.... Am off to sleep now. Tomorrow new day, hopefully less thinking about him as I shall be busy in work!!

 

Thanks love shackers!!!! Good night