How do I let go?

[LostnConfused_23]

Hi, I am new to this site. Im going to try to make this short but understandable

 

I was dating a guy in high school that was my first serious relationship. We dated off and on for 3 years. One night he went to a party and then the next day a girl from there started sending me messages saying that she met him there and thats how she knew who I was...but then said they were so drunk she cant remember much else...still not sure why she felt the need to message me just to say that

 

About a week later after I had been questioning him about that night he broke up with me bc I didnt trust him enough

 

All came out that he had cheated on me and at some point I even got drunken voicemails from him where he would describe things he had done

 

Fast forward another 4 years & they are still together and have a child. I am having such a hard time dealing with the fact that he can be so in love with her but yet treated me so mean. I always wonder what made her so much better than me. He took a lot of my youth and innocence away. I grew to hate my self

[d0nnivain]

At this point, 4 years after the fact, if you are still not over him, perhaps it's time to seek professional insight.

[Qboro90]

Long term high school relationships tend to mold each persons outlook towards dating and what their BF/gf should be... Then when it ends those standards are still engrained despite being completely immature and false in most cases. You've failed to develop your individuality and self security past high school and this guy and that's why you continue to harp on why he did this to you. Instead of realizing that 16-20 year old guys do stupid mean **** and leaving it at that. There's no deeper meaning or personal attack on you that you'll uncover. The final answer is that guys around that age do hurtful inconsiderate ****... A lot.

 

 

Gotta be able to see that and move on. If you can't for whatever reason then you might need to consider what the above post suggested.