Jonp219 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Why would anyone want to keep that ****? And even if you become indifferent one day why would you want to be reminded of one of the biggest mistakes in your life? I never understood that. I deleted every single photo I had of her a month following the break up, and today I threw out the box where I kept everything she ever gave to me (even an expensive watch she once gave me). I don't see the point of keeping that junk, for what? Link to post Share on other sites
StalwartMind Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 I guess in the vast majority of cases people do indeed decide to get rid of "reminders", because it brings back too many feelings of something which didn't work out. Also when you enter a new relationship, I'm sure most feel it would be inconsiderate to have to deal with any items of an ex, as that can send mixed signals. There are however some situations where one does wish to keep reminders, especially if say you are so unfortunate to have lost your ex in an accident or other tragic ways. I'm certain not everyone can handle even their new partner having such, but in a sensible way you shouldn't fear such a situation, as there is also nothing wrong with honoring said person who has departed. This is perhaps the least frequent example people will encounter, but still worth a mention. I do think overall it comes down to each individual, if two people are considerate and understand each other, then the appropriate actions will happen. One thing many forget during or after a breakup is that, there were good times too, and not every relationship ends on a dramatic notion. Either way I don't really think there is a right or wrong way to act with this, especially when you enter a new relationship again, people will hopefully just be very respectful of their partner's wishes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 If the stuff is still emotionally attached to the other person & it reminds you of them & hurts you the stuff needs to go. At some point it becomes just stuff I also abhor waste so throwing away the expensive stuff seems crazy to me. If you had to get rid of the watch, you could have sold it & kept the cash. I still have a few pieces I have from EXs over the years including an emerald necklace, some gold jewelry, a futon couch and an antique trunk. At this point I have had most of that for more than 20 years & it's mine. I don't attach it to them but I do like the stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Many people discard "stuff" as when grieving they can be very painful reminders, but some regret it later, as a big chunk of their history is then unrecorded. NO pics when you went to Italy, no souvenirs, no pics/videos of that last great holiday with your gran, no pics of the flat you once owned or the dog you shared. YOU no longer have that fantastic watch or that really comfy sofa, or that picture signed by that celebrity, etc. Life moves on, the pain and anger goes away, but you can never get back the things you threw away, just because your ex happened to be in the frame or they reminded you of her/him. And yes stuff, is just stuff, but sometimes we can hanker after the "stuff" we will never get back, more so, than the person we were dumped by or we discarded. They just fade into insignificance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 If the stuff is still emotionally attached to the other person & it reminds you of them & hurts you the stuff needs to go. At some point it becomes just stuff I also abhor waste so throwing away the expensive stuff seems crazy to me. If you had to get rid of the watch, you could have sold it & kept the cash. I still have a few pieces I have from EXs over the years including an emerald necklace, some gold jewelry, a futon couch and an antique trunk. At this point I have had most of that for more than 20 years & it's mine. I don't attach it to them but I do like the stuff. Alright, I didn't throw away the watch lol. I almost did, but I then gave it to my brother to give to his girlfriends uncle since he collects them. I was going to put it in the bag but he soon stopped me so I just gave it to him and told him to take it out of my sight. I definitely burned the love letters and the pictures we had together. No amount of time will make me look back at that junk and make me smile. I think I still have some stuffed animals she gave me for Valentine's Day stored in another box, I think I might throw those out next. Link to post Share on other sites
Marco Valerio Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 To me it's clear that is something you need to do in order to firmly move on with your life. Why keep all those memories under the bed? There's no point!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 Many people discard "stuff" as when grieving they can be very painful reminders, but some regret it later, as a big chunk of their history is then unrecorded. NO pics when you went to Italy, no souvenirs, no pics/videos of that last great holiday with your gran, no pics of the flat you once owned or the dog you shared. YOU no longer have that fantastic watch or that really comfy sofa, or that picture signed by that celebrity, etc. Life moves on, the pain and anger goes away, but you can never get back the things you threw away, just because your ex happened to be in the frame or they reminded you of her/him. And yes stuff, is just stuff, but sometimes we can hanker after the "stuff" we will never get back, more so, than the person we were dumped by or we discarded. They just fade into insignificance. Well that's great we didn't really share too many moments like that. The furthest we ever went for vacation as embarrassing it is to say is Connecticut lol. She was always scared of what her parents would say if we flew somewhere far so we just did our getaways local. There's nothing extravagant about CT so it's whatever lol. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Alright, I didn't throw away the watch lol. I almost did, but I then gave it to my brother to give to his girlfriends uncle since he collects them. I was going to put it in the bag but he soon stopped me so I just gave it to him and told him to take it out of my sight. . Whew! Not that my opinion matters but I'm glad you repurposed the watch & gave it a good home away from you. I was cringing to think you threw it out. Getting the stuff out of your space is helpful. As Elaine pointed out some of the pictures are about you so deleting them isn't always the answer. I would put them in a box for about a year, then sort them out when the acute emotions had died down. So I do still have pictures from trips I took with my EX but I did throw out the couple-y ones & kept the ones of me & the scenery. Digitally I'd store them on a thumb drive or a file in a cloud just so you don't have to see them routinely now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 I'm selling some of the stuff. I kept his bath towel which i use as a rag for cleaning etc. i packed certain other things away and have no intention of doing anything with them right now, and i dont think i will ever delete the photos of us on our holiday. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 (edited) Jon, I feel like this a dishonest post. Did you really just want to tell us that you're throwing out your ex's stuff? Edited August 1, 2015 by SycamoreCircle Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 Jon, I feel like this a dishonest post. Did you really just want to tell us that you're throwing out your ex's stuff? No not really, I just wonder why people say this bull****. My friends told me no matter how upset I am to never delete our photos because i'll regret it in the long run. I think I will regret the relationship more than anything in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 No not really, I just wonder why people say this bull****. My friends told me no matter how upset I am to never delete our photos because i'll regret it in the long run. I think I will regret the relationship more than anything in the long run. Because your friends are right and you are wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 Because your friends are right and you are wrong. My friends are stupid they should take their own advice lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 Whew! Not that my opinion matters but I'm glad you repurposed the watch & gave it a good home away from you. I was cringing to think you threw it out. Getting the stuff out of your space is helpful. As Elaine pointed out some of the pictures are about you so deleting them isn't always the answer. I would put them in a box for about a year, then sort them out when the acute emotions had died down. So I do still have pictures from trips I took with my EX but I did throw out the couple-y ones & kept the ones of me & the scenery. Digitally I'd store them on a thumb drive or a file in a cloud just so you don't have to see them routinely now. I just don't see the point in that. I never went anywhere special with her and I sure as hell don't want to remember her. I don't mind deleting the last 4 years of my life, I think I can take that hit for what it's worth. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 I just don't see the point in that. I never went anywhere special with her and I sure as hell don't want to remember her. I don't mind deleting the last 4 years of my life, I think I can take that hit for what it's worth. In case you may be wrong put them away 1st. When you are emotionally ready, no sooner then a year from now, pull them out & go through them. Even if there are only 1-2 you want to keep before chucking the rest, don't make hasty decisions that you can not undo while in an emotional state. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 In case you may be wrong put them away 1st. When you are emotionally ready, no sooner then a year from now, pull them out & go through them. Even if there are only 1-2 you want to keep before chucking the rest, don't make hasty decisions that you can not undo while in an emotional state. It's too late now they're all gone. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 No not really, I just wonder why people say this bull****. My friends told me no matter how upset I am to never delete our photos because i'll regret it in the long run. I think I will regret the relationship more than anything in the long run.Ah, I see. I misunderstood your title which I think has a typo..."shouldn't", right? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 Ah, I see. I misunderstood your title which I think has a typo..."shouldn't", right? Ah Yes, that is a typo. Sorry, I wrote this late last night lol Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 (edited) I think photos are overrated in general personally. I have a memory -- I can remember things on my own without needing a picture of it. I'd say 99 percent of the photos I've been in in my life were taken by other people for their benefit. Therefore I agree with you -- delete the suckers. Anything you want to remember (and some stuff you don't) is already stored in your memory anyway. The only things I kept of my ex was a pair of sunglasses she bought me, simply because they were really good sunglasses that looked good on me. I kept those for about a year until I lost them at a wedding and bought another pair. Edited August 1, 2015 by Simon Phoenix Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I got rid of everything that she got me, some things that remind me of her, but not everything I bought when I was with her. We went into the city to see the Christmas tree every year, and I have a few things I've kept. She didn't buy them for me, I just bought them while I was with her that day, so I don't think I need to get rid of them. Every picture of her is gone. Every gift she gave me is gone, all of the clothes she gave me are gone. I gave some shirts that she didn't get me, but I wore on a certain date with her to my brother. For some reason they still gave me an uneasy feeling. I realize that I go overboard when it comes to this, but it's what's best for me. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 This is often a topic on this site and I've gone both ways in how to handle it. Sometimes I think "what's the point" in keeping photo's of an ex and the places we went together". Then I think, why not keep them for when I'm old and in my rocking chair. When my last ex and I ended, I did delete all texts and pictures on my phone. I then wiped my computer clean of all photo's of her but did keep the pictures of the places we went together or of me only at those places. I can't recall any specific gifts she bought me but the things I know we got together hit the trash can as none were of any real value. I found a $50 dollar pair of her sunglasses and enjoyed breaking them up as they went into the trash can.. lol. I then discovered a memory stick with all the pictures I backed up from my computer before we broke up. I said screw it and kept the memory stick. It's upstairs in the attic, out of the way. I have no desire to see it anytime in the near future. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 I always throw out exes stuff, its freeing. Why keep it? All it does is reminds us what scumbags they are. Link to post Share on other sites
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