When will this pain stop?

[xpaperxcutx]

I told myself I would never say anything bad about my ex especially since I follow a religion and belief that I should always be kind to those who has hurt, but sometimes I really want to let all of my anger out. And then I couldn't, because I felt like I was committing a sin.

 

I try very hard in the past 7 months to let go, but I have never felt so sad in my life. I have what is called complicated grief, a very prolonged grieving period wherein I just try to rehash everything about my past relationship and thinking about how much everything is my fault. I put myself down incessantly and constantly feel like I'm not good enough for him or anybody for that matter.

 

It hurts.

 

I am constantly running away from issues and this particular issue makes me want to just do everything possible to forget even if it means doing something like hooking up with a random stranger. But I have held myself back. I've been celibate and I find sex incredibly sickening. :sick::sick:

 

I don't want this kind of pain for anyone.

[erklat]

You can't be worse than I was. I lived in a world of false hope for so long I lost myself. I couldn't

keep track of what I changed in my life hoping she would change her mind. In the end, the only

thing that changed was - me. In the end small amount of sadness will always be there and a scar

where your plans were. And in my case inability to fall in love again. In 10 days will be a full year

since I had a last panic attack I could attribute to my breakup.

 

So you have been in sexless relationship? For me religion is lack of critical reasoning. The only

thing that will Help you achieve something is to do something about it. The way you have been

doing it obviously doesn't cut it .

[xpaperxcutx]

You can't be worse than I was. I lived in a world of false hope for so long I lost myself. I couldn't

keep track of what I changed in my life hoping she would change her mind. In the end, the only

thing that changed was - me. In the end small amount of sadness will always be there and a scar

where your plans were. And in my case inability to fall in love again. In 10 days will be a full year

since I had a last panic attack I could attribute to my breakup.

 

So you have been in sexless relationship? For me religion is lack of critical reasoning. The only

thing that will Help you achieve something is to do something about it. The way you have been

doing it obviously doesn't cut it .

 

We didn't have a sexless relationship. He dumped me after our last time together, and left me for another woman.

 

I've tried dating other people, tried focusing on myself, but at the end of the day, he creeps back into my thoughts.

 

I feel so hopeless sometimes, like why am I hung on a guy like that? I loved him so much. I was planning for our future. And all his friends all stuck up with him and abandoned me in the end.

 

I remember I cried so much I thought I would never stop. Nowadays, I feel like all I do is go along with each day, not fully living it the way I should. He has left me but I still give him so much power over me.