steve5678 Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 (edited) I was recently very forward and showed a lot of disappointment towards my ex. for the decision she made to leave me while I was gone. I'm feeling bad about the comments because I know it hurt her. My relationship with my ex. ended a few months ago. We dated for 6 months before I had to leave the country for work for 9 months. Eventually we broke up because she couldn't handle me being away and she had reemerging feelings for her ex boyfriend back home. Feelings that I knew existed when we first dated but seeing how they had been broken up for over 2 years I didn't think it would become an issue and she told me she was finished with him. When we broke up, 10 months later, she was honest, citing that she couldn't love me like I love her when she still had feelings for him even though she said she thought I was the one. A few months later, I reengaged the topic relentlessly for a few days through messenger trying to understand the girl I thought I knew and to tell her how I felt. I told her that her irrational fixation on a relationship from 2 years ago will severely confine her ability to have a healthy relationship. That she loved the feeling she got from the relationship with the ex., not necessarily the person who she broke up with. I eventually told her I was upset that I was so wrong about her. That she was not the emotionally strong woman I thought she was and that she was emotionally dependent on him. I told her that it's ridiculous to say that if you cannot have him you'd rather be alone for the rest of your life. I wanted to be brutally honest with her because I was hoping that she would realize what she had with us. It's been a week since I messaged her and I feel bad because I know she took everything I said as being mean and nasty. I'm not that type of person, however, I was very hurt that after everything she could just up and leave me. Not because the relationship was broken, but because of old feelings for someone else. I'm thinking about contacting her and apologizing to her for being relentless and to let her know I just wanted to understand how she felt. There is no intent to get back with her, I just feel bad hurting the person I was in love with. I don't like leaving things in bad blood. I don't know if I'm thinking like a nice guy, not trying to have bad blood... but I also think that maybe being mean is deserved to an extent. Is apologizing a good idea? Edited July 24, 2015 by steve5678 Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 you weren't in love.. and break ups happen and stop talking to her. leave her alone Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 Do you apologize when someone punches you in the face ? She emotionally cheated and dumped you. Whatever you did was made from the place of pain she put you in . Don't ever say hi to her agin and live a damn good life . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author steve5678 Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 you weren't in love.. and break ups happen and stop talking to her. leave her alone Why do you say I wasn't in love? Honestly I don't think I was in love either, but I wanted to be in love with her... I'm not sure if I was held back because of the red flag of her interactions with her ex. or some other personal qualities things that made me questions whether I could be in a lasting relationship with her. Either way the circumstances of the breakup and her going back to her ex bothered me. Do you apologize when someone punches you in the face ? She emotionally cheated and dumped you. Whatever you did was made from the place of pain she put you in . Don't ever say hi to her agin and live a damn good life . I agree with you, I'm just concerned that I'm upset with myself for telling her how hurt I felt, how I told her I was wrong about her, and how her thought process is twisted and she's setting herself up for failure. I guess I'm held up because she was very honest, told me that she thinks something is wrong with her mentally when it comes to relationships (after we broke up). That she had truly tried to get over him for over 2 years, but still failed to do so. At the same time, she did give up on us to have another shot with him. I guess I wanted some feedback about whether I went too far to tell her all those things she took as me being mean. Whether it was just or if it is something that warrants an apology. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Listen, not to be mean but.. you're looking for someone to validate you continuing to find reasons to contact her again.. Leave her alone. It doesn't matter what you said then. Let her and that R/S go. If you keep contacting her, you're going to look REALLY pathetic, clingy, needy and desperate. She may even thing you're crossing over into the obsessed/stalker category. Don't do it. We all say and do things after a break up that we regret. We've all bought that ground.. Now, learn from it, vanish from her life and you'll be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
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