How to Mourn and Grieve

[SycamoreCircle]

It's perfectly natural, perfectly healthy to mourn and grieve. The problem lies in resisting allowing our perception of the pain to balloon into total dimensions, into impossible terms. Using statements that rule out any other possibility, that define ourselves as only this or that, that define other people as only this or that. This is regressive behavior. It's the child. An adult should be capable of eventually shedding this childish perception of the world. It's an egotistical perception where my pain is so unique, it cannot be processed by the rest of the world. I am incurable. I am lost. No one can love me. Never. It is the obverse of I am better than everyone else. Conceit. If I finally did accept that I was like everyone else, that would mean I would have to function normally, happily like everyone else. This is why they say the first 12 seconds of a BU are painful and everything after that is self-inflicted.

[NopeNah]

First 12 seconds are nothing to the first twelve days. I'm glad I'm far past those(Booze,vodka,drug filled "numbing" days.. I'm back to NEVER going there again...Fun? Ehh...debatable. Helpful? Hell no! F'em and step. Simple.

[jen1447]

It's perfectly natural, perfectly healthy to mourn and grieve. The problem lies in resisting allowing our perception of the pain to balloon into total dimensions, into impossible terms. Using statements that rule out any other possibility, that define ourselves as only this or that, that define other people as only this or that. This is regressive behavior. It's the child. An adult should be capable of eventually shedding this childish perception of the world. It's an egotistical perception where my pain is so unique, it cannot be processed by the rest of the world. I am incurable. I am lost. No one can love me. Never. It is the obverse of I am better than everyone else. Conceit. If I finally did accept that I was like everyone else, that would mean I would have to function normally, happily like everyone else. This is why they say the first 12 seconds of a BU are painful and everything after that is self-inflicted.

 

One caveat to that is that I do believe ppl experience pain differently, and some more harshly than others. So even without the ego, I think there could be pain that no one else understands.

[SycamoreCircle]

That may be true. And some people, people who have traveled to the other side of suicide for example, will never again use the muscle that pulls us out of absolutes and infantile behavior. But it's not because they never knew how.

 

I have to believe that Robin Williams went to dark, low places before in his life and pulled himself, at least temporarily, back into the light.