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Finished...Finito..All done.


loveiswar101

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loveiswar101

Many might not know but ivé been on and of with a woman for 3 years. Loved her more than anything, but my emotions got the best of me at times, this shone through when not getting attention and thus needy clingy and not vey attractive.

 

Anyhow 5 months or so we B/U. 3 months ago we decided to go on the holiday we had planned overseas open mnded etc. After an amazing time together with kudos and all we come back and boom just wants to be friends.

 

I say no and after a week or so of begging go NC. 2 weeks ago she texts tosee if want to go coffee I say dinner and we caught up last Tuesday. I really thought see might have something to say but we jut hung out like an old married couple, laughing, touching but nothing about the past and whats ahead. Walk her to her car, full kiss and she talk about catching up on my birthday (2 months away), i say it's hard and told her I think she knows what I feel about her and friends wont work. She then said why we catch up and I said she asked me too and she goes did I like she cant remember. mmm

 

She texts saying she had a lovely evening, thanked me for dinner and that I looked good.

 

I think hard and believe I can't stay in limbo much longer and return text that I would love to try again with her. She replies a straight no and sorry. She states that she enjoys my company immensely but friends again is all she can offer.

 

Now this is where I say that's it, finish, finito. I not into blocking numbers etc, isn't not me (yes tell off I know) anyhow I think about it and damn well am 100% she will text on B'day. More pain.

 

So I finally believe this is the end.e. I text saying I have had a lovely time with her over the years, meeting up set me back with my healing and that no contact here in is the way to go, including b'day and xmas messages. Wish her well and if she ever wants to discuss us and maybe getting back together she can get hold of me but only for that and nothing more. I really thought she would of atleast replied with something but guess I mean nothing to her now.

 

But one thing I have now from before is direction (moving forward alone) with no hope of us, where before that hope would really fog my emotions.

 

So again I start NC and move forward, I know i'm better now than 2 months back, there been no tears, no break down like before. But thoughts have flowed again...here we go again. LOL

 

Any how just venting, reply if have any advice.

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I don't really have much advice as I'm just in my healing process too. I just moved away from ex finally as of a week ago. I'm still struggling but I'm finally giving myself the gift of NC.

 

For me, clarity is so key. It resonated with me when you said that at least you now have a direction, even if you now know it is alone. I think that's pretty powerful. The last six months or so, I've been giving my ex his space and he seems to be having a pretty fun time of it. However, on my end, I've been miserable and just 'waiting for him to see'.

 

While the move and transition has been difficult and far from perfect, it's been a bit empowering to say that this is a decision I'm making and in a way, I'm taking my power back. Wishing you well in your healing.

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Until you take back some resemblance of control in this now past R/S with her, nothing's going to change. You're going to keep hurting and struggling and be mired in this for months and months.

 

 

You've always allowed her to do whatever she wants w/really no consequences for her actions or behaviors. She doesn't want you in her life as her romantic partner but at her whim, she wants you around as a fall back or plan b. You keep allowing it.

 

 

You need to say enough once and for all. Grab your pride back and don't be her door mat any longer. You want to move on and heal? Vanish from her life and have no further contact w/her. Ignore any further contact from her. Let her experience what life is w/out you. In the mean time, you'll heal from this dysfunctional, toxic relationship.

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loveiswar101

Aloneinaz has HIT it right on the nail, i need to just say enough is enough, toxic is the only way to put in prospective.

 

I'm done, she will never hear from me again and hopefully I will never hear from her.

 

I was doing so well until I agreed to meet up but you are right im there as a fall back when needed. I honestly think she loves my company (i love hers) but she does not want me romantically anymore and I guess that's where I struggle, especially after going overseas together. Now when she does contact I crumble. I need to set boundaries just as Praying4Daylight says and as time goes on I hopefully will heal and forget.

 

Thank you for you honest and kind comments all.

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Aloneinaz has HIT it right on the nail, i need to just say enough is enough, toxic is the only way to put in prospective.

 

I'm done, she will never hear from me again and hopefully I will never hear from her.

 

I was doing so well until I agreed to meet up but you are right im there as a fall back when needed. I honestly think she loves my company (i love hers) but she does not want me romantically anymore and I guess that's where I struggle, especially after going overseas together. Now when she does contact I crumble. I need to set boundaries just as Praying4Daylight says and as time goes on I hopefully will heal and forget.

 

Thank you for you honest and kind comments all.

 

 

You don't need boundaries, you need to vanish from her life. Block her on all social media. Don't reply to any contact from her. Let her get a clear picture of life w/out you in any form. She doesn't want to be your GF which is her right. It's also your right to not want to be her emotional blanket and fall back guy. Most people who've gone thru a break up before would never stay in contact w/anyone who dumped them. They know it only keeps them in pain and prevents healing.

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