Kel_star Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 (edited) Has anyone tried doing this to get over their ex? I have been obsessing over them for like 8 months. A couple weeks ago I completely cut them out from my life and the pain was even worse than in the beginning. 3 days ago I started this " trick" and it's almost unreal how great it's working lol. Everytime a thought of them pops up, I think about something bad, and I keep adding to the list. For example : thought pops up: I immediately remind myself of how they often had bad breath so I just say "that bad breath person!'' and that makes me think about the moments where i was disturbed by this issue. Then I added to list and today I say bad breath, bitter person... and that makes me think of a mixture of the times they were boring and bitter/ had bad breath. It's kind of a funny way, and I admit, may be IMMATURE, but it's working!! Now when I start thinking of them, I'm getting bad connotations. Not only that, most of the thoughts that crreep up in my mind are like nostalgic sad/ good thoughts, so when I interrupt my mind from dwelling on those thoughts and replace them with bad thoughts, it makes me think about them less in general!!In the past, I've had so many moments of I finally think I'm getting over it, but then moments of sadness come back, but I really think this idea is a keeper. I've even been able to listen to songs I avoided. What do you guys think of this idea? Edited June 29, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 (edited) It's called NLP (Neuro-Linguistics Programming). It's definitely a good strategy to use to get over your ex. You're associating all their bad qualities with the memories you have of them. I find this to be difficult me. I can't find too many bad aspects of my ex that would make me dislike them. Did your ex have bad breath or is that just something you place on them to help you move on easier? Edited June 29, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kel_star Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 I never thought I could date someone with bad breath, and I remember in the beginning it was a little off- putting, but because I liked them so much I got to the point it really didn't bother me almost at all (I still didnt like it in other people) but now I'm being more real with myself and it really still is a major turn off. I feel like everybody should have at least one small bad thing , that you could exaggerate in your mind. Like this person licked my face once and I could smell it for quite some time even after I washed my face, lol I have also been replaying that in my mind a lot as part of the bad breath and it was a one time occurrence only. Thank you for telling me it's an official thing, makes me more excited. Link to post Share on other sites
Yummm Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 I agree with Jonp - I find it hard to assosicate her with any bad memories apart from the fact that she was emotionally unstable and could drop me like a fly. That's more than enough for me. Flipping the coins to look at my needs also helps: This 'perfect' woman works 2 minutes from me, I see her everyday, loved her morals and her family, loved everything about her, planned a family and future together and now she's gone. We could have been the perfect match. Her beautiful smile and blue eyes are now just a distant memory... My self worth is gone, I feel like I will never find someone again, I'm useless, blablabla... Dreadful thought right? Look what happens when I flip it around: This woman who I gave my all to, said and did things that only someone who was emotionally unstable would do, lead me to believe that things would be forever. Treated me and my family in a way that she would be the one, got scared and dropped me like a fly. She's a coward, she even had the audacity to try tell me 'you need somebody who can look after you' and originally tried to dump me via phone call. Somebody emotionally unstable like that and so quick to run away has some serious issues and I don't need them in my life. I gave my all, I have my whole life ahead of me, am good looking, healthy and will find somebody with the qualities that I WANT AND NEED and somebody who will not run away at the first sign of problems. *Phew*, suddenly I feel a whole lot better. Power of the mind! Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 (edited) I never thought I could date someone with bad breath, and I remember in the beginning it was a little off- putting, but because I liked them so much I got to the point it really didn't bother me almost at all (I still didnt like it in other people) but now I'm being more real with myself and it really still is a major turn off. I feel like everybody should have at least one small bad thing , that you could exaggerate in your mind. Like this person licked my face once and I could smell it for quite some time even after I washed my face, lol I have also been replaying that in my mind a lot as part of the bad breath and it was a one time occurrence only. Thank you for telling me it's an official thing, makes me more excited. My ex had dermatitis and she couldn't wear make-up because of it. In the summer when it got really hot she would get these horrible outbreaks, but I accepted it, it didn't bother me due to the love I had for her. Besides, despite not being able to wear make-up she had a natural beauty to her so she didn't need it. So I can't use that. She also had these small saggy tits, horrible stretch marks, and I liked her fat butt, but she had cellulite all over them. Even those things I didn't mind, I feel ****ed up for zoning in on them to use as fuel for my developing indifference. Plus she took pretty good care of herself despite all that. Edited June 29, 2015 by Jonp219 1 Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 As a sensitive person and a logical person, I know some relationships are not going to work out, and that it might be for the better. I usually don't hold it against a person if they want something else. dating is a trial period and not a commitment. I feel that many people make leaving a war, when it doesn't need to be. Love me, or Leave me. I find it easy to get over exes by not being involved in their lives. Most everyone I meet moves on... c'est la vie! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
15Love Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 My ex had dermatitis and she couldn't wear make-up because of it. In the summer when it got really hot she would get these horrible outbreaks, but I accepted it, it didn't bother me due to the love I had for her. Besides, despite not being able to wear make-up she had a natural beauty to her so she didn't need it. So I can't use that. She also had these small saggy tits, horrible stretch marks, and I liked her fat butt, but she had cellulite all over them. Even those things I didn't mind, I feel ****ed up for zoning in on them to use as fuel for my developing indifference. Plus she took pretty good care of herself despite all that. Unfortunately that's my trouble...all his flaws, and he's got an extremely long list, just make me painfully aware that I didnt like him for anything he was, did, or looked like. It's the one thing that makes me question if that's not what love is supposed to feel like at least on my end. Who knows. It's annoying. I've made pages long lists. Nada. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kel_star Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 My ex had dermatitis and she couldn't wear make-up because of it. In the summer when it got really hot she would get these horrible outbreaks, but I accepted it, it didn't bother me due to the love I had for her. Besides, despite not being able to wear make-up she had a natural beauty to her so she didn't need it. So I can't use that. She also had these small saggy tits, horrible stretch marks, and I liked her fat butt, but she had cellulite all over them. Even those things I didn't mind, I feel ****ed up for zoning in on them to use as fuel for my developing indifference. Plus she took pretty good care of herself despite all that. at first, I had thought of this idea, but in a way, it was like blasphemy in my head, I didn't want to "defame" them in my head. I don't know how to explain it. Is that kind of what you mean by feeling ****ed up? But then I realized, screw it, they really are not all that!! I don't want to be bitter at all from this relationship, and because I genuinely am making it to be a funny thing in my head, I feel like this is a good way of going about it. But I understand you, they had a lot of acne that they were insecure about, but I genuinely didn't find it a turn off so it's hard to concentrate on that as a bad thing, even though I know it generally would be a turn off. Seems like a tough one Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kel_star Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 (edited) I agree with Jonp - I find it hard to assosicate her with any bad memories apart from the fact that she was emotionally unstable and could drop me like a fly. That's more than enough for me. Flipping the coins to look at my needs also helps: This 'perfect' woman works 2 minutes from me, I see her everyday, loved her morals and her family, loved everything about her, planned a family and future together and now she's gone. We could have been the perfect match. Her beautiful smile and blue eyes are now just a distant memory... My self worth is gone, I feel like I will never find someone again, I'm useless, blablabla... Dreadful thought right? Look what happens when I flip it around: This woman who I gave my all to, said and did things that only someone who was emotionally unstable would do, lead me to believe that things would be forever. Treated me and my family in a way that she would be the one, got scared and dropped me like a fly. She's a coward, she even had the audacity to try tell me 'you need somebody who can look after you' and originally tried to dump me via phone call. Somebody emotionally unstable like that and so quick to run away has some serious issues and I don't need them in my life. I gave my all, I have my whole life ahead of me, am good looking, healthy and will find somebody with the qualities that I WANT AND NEED and somebody who will not run away at the first sign of problems. *Phew*, suddenly I feel a whole lot better. Power of the mind! your situation seems pretty similar to mine, even the stupid blue eyes lol thanks! I feel like the major shift in our relationship happened when they made a mistake and I made it seem I was ready to cut it off with them ( which I kind of was because it was kind of a big deal) I think it made them realize how vulnerable they were and they shut off. I don't regret threatening the event, because i feel like if that caused them to shut off, thank God I escaped such an insecure , scared of getting hurt person now rather than years down the road. This person was scared of getting left, so they convinced themselves to be the one that wanted to leave on their accord. Edited June 29, 2015 by Kel_star Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 at first, I had thought of this idea, but in a way, it was like blasphemy in my head, I didn't want to "defame" them in my head. I don't know how to explain it. Is that kind of what you mean by feeling ****ed up? But then I realized, screw it, they really are not all that!! I don't want to be bitter at all from this relationship, and because I genuinely am making it to be a funny thing in my head, I feel like this is a good way of going about it. But I understand you, they had a lot of acne that they were insecure about, but I genuinely didn't find it a turn off so it's hard to concentrate on that as a bad thing, even though I know it generally would be a turn off. Seems like a tough one Yeah, that's exactly what I mean by ****ed up. Now her personality is a different story. If I could find a few things that annoyed me about her personality then I wouldn't feel bad about zoning in on those things. Only list I could come up with is this: -Rarely affectionate -Doesn't like to talk much (expects me to do most of the talking) -Cold towards her family (although understandable) -All her friends are passionate about their path in life, but she was a deer in the head lights -There aren't too many things that are important to her. Link to post Share on other sites
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