Jump to content

Breadcrumbs???


DinnerForOne

Recommended Posts

DinnerForOne

Brief history. Husband of 10 years has partially moved out. Don't know where he has gone. He did not take everything with him, for instance there are still a few clothes left in the cupboard etc.

 

He started moving out on Thursday last week and has had to "pop-in" on two or three occassions since then to take more stuff.

 

I make absolutely sure I am not here when he comes around.

 

This is how yesterday's "pop-in" session went.

 

On Wednesday he was asking about a time to come and collect more stuff:

 

Wednesday:

 

Husband: How would tomorrow be. Lunch time at 12:30?

 

Me: OK

 

Thursday:

 

Husband: Will be there around 1

 

Husband: I left at 20 past 1..

 

Friday:

 

Husband: I put some money in the account in case you need "x y z" and if you need "y" you can get it at "ABC Store.

 

I have not responded to any of the messages. Are these "breadcrumbs"? or am I just hoping they are?

 

Should I send a text back saying: Tks

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
DinnerForOne

I have not responded to his message that was sent an hour ago... so now I get this:

 

"Hi, did you get my sms?"

 

What to do, what to do..... I switched my phone off.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Ijustdon'tgetit

Read "If you want them back" by LifeGoesOnMan in the second chances section. Your silence is the best weapon. It's your best chance at healing. Continue ignoring him. :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
La.Primavera

I read your previous thread. It sounds like he never really had your back like a good husband should. To be frank, he put you through hell and then turned his back when you needed him most.

 

Saying he put money in the account for x y z sounds like an attempt to seem like the good guy. I don't buy it. Ask yourself if it would make a difference if he was sending you those texts from the ex girlfriends house? It isn't a stretch considering you have no idea where he is staying and already suspect he spent the night in a hotel with her.

 

Of course you are hoping he is reaching out because he misses you and wants to get back together. Maybe he does, or maybe he wants to keep your attention for purely selfish reasons (his ego) making it harder for you to move on. It is obvious you love him and never wanted things to end up this way. It's understandable, you committed 10 years to this man and his baggage keeps getting heavier and it is weighing you down. That doesn't seem to bother him at all.

 

If you want less stress and heartbreak in your life then you should keep away from him like you have been doing, giving yourself time to heal and move on. Maybe re-read what you wrote previously about your relationship. A healthy, happy relationship shouldn't be that way.

 

At the end of the day this has to be your decision. One that will make you happiest long term.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
La.Primavera
I've just sent back a text: Tks

 

I fed the "monster" - Aaaargh

 

It isn't too late. You can choose to starve the monster in future if you want. Remember you are in control of this.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
DinnerForOne
.....Saying he put money in the account for x y z sounds like an attempt to seem like the good guy.

 

I agree with this statement.

 

Obviously I have not ANNOUNCED that I am going NC. I don't think anyone ever should. But sooner or later he will get the message. And if he does want back in I will accept nothing less than:

 

"I am dealing with my issues with a therapist and I am commited to seeking MC with you because I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

 

If however he has strayed at anytime before our divorce is final. I*will*Not* even consider taking him back.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...