pa888 Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Hi peeps! Just an update on how I'm doing and maybe some personal tips of mine to help others who may be going through a break up... Welp yesterday was day 60 of no contact (yay!) and I'm feeling better every day. I'm still having emotional bits of crying every other, other day, but sometimes I feel like when it's coming I force it to come. I know that as soon as I let it hit me the sooner I'll feel better. And it only lasts for a few minutes. I've also kept my workout regimen going strong, I do a lot of cardio and I can bench press 30 lbs! (For a chick I think that's pretty good ) I also scored an amazing summer internship with a great company in my field, and it's near my hometown so I'll be home this summer with the parents. I guess I just had a comment about all the posts online about breakups that's been eating away at me. If you're like me and coming to terms with being a "dumpee" you've probably been googling all the forums out there about breakups and if they'll come back and how to move on and yada yada yada. If you're really intense like me you'll even google things like "I broke up with my girlfriend and I regret it" just to get a perspective of what your ex might be thinking right now (yea it's pretty pathetic I know...). And I guess my advice for everyone in a break up would be to not take what's said in online forums, even this one, with more than a grain of salt. It will drive you INSANE. What you must do instead is DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT AND WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU. In the beginning these sites are helpful in cheering you up, because you will be ok in the long run. I am a firm believer that things will always work out in the end. Something I was upset about a long time ago recently sorted itself out when I no longer cared about it, and even my getting the internship came as a surprise as I was worrying about what I'd be doing this summer. What I noticed is that a lot of posts with valid arguments online will contradict other posts with just as valid of an argument. And trying to decide which one is right will drive you nuts. Some argue that you should cut out your ex immediately and stop contacting them, and never ever beg or lose your dignity (check). Others say this is too harsh and immature (uh oh, should I not have done that?). Some say to block and unfriend (well I did that because it hurt to see his profile..), others say this is closing the door to any form of reconciliation and is childish (but but it seemed like the right thing at the time). Some will say no ex ever regrets dumping someone. But what about all those stories online of getting back together? Well those are rare, except for the fact that most people have had an ex come back according to other posts Others will say that reconciliation will only lead to a failed relationship again, but then you can find those stories where a happy married couple went through a breakup and came back and led to a long lasting and happy sappy marriage? I guess the point I'm trying to make is... no one knows the answer to the dumpees' greatest questions. Everyone can make predictions about what can or can't happen but in the end you have control over what you make of it and your dumper has the control over what they do. Am I over my ex? No, it's only been two months, cut me some slack. But I am trying my best to move forward. I still want him back because I liked who he was as a person, but I know he may or may not come back and I'll be fine either way. Did I do something to ruin my chances of reconciliation? I don't know, we'll see how it pans out. Will he come back? Good question, only he has the answer though... So my piece of advice is to love yourself. Accept that this is a rough patch in your life and you will be ok. Base your actions on what is best for you and not on what you think the effect will be on your dumper Just my two cents, hope this helped somebody out My future goal for my situation: read less depressing breakup blogs and focus more on hobbies I enjoy and hanging out with friends What I have accomplished so far: I left with my dignity and did not beg or grovel. Most importantly I do not regret how I handled my situation, although I still wonder if my dumper has regrets (it would be the perfect scenario, wouldn't it?) 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pa888 Posted May 26, 2015 Author Share Posted May 26, 2015 I should however clarify that this doesn't mean "Oh I think begging for him/her back would be the right thing to do so I'll go full force..." Make sure you do things that is best for you and will not lead to more pain. Make sure you are thinking with your mind. You probably spent your entire relationship being there for your ex, now it is time to be there for yourself Link to post Share on other sites
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