na49 Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 I thought that being on vacation would be exactly what I needed to feel better about things. Time with my family, enjoying nice weather, and seeing different sights. My first day has been a nightmare though. I see couples everywhere, and really don't think I can take this anymore. All of the negative thoughts about never finding someone, and never being happy have come back, and won't go away. I don't have the strength to fight them either. Can anyone else relate to me on this? I'm seriously miserable, and putting on the best acting job in front of my family. I feel like crying. It's seriously pathetic... Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 I have experienced that before but I was alone. I don't enjoy vacationing alone, just highlights the fact that I'd like to share the experience with someone. I don't think I would experience that if I was with family or friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Simply changing locations ISN'T going to instantly heal you from a breakup! But it's still a great way to help ease you through while you're suffering -- being in a pretty place, having supportive people around you. You could do a lot worse. Here's a guide that will help you: http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com By the way... you WILL find someone new (in time).... you WILL be happy again (in time). Try to be patient with yourself. Lean on your family and also remember to give yourself some time alone to feel your feelings if they become overwhelming at times. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizrd3000 Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 I thought that being on vacation would be exactly what I needed to feel better about things. Time with my family, enjoying nice weather, and seeing different sights. My first day has been a nightmare though. I see couples everywhere, and really don't think I can take this anymore. All of the negative thoughts about never finding someone, and never being happy have come back, and won't go away. I don't have the strength to fight them either. Can anyone else relate to me on this? I'm seriously miserable, and putting on the best acting job in front of my family. I feel like crying. It's seriously pathetic... Man, I can relate so much. Sometimes I can put myself at ease with things like working out, but sometimes I'm just unable to shake it. I just ride those days out, but try to do the good things. I can relate though, so much. You just feel like there's nothing to you, youre just empty and not really alive inside. Hopeless, because your mind is trying to trick you into thinking that you'll never be happy unless you'll get her back. It used to be a good thing when we were still brainless cave citizens. so we'd avoid getting rejected, but now evolution has backfired on us, lmao. Anyways, I know you'll probably think I can't relate, but the feelings are really indescribeable, for me atleast. It feels like you'll never feel good again, and you can't remember the last time you've felt good. But I think that when you just work on yourself, become a better person with more to offer, things will fall into place. Life wouldn't be good if you didn't know how bad it could be. I really think you'll be fine, man. I keep a close eye to your thread ''That's all folks...'', and you're very similair to me as the things you feel, how your mind works etc. (IMO) I wish there was something to be said so your pain could be taken away, but only time and dedication to feeling good again will help relieve this pain you're feeling. REALLY work on trying to feel good again. Don't pity yourself, don't wallow in sad things, stop listening to music that makes you cry. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizrd3000 Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Also, going on a vacation with friends and family when I'm down, just reinforced my feelings of being alone. Its because you feel ****, you think youll feel better surrounded by other people, but you don't. Which in turn makes you feel lonelier. If you're like me, just do things for yourself. Don't become a hermit or something, but just realize that being by yourself is OK, if you feel that you're happier that way. If you can learn to be content when ''alone'' (not lonely), youll become a much happier person. Solitary isn't the same as being lonely. Sorry for the double post, but sometimes it wont let me edit a post. Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 I can sort of relate to this feeling right about now. Although I'm not on vacation, my friend and his family are. They went to Montreal and have been post pictures on Facebook ever since they got there. Me and my ex were suppose to go to Montreal this year, and I can't thinking how fun that would of been to enjoy that with her. It makes me feel more like a ****-up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted May 25, 2015 Author Share Posted May 25, 2015 My family is awesome, and I love being with them. I have had moments where just being with them has stopped these negative thoughts. Then they creep back, and just have been cutting through me. I've even felt suicidal the past few days, which is ridiculous. I want to be able to enjoy myself but it's impossible with couples being thrown in my face everywhere I go. There have been tons of things I wanted to tell my ex. I walked past stores knowing that I would have been buying her gifts if we were still together. I see things that she would have liked, and it just kills me. I want to feel good again.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted May 25, 2015 Author Share Posted May 25, 2015 Also, going on a vacation with friends and family when I'm down, just reinforced my feelings of being alone. Its because you feel ****, you think youll feel better surrounded by other people, but you don't. Which in turn makes you feel lonelier. This is exactly how I'm feeling right now. At least when I'm home, I've just been going to work, and working out when I get home. My friends have been busy for the most part, so I haven't seen them. Now I can't really do that though, I'm forced to be out, and forced to see happy people everywhere... I checked my school email for the first time in 5 days. I thought I'd get something from her, but I didn't. I should have figured because she has a new boyfriend. Stupid me still has hope.. Even when I know that a relationship between us would be a disaster. I'll take a dysfunctional relationship over no relationship because I'm that desperate right now. Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 I think weekends and holidays are the hardest, because there's just too much damn time to think. You get extra days off work/school, and when you're not spending time with friends/family, you're reminiscing or just all caught up in these stupid thoughts about the broken relationship. Plus, it is so beautiful outside and it would be nice to lay in the grass with someone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted May 25, 2015 Author Share Posted May 25, 2015 I think weekends and holidays are the hardest, because there's just too much damn time to think. You get extra days off work/school, and when you're not spending time with friends/family, you're reminiscing or just all caught up in these stupid thoughts about the broken relationship. Plus, it is so beautiful outside and it would be nice to lay in the grass with someone. Pretty much I try so hard not to let it bother me, but then I see couples holding hands and kissing, and I lose it. Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Pretty much I try so hard not to let it bother me, but then I see couples holding hands and kissing, and I lose it. Yeah. I'm sorry you're experiencing that. I have felt that way too, but on the contrary, there have been moments when I'm out and about and see couples and feel hopeful that I may one day achieve that. When I'm out and about, I'm okay for the most part, or at least the movement helps my mind not obsess so much. It's mostly in the evenings and during the weekends/holidays when I'm bored and my mind has time to wander, that some crazy sh/t goes down emotionally and I feel like I can't take it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted May 26, 2015 Author Share Posted May 26, 2015 Yeah. I'm sorry you're experiencing that. I have felt that way too, but on the contrary, there have been moments when I'm out and about and see couples and feel hopeful that I may one day achieve that. When I'm out and about, I'm okay for the most part, or at least the movement helps my mind not obsess so much. It's mostly in the evenings and during the weekends/holidays when I'm bored and my mind has time to wander, that some crazy sh/t goes down emotionally and I feel like I can't take it. Thanks, I do have moments of hope, but they are killed by thoughts that I will never find someone who I will love in that way, or who will love me the way I thought that she loved me. I've contemplated suicide, and if I didn't love my family so much, I probably would. It feels like I failed at whatever I was supposed to do, and now I get to be miserable the rest of my life. It's pretty sh*tty to admit this, but I have also seen couples and thought "well.. they are no more likely to stay together than I was with my ex. They might break up at some point too" Link to post Share on other sites
thekarmacist Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 i'm feeling your pain right now, na, and you and i seem to be on the same breakup schedule. hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Shift your focus in your mind, and the persecptive will follow along. I stopped dwelling on that one thing...and moved it to more positive aspirations. One being content with being a part of life, Not a person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted May 26, 2015 Author Share Posted May 26, 2015 Shifting my focus isn't easy when every couple is a reminder of how lonely I am. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted May 26, 2015 Author Share Posted May 26, 2015 I'm considering talking to my doctor to find out if I am depressed. I've felt crappy about myself for a long time, but have never been diagnosed with anything. All day today I have been thinking about suicide, and it's becoming annoying. I can't shake these thoughts. I feel like killing myself is a good idea because things don't look like they'll get better. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 if all you are doing is zooming in on "couples" , then yes you'll remain stuck. as earlier stated you are sitting in a tree zooming in on one leaf and not seeing the ground, clouds, mountains or anything else in your environment. Yes, seek counseling.. you might find it dissipates this stunned view. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 if all you are doing is zooming in on "couples" , then yes you'll remain stuck. as earlier stated you are sitting in a tree zooming in on one leaf and not seeing the ground, clouds, mountains or anything else in your environment. Yes, seek counseling.. you might find it dissipates this stunned view. I will try not to focus on the couples I see as much. Also, I went to counseling but never brought up my thoughts of suicide because if I did, I think that the counselor would have had to tell my parents, and I don't want to scare them. The thoughts also were not as bad as they are now. My family is the only reason I have to stay alive. If I was one of those people who didn't get along with his family, I'd probably just kill myself because I'd have no reason to continue. Link to post Share on other sites
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