I shouldn't?

[Calidude6]

So I broke NC....again, lol. Seems like I do once a month because I still care and I probably shouldn't. Anyways, it's finals week and I know how hard she's worked to get where she is and of course my caring self wants to wish her the best. So I simply txt her saying, "Good luck on your finals. Hope you ace them all." And that was it. A few hours later she replies back, "Thank you!!!!! :)".

 

I didn't reply back and typically I do but this time, I left it there as if I left it on a good note. But of course my mind wants to dig in deeper and wonder why she has to add the smiley face because she's never done that since the break up. Honestly, it kind of made me smile as if she was happy to hear that from me. Now, I want to tell her I miss her but I know cause it makes me look weak. Also, it's always best for them to text you first and that's what I want to do. It just takes a little strength not to say it to her cause I really want to. It's been 3 months and it's all fading away yet I miss her and wanted her to know that. I guess I shouldn't say it, right?

Edited May 19, 2015 by Calidude6

[KBarletta]

This is the same sort of exchange you've had with her a few times already, no? My feeling is that if she wanted it to become something more, she would have done more than say "thank you" when you text her - she would engage you in a more meaningful exchange. Saying thank you is just her being polite, IMO. I'd stick to NC if I were you.

 

That said, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with letting her know you miss her, but I certainly wouldn't expect anything to come of it. That's the danger, that you are still emotionally not ready for this and it will only hurt you more if you reach out further and get nothing back. I get the feeling that you are expecting something that is unlikely to come. That's why my advice would be to not respond.

[RoseHeart]

It's best not to contact your ex's but it's not a train smash IF it happens. You have to realize that there will be a point where you need to stop making a effort so that she can be the one who has to contact you first. I know it's easy to over think things (I do it as well, all the time) but a smiley face doesn't imply more than just that... a smiley face. I doubt there's a significant meaning behind it. If she wanted to send a message across she would have done so in words. Far far more words.

 

Do not tell her you miss her!! This is something you want to avoid doing. You must come across as a strong person who doesn't need her to make you happy. I know you might want that on the inside but she shouldn't know this as it makes you look like you cannot move on and that you're dependent on her. That is the worst message to bring across and you want to avoid this at all costs. So whatever you do ... do not mention missing her unless she actually tells you first that she misses you and even then think carefully if you want her to have the satisfaction of knowing you thought about her all the time. People want what they can't have in general. So that's the idea you want to bring across. Telling her how much you miss her isn't exactly charming then if you want to bring the idea across that you are unreachable for her.

[Satu]

Don't be too grateful for the smiley face.

 

Here: have one on the house

 

They don't mean much, if anything.

[Ruby65]

The problem isn't this one message.... the problem is that you're delaying your own healing by continuing to stay in limited contact.

 

Even if you resist the urge for the next few weeks, you're still just *WAITING*.... either for her to contact you again or until it's been long enough so it won't look too desperate if you send her another text.

 

Maybe you're just not ready to accept that you're broken up. But the sooner you can let go of denial, the sooner you can start to really heal... so you can move on and meet someone who DOES want to be your girlfriend.

[Itspointless]

Seems like I do once a month because I still care and I probably shouldn't.

Yes man you care, that is the hard part of it. It is beautiful you do, but hard. At a certain point we have to stop the nice gestures. It is that point that we begin to read messages from out of this world into smileys and burps. sorry man.

[Simon Phoenix]

The smiley face could simply mean "thanks for being a chump who freely gives moral support to a person who dumped them". Either way, all this is doing is keeping you in the muck and from accepting the reality that this is over.

[na49]

I don't think that the smiley face means that she wants to be your boyfriend. She probably sends smileys to all of her friends who wished her good luck on her finals

[Satu]

*It's been 3 months and it's all fading away yet I miss her and wanted her to know that. I guess I shouldn't say it, right?

 

Some people find it easier to detach than others. You seem to be one of the people that find it more difficult.

 

You'll get there in the end.

 

When you do, you'll realise that she's a perfectly normal, and unremarkable person.

[brokengirl85]

Wow a smiley face. Was it like this one:

Or maybe a laugh?

Or maybe what she wanted was to send you this but pressed the wrong button?

 

Let's all try to decipher what that smiley face meant! It has a hidden meaning for sure... Right? Not really sorry.

 

I'm going to be really harsh: that's not even a breadcrumb. She's so uninterested she hasn't even blocked you, or worse, asked you anything in return. So please, don't put yourself in that place where you beg for some attention. Go on with your life, move on, who cares how she's doing with her exams? Not your business after all.

[privategal]

It's ok. Bottom line you're a nice person and you didn't just coldly let go or act on ego and pretend you didn't care.

Low contact was what you did because it worked for you.

The smiley face was a good sign as she was being friendly.

The no follow through does clarify she's not in a place to want more.

Sooo..I think you held onto your dignity by not following up with more. You don't look desperate, you didn't push it.

At this point now, she needs to feel a clear void of you to feel your gone..she needs to miss you.

She cant if your still there.

You will be ok. You did a great job, only touched base a few times, she seems basically polite toward you so see that as a win and say nothing more and pat yourself on the back for being kind, taking the high road...and now go plan a summer vaca, some guy time, a new sports team...go underground and no reaching out. Let her see shes lost you for good.

Its hard I know...I know your lost without her...YOU find you...and let the universe and time do its thing.

Your ok. You will be fine!

[Calidude6]

It's ok. Bottom line you're a nice person and you didn't just coldly let go or act on ego and pretend you didn't care.

Low contact was what you did because it worked for you.

The smiley face was a good sign as she was being friendly.

The no follow through does clarify she's not in a place to want more.

Sooo..I think you held onto your dignity by not following up with more. You don't look desperate, you didn't push it.

At this point now, she needs to feel a clear void of you to feel your gone..she needs to miss you.

She cant if your still there.

You will be ok. You did a great job, only touched base a few times, she seems basically polite toward you so see that as a win and say nothing more and pat yourself on the back for being kind, taking the high road...and now go plan a summer vaca, some guy time, a new sports team...go underground and no reaching out. Let her see shes lost you for good.

Its hard I know...I know your lost without her...YOU find you...and let the universe and time do its thing.

Your ok. You will be fine!

 

Perfect!!! Thank you! 100% agreed. I just like leaving my last impression a good one for her memory. It's time for me to go and for her to fully know I'm gone and that she lost me.