Jonp219 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Like I was saying earlier in the year the warmer this weather becomes the more I long for her, the more I tend to break down into tears at home. I know it's still very early in the process, but lately I've just been losing myself a little. I hate my city, I hate the aura that resonates from it, the black smog lifting up to the sky from all the polluted minds that surround me every single day. Living in NYC you realize this isn't a place to find someone nice, build a family, or start a serious relationship. I know it's bitter and cynical talk, but until you've lived here you really have no room to talk. It's been 3 months post BU and I just want to find someone nice and jump back into something serious, i'm really craving commitment and companionship. I thought about doing cold approaches at school, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, I just don't know how to talk to women anymore (4 years out of the game will do that to you). I feel like i'm lacking so much right now, if guys who are in better positions than me can't find a girlfriend then I don't know what the **** i'm going to do! I'm sorry everyone, this is my first weak moment in quite a while and I just had to put it into words. I haven't felt inadequacy like this in over a month. Link to post Share on other sites
ephemeralme Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Like I was saying earlier in the year the warmer this weather becomes the more I long for her, the more I tend to break down into tears at home. I know it's still very early in the process, but lately I've just been losing myself a little. I hate my city, I hate the aura that resonates from it, the black smog lifting up to the sky from all the polluted minds that surround me every single day. Living in NYC you realize this isn't a place to find someone nice, build a family, or start a serious relationship. I know it's bitter and cynical talk, but until you've lived here you really have no room to talk. It's been 3 months post BU and I just want to find someone nice and jump back into something serious, i'm really craving commitment and companionship. I thought about doing cold approaches at school, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, I just don't know how to talk to women anymore (4 years out of the game will do that to you). I feel like i'm lacking so much right now, if guys who are in better positions than me can't find a girlfriend then I don't know what the **** i'm going to do! I'm sorry everyone, this is my first weak moment in quite a while and I just had to put it into words. I haven't felt inadequacy like this in over a month. awww, sorry..... to read that. it really isn't weakness though.... it is strength to allow yourself acknowledge it, to feel and to express it. warm weather is a trigger for many of us who shared and enjoyed the company, companionship and liveliness of the outdoors together.... a hummingbird showed today... THIS was always something I shared in joy with him.... today... I smiled, felt the joy.... but ... didn't have him to share it with. come to the country ( North East of NY).... the air is clean the people "salt of the earth" and the trees are budding. take care Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 NYC has to be a better place to meet people than where I live. The only men that ever hit on me are already married. Generally with children. I know cheating happens everywhere but it seems like my city has perfected it as an art form. I am just going to adopt another dog and call it a day. Dating is a waste of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 NYC has to be a better place to meet people than where I live. The only men that ever hit on me are already married. Generally with children. I know cheating happens everywhere but it seems like my city has perfected it as an art form. I am just going to adopt another dog and call it a day. Dating is a waste of time. NYC is a great place to meet people, but not if you're in search of a serious relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Familia Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 NYC has to be a better place to meet people than where I live. The only men that ever hit on me are already married. Generally with children. I know cheating happens everywhere but it seems like my city has perfected it as an art form. I am just going to adopt another dog and call it a day. Dating is a waste of time. Where are you located ? remind me not to visit when I come on a holiday, lol although I just might be the one not married man looking for love in your town hahaha 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Lol. I have you ALL beat as far as dating goes. The clue is in my name. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 Lol. I have you ALL beat as far as dating goes. The clue is in my name. lol Are you from Wyoming? Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Yippy Ki yay... (hat nod) Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Where are you located ? remind me not to visit when I come on a holiday, lol although I just might be the one not married man looking for love in your town hahaha You won't find love in arizona. You might find an std though or a kid you never knew you fathered. Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Lol. I have you ALL beat as far as dating goes. The clue is in my name. lol There has to be some hot cowgirls or something in wy. My dad LOVES wy. Says it's the best state he's visited. I find that very hard to believe. But to each their own. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 You won't find love in arizona. You might find an std though or a kid you never knew you fathered. Arizona has the highest infidelity rate amongst all 50 states. I remember reading it somewhere a while back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 Yippy Ki yay... (hat nod) How bad is the dating scene over there? lol Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Arizona has the highest infidelity rate amongst all 50 states. I remember reading it somewhere a while back. I work in sales. I would say 90% of my male clients have cheating hearts. The women aren't much better. It's like everyone is on a mission to f-ck over as many people as possible so we can all live together and be miserable. One of the reasons I liked my ex was because he didn't seem at all capable of cheating. Irony abounds. Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) There has to be some hot cowgirls or something in wy. My dad LOVES wy. Says it's the best state he's visited. I find that very hard to believe. But to each their own. No. Where I live is the divorce capital of the United States. There aren't any hot cowgirls here and if there are, they are all married and settled down. I'm in my later 30's and as you get older, all of the really secure people are already attached and happily living their lives. My ex, I'm just being honest, was damn smokin' in the looks and intelligence part so she has already been swept up. Of course, she's also cold and distant and didn't treat me right and my father, while he was dying of cancer told me "please don't marry this woman." The women out here who are attractive and single have a "big fish in a small pond" mentality. It sucks but what can you do about it eh? *shrug* lol Edited May 5, 2015 by fireflywy Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 No. Where I live is the divorce capital of the United States. There aren't any hot cowgirls here and if there are, they are all married and settled down. I'm in my later 30's and as you get older, all of the really secure people are already attached and happily living their lives. My ex, I'm just being honest, was damn smokin' in the looks and intelligence part so she has already been swept up. Of course, she's also cold and distant and didn't treat me right. The women out here who are attractive and single have a "big fish in a small pond" mentality. It sucks but what can you do about it eh? *shrug* lol Maybe I need to move to Wyoming. Link to post Share on other sites
Hawaii51 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 @OP there are certain places that vibrate higher, you should find one of those places. sidenote- I'm really not a fan of the northern hemisphere. You portray the characteristics of a sensitive individual, an empath. Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Maybe I need to move to Wyoming. If you do, and you're marginally attractive, please, please, PLEASE don't swim in that pond! lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 I work in sales. I would say 90% of my male clients have cheating hearts. The women aren't much better. It's like everyone is on a mission to f-ck over as many people as possible so we can all live together and be miserable. One of the reasons I liked my ex was because he didn't seem at all capable of cheating. Irony abounds. I wonder why cheating is so prevalent over there... I have family out in Arizona. My older cousin cheat on his wife from time to time. He's a recording artist, so women throw themselves at him all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) @OP there are certain places that vibrate higher, you should find one of those places. sidenote- I'm really not a fan of the northern hemisphere. You portray the characteristics of a sensitive individual, an empath. I've always known I was an empath. I can't help it, I've been like this since I was little, it's hardwired into me. It's not something I would want to change either, it's what truly makes me me. Edited May 5, 2015 by Jonp219 2 Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 If you do, and you're marginally attractive, please, please, PLEASE don't swim in that pond! lol I would classify myself as more than marginally attractive. But why may I not swim in that pond? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I wonder why cheating is so prevalent over there... I have family out in Arizona. My older cousin cheat on his wife from time to time. He's a recording artist, so women throw themselves at him all the time. I have theories on why cheating is so prevalent over here. I won't bore you with it though. I will say people out here are nuts. And that feelings are something to take advantage of. It's like a battle. See who can cause who the most damage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) Has anyone ever felt bad when they start to forget their ex? I haven't forgotten her, the way she made me feel still lingers on till this day, but the image of her is fading everyday. Does it make you feel guilty when you start to forget them? I know I shouldn't but I do. Part of that may be because I still haven't FULLY forgiven myself. My (Our) communication killed the relationship and I feel fully responsible for it. Edited May 5, 2015 by Jonp219 Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I would classify myself as more than marginally attractive. But why may I not swim in that pond? Well you can swim in the pond, just don't let it go to your head and thus lose your heart and perspective. So many women here, because there is no competition sometimes, become total witches with swelled heads and they treat people terribly. They go from heart and right perspective about what matters in love and life and become shallower then 5 minute rain puddles. Link to post Share on other sites
TrevorDia Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Like I was saying earlier in the year the warmer this weather becomes the more I long for her, the more I tend to break down into tears at home. I know it's still very early in the process, but lately I've just been losing myself a little. I hate my city, I hate the aura that resonates from it, the black smog lifting up to the sky from all the polluted minds that surround me every single day. Living in NYC you realize this isn't a place to find someone nice, build a family, or start a serious relationship. I know it's bitter and cynical talk, but until you've lived here you really have no room to talk. It's been 3 months post BU and I just want to find someone nice and jump back into something serious, i'm really craving commitment and companionship. I thought about doing cold approaches at school, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, I just don't know how to talk to women anymore (4 years out of the game will do that to you). I feel like i'm lacking so much right now, if guys who are in better positions than me can't find a girlfriend then I don't know what the **** i'm going to do! I'm sorry everyone, this is my first weak moment in quite a while and I just had to put it into words. I haven't felt inadequacy like this in over a month. Hey, at least NYC has a wide and diverse range of people to peruse. I live in some rinky dink village out in the middle of Yorkshire in England. This place is basically middle-earth. The only contact I have with the fairer sex anymore is when I'm questioning them as witnesses to crimes. And I'm only 24! My ex has really screwed me up though, and it's got to a point where I don't even remember how to talk to women anymore. Call it dumb, but I'd love to have a girlfriend right now - just someone I can spend time with and care about. But I know I have around a 0% chance of getting anything like that in the next year or two. I think I might just become some weird old miser that local kids make rumours about. Like the old guy in Home Alone 2. - If any of you have any tips, feel free to interject :/ On a positive note, at least I'm thinking about my ex a little less every day. But then, it's only been 2 weeks of NC, so it could be a while Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I live pretty close to NYC, and I believe that we are in a better position to meet people than those who live in the middle of nowhere. The city is swimming with people from every single planet. Sadly I think of my ex when I think of the city. We'd always have day trips which were so much fun :( Okay, but seriously, the idea that you can't have a relationship with anyone living in the city is just crazy. You might not be ready to try finding someone, which is fine. You don't have eyes to see anyone else because you aren't over your ex. You're just thirsty for a relationship. You'd basically date anyone because you're desperate for a girlfriend. I am in this situation at the moment lol. Also I know the feel about warm weather making you depressed. Sh*t sucks man.. Link to post Share on other sites
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