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3 weeks No Contact- Will he be back?


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I was in a relationship for 4 months. We met through a mutual friend. He was wonderful as he treated me with respect and was a gentleman. I was a bit confused throughout the relationship because he would invite me to meet his friends, coworkers. He met my parents. I have not met his yet. He would talk about the future (just weekend trips/plans mostly and meeting his family). I was confused because he would hold back his feelings and a part of it is because he was hurt from his previous relationship. I'll admit that a part of me was holding back too, especially in the beginning (because of my past) but was starting to get comfortable around him, but still held back a bit. Throughout the four months, we haven't argued and we would spend at least once a week together, sometimes more. He's a really busy person as he works at least 60 hours a week. We would still communicate via text/call even though there were days we did not speak because he was busy. Anyways, there was one day we hung out and I had gotten mad at him because I felt like he was ignoring me. He is aware that I got mad and knows why but we didn't really talk about it. Since then I felt that he was becoming distant from me. A week later he broke up with me saying he can't be the man I want him to be because of his busy schedule. He said that I should be with someone who has more time for me. However, I know that is not the reason because I had told him that I was ok with him being busy as long as we see each other once a week and he told me himself that I've been very patient with him. He also said that we weren't crazy for each other. That made me confused because everyone around us would say we look really happy with each other. I feel that the reason is that he is afraid that I am going to hurt him the way the last girl did (I may be wrong though). Anyways, during the break up, he said that he is probably making the biggest mistake of his life right now. I just stayed quiet when He said that. It kinda made me upset because I don't know if he is giving me false hope. Since the break up I have done no contact with him. He does not have any social media except snapchat. Two weeks after the break up, he deleted/blocked me from snapchat. We did not send any snaps since the breakup so I didn't see the point. (And I never put anything on my story either). Today is Day 23 of no contact. I'm missing him terribly-even more now after 3 weeks. My friends tell me that he'll be back, but considering we did not go out for a long time and because he was holding back, I don't know if he's coming back. Ive been doing good during the NC. I've started running and working out and would just stay busy, however whenever I have free time, I would start missing him. I know we did not go out for a long time, but I really like him, and I think he is worth it. He was originally supposed to go with me to a communion party next weekend, but with this whole situation, that is no longer the case. I am still planning on doing NC, but was just wondering on your guys thoughts/opinions.

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He was pretty clear with you when he broke up with you.. I think what makes you confused is that you're still holding on to hope and it's causing you to overanalyze his words and actions.

 

When you said you were ok with him being busy and that all you needed was to see him once a week, he accepted it at first but then eventually after awhile he just couldn't bring himself to do that to you or anyone for that matter. He just doesn't have the time.. seems like his priority when it comes to relationships is low compared to his work.

 

He just doesn't want to hurt you and he probably believes that in order for a relationship to be good, you need to spend time and be close with each other.. he can't provide that so he broke up with you.

 

Will he come back? who knows.. that isn't something you have control over, best thing to do is accept it's over and start focusing on yourself.

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spiderowl

HE broke up with you.

 

HE has blocked you on an app.

 

These are not the moves of a guy who really likes you and doesn't want it to end. I'm sorry but don't be fooled by all the chaff in what he said. His actions speak volumes.

 

Yes, he may well be making the biggest mistake of his life, but HE chose to make it. I wouldn't waste any time wondering if this guy will be back: he was clearly only half in it as it was. A guy who can only see you once a week and then apparently gets stressed if you want to see him more is not interested enough - simple as that.

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RoseHeart

Hey there! I'm also on 3 weeks NC :laugh:

 

Our story is familiar. Both of us had a guy who has past girlfriend issues, both of us only dated our guys a brief period, both couldn't give us what we want right now, both gave us false hope and both our guys ultimately broke up with us although in my case I was forced to end things due to his behavior.

 

I think you need to take a step back and ask yourself if he really really wanted to be with you, do you think he'll still be using excuses like him being too busy? I mean think about it, if you really love someone and have fallen for them will you tell them to go find someone else? Will you end things because you are too busy despite knowing how much you love them and want them in your life? See if you place yourself in his shoes the truth becomes clearer.

 

I also had to accept that in my case "He just wasn't that into me" and I can think of at least 20 reasons why I can argue with that and think of areas where I might be wrong about my conclusion BUT that won't bring him back. Clinging onto any words or actions said in the past won't undo the way the situation is today and that is that they aren't with us anymore and it was ultimately their choice.

 

I'm also on 3 weeks NC as mentioned earlier and for me it has already sunk in quite clearly that we are done because I saw my ex hanging out with his previous girlfriend again. So that has definitely motivated me to move on but I'll encourage you to start the process of acceptance as soon as possible. The more you wish for him to come back the harder it becomes to let go. You must make the decision of putting him and what you had behind you even if it's the hardest thing you've ever done. Solely just to protect yourself of future hurt and to help you get on the healing path asap because time will heal these wounds. But it won't work if you keep pulling off the band aids every time you think of him and false hope.

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