TunaCat Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 (edited) It's officially been 22 days since he dumped me. Out of the blue after frequently telling me he wanted to marry me and that I was the only one for him. As luck would have it, he messaged me on FB this morning (which I ignored) Then this afternoon, I saw on a mutual friend's FB that she was now in a relationship with my ex. I nearly vomited on the spot. How is this possible? We've only been broken up 3 weeks and I'm no where NEAR ready to get into a relationship with anyone. I know it's not healthy, but I gotta wonder if things were going on between them before we officially broke up. And if not, why was it so easy to move on? I miss him less and less every day, but I certainly was not ready to hear that he was already in a new relationship. Needless to say I blocked them both, but I think this may have set my healing back. Also needless to say, I've been in tears most of the afternoon. Edited April 15, 2015 by TunaCat Link to post Share on other sites
Photofinish Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 It's officially been 22 days since he dumped me. Out of the blue after frequently telling me he wanted to marry me and that I was the only one for him. As luck would have it, he messaged me on FB this morning (which I ignored) Then this afternoon, I saw on a mutual friend's FB that she was now in a relationship with my ex. I nearly vomited on the spot. How is this possible? We've only been broken up 3 weeks and I'm no where NEAR ready to get into a relationship with anyone. I know it's not healthy, but I gotta wonder if things were going on between them before we officially broke up. And if not, why was it so easy to move on? I miss him less and less every day, but I certainly was not ready to hear that he was already in a new relationship. Needless to say I blocked them both, but I think this may have set my healing back. Also needless to say, I've been in tears most of the afternoon. The SAME exact thing happened to me. About 2-3 weeks later I saw it on my feed from her update status. I blocked them both too. I wanted to dieeeeee. It's clear what it means . He didnt care about you , sadly ... Or rebound too but people have to mourn their loss relationship. If they dont then they prob didnt care much to begin with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 It sucks hearing your ex is in a new relationship regardless of how much time it's been from the breakup. You can either let it eat away at you and drive you insane like chinese water torture, or you can take it as the final nail in the coffin and focus more on moving on. Good job to you both for blocking them though. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Don't beat yourself up OP over the timing. If it was easy for him to tell you that you were going to get married only to suddenly dump you, it's easy for him to jump into something else quickly too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bohonia Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Here is some honest truth you are not going to like. It wasn't really "there" for them. It happens and the chance something was going on behind your back is more than probable. You probably knew when you were both together something was off and something was missing most people sense it even when if they try to ignore it. It may hurt right now but you will move on. Keep moving forward and stop looking back... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
totenkopf Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Same happened to me my girlfriend said how much she had always wanted me and we planned marriage and she even bought a dress and was enquiring with venues. A week before she left she even viewed a flat for us to move in together in the last week she let me wrap every present for her sons birthday and sign a joint card. One night she walked out and did not want to know me two months later she was in a relationship with a bouncer at her work who is everything she said she disliked after six weeks they put on fb that they were engaged and even sent me a picture of the tacky ring Link to post Share on other sites
AIJ Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Here is some honest truth you are not going to like. It wasn't really "there" for them. It happens and the chance something was going on behind your back is more than probable. You probably knew when you were both together something was off and something was missing most people sense it even when if they try to ignore it. It may hurt right now but you will move on. Keep moving forward and stop looking back... This is actually spot on. I could sense something was MASSIVELY off with my relationship, I ended it back in December but she begged and pleaded and I gave in. I have no idea why she did that, maybe it was just that sudden shock that made her do it. We were together for a further month and a half, she ended it, jumped in to a new relationship a few weeks later. I just knew. Never going to ignore that gut feeling again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Getting into a new relationship asap doesnt mean anything and it surely doesnt mean the person has won. It is never a competition about who gets to be attached first. Im glad you have blocked your ex. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 I think it's more than likely that there was something going on behind your back, and they just waited a few weeks to make it public. Still, it doesn't look good for either of them, and rest assured that other people can see through that too. My ex was proposing to another woman while simultaneously trying to sell my engagement ring on eBay. So anytime I get the least bit nostalgic, I just think of that and know I deserve better. For me, finding out that he was engaged so soon was the final push I needed to get over him completely. It's like all my feelings for him completely disappeared. So while it was a shock and cried, it was a blessing in the long run. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 I agree, they probably waited a few weeks so they wouldn't look like the rats they are. Good riddance to both of them! They deserve each other. How are you holding up? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ZiggyZoo Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 That stings like hell, when they move on so quickly. I kinda had it, except mine started before we were officially broken up. I would just tell myself that my exs new girlfriend is getting someone who 1)can't end one relationship before starting another, 2)is dealing with the loss of his seven year marriage by getting involved with her RIGHT away, and 3)has already cheated on one partner. So what is the great prize that she's getting, really. I know yours didn't necessarily cheat, but the other two apply. As much as it sucks and hurts being the ones who feel left behind, at least we're dealing with our heartbreak in a healthy manner. We'll have dealt with it properly and not carry the baggage with us into another relationship and ruin it. So, I'd honestly rather be us then them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TunaCat Posted April 17, 2015 Author Share Posted April 17, 2015 I agree, they probably waited a few weeks so they wouldn't look like the rats they are. Good riddance to both of them! They deserve each other. How are you holding up? I'd love to say that I'm handling it gracefully and if you're not inside my head, that's EXACTLY what you'd see but yesterday in particular was a rough day. I was pretty upset last night. I even started trying to come up with schemes to get him back. Stupid I know. I'm still struggling, but I want him to be happy and if he wasn't happy with me, I want him to be happy with someone. Link to post Share on other sites
ZiggyZoo Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 I even started trying to come up with schemes to get him back. Stupid I know. I was doing the same thing earlier today, if it makes you feel better. There's this militaria show this weekend that I know my ex will be at, and I had all sorts of schemes going on to show up too and have a grand reconciliation. I'm going to be a good girl and not even go, but I wasted some time on thinking about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
melissacus Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 It hurts now, but in time you'll see it was a blessing in disguise. Be grateful things are done. He is who he is and now this girl gets to deal with it. Good luck to her hang in there, doll, you're a warrior. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Weekends can be rough. Are you having any luck finding things to distract yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 I know it is hard, but the best thing for you to do is not to dwell on the past. Why are you still FB friends with him? It doesn't seem like that will help you heal and move on, to have access to him via social media. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TunaCat Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 Weekends can be rough. Are you having any luck finding things to distract yourself? Yes, thank goodness. I was going to stay home & watch the NBA Playoffs, but instead I've been attending my teen brother's basketball games. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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