darkbloom Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I do not want him in my life anymore. I have accepted NC and have accepted that I will probably never hear from him again. That doesn't bother me as much anymore. My ego just wants him to get in contact with me and apologize to prove that I was right. I should not care what he thinks anymore (working on it) but I want the ego boost to know that I mattered. That I was important even if it is over. Is this a stage in the coping process? Your ego just comes roaring in your head and wants to know that you were valuable? I am working on indifference to him and the situation. Does this go away? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Yes it does go away, but what he thinks doesn't matter. What you think is what matters. Stick to NC and focus on doing the best for yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I've been told it's normal and that it goes away, but I have yet to feel that yet. I just want him to contact me, tell me that I'm worth fighting for and that he's sorry. Yeah, like that's ever gonna happen. Stick to NC 1 Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Does this go away? it does, with time. i didn't want my ex back either but i wanted him to admit that he was wrong & come beg for my forgiveness just so i could say NO! LoL. it's a stage. you eventually accept the harsh and ugly truth which is probably the hardest part in healing & you simply move on. and suddenly... you wake up one day and you realize that you haven't thought about your ex for a month & that you really couldn't care less and that you're finally over the "needing the apology and groveling" phase. you realize that you don't need his approval or for him to confirm what you already know - that you do matter and that you are worthy. life goes on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KBarletta Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I do not want him in my life anymore. I have accepted NC and have accepted that I will probably never hear from him again. That doesn't bother me as much anymore. My ego just wants him to get in contact with me and apologize to prove that I was right. I should not care what he thinks anymore (working on it) but I want the ego boost to know that I mattered. That I was important even if it is over. Is this a stage in the coping process? Your ego just comes roaring in your head and wants to know that you were valuable? I am working on indifference to him and the situation. Does this go away? I have had these same thoughts - wouldn't it be nice if she came back and said how wrong she was and what a mistake she's made. But there's always a chance that it would come at a weak moment for me and I would end up saying "OK" and then I'd be back to square one. So as much as it would be an ego boost, it may not be good overall, and probably isn't worth your time to think about. Better to focus on you and your future and making that the best it can be. That's what's going to be the best thing for your ego in the long term. Still, it'd be nice to know that people who kicked us to the curb realize what they've lost, huh? Because in most cases, they've lost something pretty great. Link to post Share on other sites
Author darkbloom Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 I have had these same thoughts - wouldn't it be nice if she came back and said how wrong she was and what a mistake she's made. But there's always a chance that it would come at a weak moment for me and I would end up saying "OK" and then I'd be back to square one. So as much as it would be an ego boost, it may not be good overall, and probably isn't worth your time to think about. Better to focus on you and your future and making that the best it can be. That's what's going to be the best thing for your ego in the long term. Still, it'd be nice to know that people who kicked us to the curb realize what they've lost, huh? Because in most cases, they've lost something pretty great. You are absolutely right. What if we end up saying "OK"? That would drag us back to hell. I just want him to say that I was right. I do not want to go back to any sort of relationship. I just want like a Facebook message that says "I'm sorry S, you were right." End scene. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleShamrock Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I'm currently struggling big time with this too. My self worth was destroyed when I discovered he had been pursuing other women for both dating & just sex throughout most of our relationship. It's left me feeling inadequate as both a relationship partner and a sexual partner. Added to that is the feeling that in the end, myself & our relationship wasn't even really worth fighting for. While I got sincere apologies, he put in no effort to fight for me or what we had. He seemed to find it easy to just shut down his emotions. As messed up as it is, I too still have that need for him to reach out & try to make things right. Link to post Share on other sites
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