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wife (we are separated) sleeping with someone else in our bed


BritishCanadian

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BritishCanadian

Ok....

 

Can someone please talk to me...this hit me hard the last couple of days.

 

Me and my wife are separated 6 months ago. We are friends still, simply not lovers...it was a mutual thing.

 

Since then I dated only one girl for a couple of months, yes we slept together, but only one time.

 

My wife (soon t be ex wife), Is dating someone, no big deal, I'm perfectly fine with that. However, 2 days ago I found out she is having sex with the guy in the marital home we brought together...in our marital bed.

 

Maybe I am old fashioned, maybe I am thinking to much into it...But it really bothers me she would be having sex with this guy in our marital home...in our marital bed...with the kids sleeping and with my dogs laying at the bottom of our once bed...

 

It isn't because I still want her..I just find it disrespectful to our marriage, regardless that it failed....

 

Can anyone relate...offer words of wisdom/guidance?

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So she has the house I take it? Will the house be hers when all is said and done?

 

If the answer is yes, as bad as it sounds, its her place now since you're no longer there. Remember, its just a place, and the bed is just a memory. Like a rock being thrown in water, its physical impact stopped existing when you two no longer remained a couple. It's just a memory now, and like a rock in water, the water has smoothed over with only the memory of the rocks impact.

 

That's what I would tell myself anyway. It's what I had to learn when I thought the off the same places and things that my ex will take to with someone else. It's no longer real.

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Mrlonelyone

I have never been anything like married so I cannot speak from personal experience.

 

I do know seeing an ex with a new person enjoying the same places or things you once shared can be disconcerting.

 

However I can share the experience of watching a very long relationship go through ups and downs like what you describe.

 

My parents met in 1973. They have now known each other for 40+ years 35 of them married. They were broken up, separated, and living on different coast for two or three years. They each had lovers my moms in the marital bed.

 

Then when they got back together that stopped.

 

The guy my mom was with came back around to see her. My dad came downstairs in his bathrobe to the door and asked him to come in and have a beer. That guy took one look at dad and said "Welp I's had best be going now (US Southern accent)".

 

What I am saying is while there is a bite to this violation of such a space the space does not matter as much as you may think. If it is simply and finally over then there awaits a new space for you to find or create with a new woman. If it is not over then the marital bed is a space which will be yours again.

 

I really hope some of what I said helps a little.

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