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Getting back into the daily grind


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Honestly, how do any of you go back to work, resume your lives? I'm sitting at the office and my thoughts keep turning to my ex. I am so distracted, tired. I want to lie down and sleep for ages. I want to wake up in a world that doesn't feel cold and empty without him. I want to feel happy again.

 

I feel like there's no way I can ever get my work done. This feels hopeless. I just want to talk to him to dispel the bad feelings and move on with my day. What can I do?

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Honestly, how do any of you go back to work, resume your lives? I'm sitting at the office and my thoughts keep turning to my ex. I am so distracted, tired. I want to lie down and sleep for ages. I want to wake up in a world that doesn't feel cold and empty without him. I want to feel happy again.

 

I feel like there's no way I can ever get my work done. This feels hopeless. I just want to talk to him to dispel the bad feelings and move on with my day. What can I do?

 

Use your work as a vacation for your mind. When you step in the doorway leave all your worries there. Treat it as a time where you are being paid to not think about your ex. Meditarion also helps if you do it before and after work. He does not control your happiness. You do.

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ApexTitanium

I feel the same but even sleeping doesn't help me.

At work I think about her, at home same thing....try to go out and yep same thing.

Go to bed most nights I'll dream about her....and wake up with a huge pain in my stomach and high anxiety realising another day that she's gone and I'll be in pain....

Yea I have no idea how much longer I'm gonna last. Its been 3 months of constant feeling this way....I see no end in sight.

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Personally, for myself, after my breakup little over 7.5 months ago I felt the same, how do I go back to work, how do I resume my life?

 

For me I decided on taking "baby steps" in regards to picking back up with my life after my heart break. Sometimes it all boiled down in trying to do a few small tiny jobs around the house and for myself a day. I didn't start big, I just gave myself three small tasks to do for the day, as to try and get back into the swing of things.

 

Literally, my jobs around the house lists used to look so basic!

 

1. Pickup the bedroom floor

 

2. Load the dishwasher

 

3. Clean out the cat's litter box

 

That was it, little over 7.5 months ago that was all I could do for myself, my home, my cat's ect. ect. ect.

 

Eventually as the days rolled into weeks I decided to add more to my lists, as in trying to keep myself a little bit more busy as time went on. With starting small at first, then as time went on getting more extravagant with my lists, it helped provide myself some much needed "distractions"!

 

Also, I don't know if this will help you, but it kind of helped me, but from the very start, from the days when my lists only compiled of 3 things a day to do, I kind of turned it into a mental mind game like this........."Aaron you will try to not think of your ex-fiancé for the amount of time it takes to load this dishwasher"! "Aaron, you will try to not think of your ex-fiancé for the amount of time it takes to vacuum the house"! "Aaron, you will put her out of your mind for as long as it takes to scoop out this litter box"!

 

I'm sure you see where I'm going here!

 

darkbloom: Gave you a wonderful idea, which I used to make it through my work days after I decided to go back to work. The idea of turning your work day into some sort of mental vacation is a good idea. Granted I own and operate my own at home computer repair and network support company, so deciding when to go back to work was really "on me", but I used the same principals as darkbloom suggested. "Aaron, when you walk into your work room, you will try to focus on other things, let's try to go somewhere else in your mind"!

 

But trust me hela it does get more easy to deal with and things do get better with "time"! Just start with the "resuming your life" back up small, baby steps, not to much all at once, just little steps! While at work, if needed, just take a minute or two to step outside for a quick second and grab a breath of some fresh air!

 

Just remember, it's going to take time!

 

We're here for you, keep posting!

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Annoyed me so much how my college tutors (I have 4, all teaching different units, stupid really) had absolutely no consideration for the situation I was in. As if they've never gone through a break up before. *******s. I asked if I could have a little more time to turn my assignments in due to being in a very difficult position in my personal life right now (death, break up, death, in that order, all in quick succession), and they all refused and told me I shouldn't mix personal life with my education. Still struggling with getting my head down, however I am managing to complete my assignments slowly but surely. It's funny because I'm sure if they went through what I went through, they'd have trouble turning up for work let alone teaching. Dicks.

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Thank you for posting this Hela, I am in the exact same spot. I am on day 13 of NC (break 5 weeks ago, break up 3 weeks ago).

 

Some days I am ok at work, other days, like today I am completely worthless. Even on the ok days at work, I still can't stop thinking about her. I am so tired of all this pain. I just want it to be done already, or at least easing up, and it doesn't seem to be.

 

I especially relate to sleeping more yet feeling incredibly tired still. I wake up each morning and feel like I ran a marathon. Then, because I am tired all day, the emotional pain is even more intense, and concentrating at work is so difficult.

 

I felt like I was going to make my way out of it the first few weeks - I was running, hanging out with friends, therapy twice a week. But I am slowly losing motivation for all that. God this sucks.

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AIJ, you should look into mental health services at your school. When I was doing my undergrad, I fell into a deep depression when my father attempted suicide. I saw my family doctor and he signed a form for my school that entitled me to certain accommodations, like assignment extensions, etc. Two deaths and a breakup are plenty of reasons to fall into a deep depression. You should explore your options.

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MovingOn9 -- I can't even tell you how hard some days are. My ex sent me the saddest message about how he loves and thinks the world of me, but needs to fix himself and can't be with me. I just feel so frustrated, tired and defeated on so many levels -- with my self-esteem and ideas of self-worth, with what I used to think about him, with how stupid I feel, with how hard it is to keep up with other parts of my work (my degree, my job, my friends, my family). I'm so tired. How could someone who used to care about me want to do this to me?

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"I just feel so frustrated, tired and defeated on so many levels."

 

Day 14 - Yep, exactly where I am at Hela. Barely pulled myself out of bed today. Don't care. At work now. Don't care. I've had no communication since the break up. People keep saying it gets better, but I sure as hell don't believe them right now.

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Jimmyjackson
"I just feel so frustrated, tired and defeated on so many levels."

 

Day 14 - Yep, exactly where I am at Hela. Barely pulled myself out of bed today. Don't care. At work now. Don't care. I've had no communication since the break up. People keep saying it gets better, but I sure as hell don't believe them right now.

 

It's day 14, are you expecting to be magically healed? Not going to lie to you, you'll be a mess for the first month.

 

14 days is two weeks, two weeks is nothing, give it some time.

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What about if you're a security guard? It's difficult to 'let your mind take a break' when you don't really do much work. Office jobs are no different because your mind begins to wander and you begin to procrastinate.

 

I have the worst type of job for someone going through a break-up lol

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Jimmyjackson
What about if you're a security guard? It's difficult to 'let your mind take a break' when you don't really do much work. Office jobs are no different because your mind begins to wander and you begin to procrastinate.

 

I have the worst type of job for someone going through a break-up lol

 

I still work in the place that I met my ex, she no longer works there but it still brings back memories of her when I go in for my shift. I'm searching for a new job.

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I still work in the place that I met my ex, she no longer works there but it still brings back memories of her when I go in for my shift. I'm searching for a new job.

 

This is why I NEVER date co-worker or people who work in my vicinity.

It's good that you're looking for a new job, it'll give you a fresh start somewhere new.

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Jimmyjackson
This is why I NEVER date co-worker or people who work in my vicinity.

It's good that you're looking for a new job, it'll give you a fresh start somewhere new.

 

Yeah, I mean we've been broken up 7 months now, and she hasn't worked with me for about 11 to be fair, so we haven't had to work together since we broke up.

 

Yeah I do feel like the place I'm at holds some good memories but some bad ones too, feel I need to get away from it.

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Yeah, I mean we've been broken up 7 months now, and she hasn't worked with me for about 11 to be fair, so we haven't had to work together since we broke up.

 

Yeah I do feel like the place I'm at holds some good memories but some bad ones too, feel I need to get away from it.

 

Wow, 7 months. I hope your're feeling better these days, I can't imagine where i'm going to be in 7 months.

But yeah, it's better to move away from those memories, even good memories bring tears to ones eyes.

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Jimmyjackson
Wow, 7 months. I hope your're feeling better these days, I can't imagine where i'm going to be in 7 months.

But yeah, it's better to move away from those memories, even good memories bring tears to ones eyes.

 

 

 

I am better yeah, not 100% though. I think the thing that is keeping me from being fully healed is having not met someone yet. I'm not saying I need someone to help me move on and distract me, I just need to meet someone else to make me believe again, make me realise there's someone else out there who will make me feel the same way again. My ex is my only relationship so i have nothing to compare it to.

 

I actually had to count the months the other day, can't believe its been 7 Months already...gone so quickly in a lot of ways.

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I am better yeah, not 100% though. I think the thing that is keeping me from being fully healed is having not met someone yet. I'm not saying I need someone to help me move on and distract me, I just need to meet someone else to make me believe again, make me realise there's someone else out there who will make me feel the same way again. My ex is my only relationship so i have nothing to compare it to.

 

I actually had to count the months the other day, can't believe its been 7 Months already...gone so quickly in a lot of ways.

 

It's only been 1 month and 20 days for me and 32 days of NC.

I feel like complete and utter crap today. I can't remember the last time I cried as much as I did today. Not to mention, school is stressing me the hell out because I'm behind in one class. I just can't concentrate and I easily get angry and bitter just thinking about her. I haven't heard a word from her since the day I called her, I ****ing hate her and love at the very same time.

 

I had a long distance relationship which didn't last long and didn't take long to get over, but I was with my recent ex for 4 years, and she was my first everything. I feel the same way you do, I don't believe there's anyone as good as my ex. I don't believe there's anyone who will make feel as comfortable as she did.

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