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Breadcrumbs


AprilTears

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I got some yesterday. I did not reply and I won't.

 

I am pissed off! He knows how bad he hurt me and he likely knows I'm suffering through no contact (10 days now). How dare he send me some flirty email then let me know he is thinking of me? Then something about hoping I have a good week and he ends it will a couple smiley faces!

 

It makes me think that this break up hasn't affected him at all and he's just going about his days like nothing ever happened.

 

Although it said nothing of significance, it's gotten to me! It easily leaves the door open for me to engage in conversation with him.

Edited by AprilTears
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Block all available avenues for contact. Why leave the door open to someone who is bringing you pain?

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I don't think I'm able to block his emails?

 

I'm not going to reply to him. I'm just upset that he thinks it's ok to send me an email after all these days with nothing from him. And email that says nothing significant. He thinks I'll reply like I have before letting his behavior slide. But I will not. Not this time.

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Hmmm. . . . it seems like you should be able to block his email. What kind of account do you have?

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Simon Phoenix
I don't think I'm able to block his emails?

 

I'm not going to reply to him. I'm just upset that he thinks it's ok to send me an email after all these days with nothing from him. And email that says nothing significant. He thinks I'll reply like I have before letting his behavior slide. But I will not. Not this time.

 

Of course you can block his e-mail. Almost every e-mail hosting site has this capability.

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It sounds like you still want the breadcrumbs. To prove he cares. Even if you don't respond.

 

The best thing to do to heal is to block all avenues of communication. Email, phone, fb, etc.

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Of course you can block his e-mail. Almost every e-mail hosting site has this capability.

 

Well that is good to know! I tried on my phone (where I read the majority of them) and didn't find the option but I will definitely look further into it.

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It sounds like you still want the breadcrumbs. To prove he cares. Even if you don't respond.

 

The best thing to do to heal is to block all avenues of communication. Email, phone, fb, etc.

 

I do NOT want breadcrumbs!! He does not care, this I know. Honestly, I believe his giant ego is checking to see if I'm still on the line. If I'll take the bait. And I'm not. My post was just me venting and I'm glad I did.

 

I've blocked his number already. We don't use FB or any other social media. I'm looking into email blocking now.

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I do NOT want breadcrumbs!! He does not care, this I know. Honestly, I believe his giant ego is checking to see if I'm still on the line. If I'll take the bait. And I'm not. My post was just me venting and I'm glad I did.

 

I've blocked his number already. We don't use FB or any other social media. I'm looking into email blocking now.

 

Hi April!

 

Screw blocking him; let them come in. Don't respond, but let them come. Be strong and if you need someone to help you, PM me.

 

I have been going through this. I have Netzero, and though I believe it has blocking capability, by the time I learned how, I didn't want it anymore. I decided to leave it open.

 

Obviously it's up to you, but don't block him from pressure from here, do so if that's what you really want. I never want to block people, I can ignore them myself.

 

I want you to know that I know how it feels!!! I have had so many texts, emails, even calls (though they are rare) from my ex, even though she is the one telling me to stop. I know going on about her pisses people here off, but I need to, both to relate and to vent. To me, every communication is hope, and I asked her to stop it. I think she's getting it, and I don't know how to feel about that. I want her to give me hope because I want hope. Guess my stupid brain just can't let go yet.

 

All that said, I will never block her. If she wants to communicate, that's good. In your case, I don't know. You must decide, but blocking always seemed to me to be so f*cking wimpy. So scared sh*tless that one can't stand to hear the truth. I say "leave it" in all media, and deal (or not) as it comes.

 

No matter what, I send hugs!!! I'm sorry for your pain, and I hope things get better for you soon. Please reach out to me any time and I will be there for you!!

 

Ken

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I do NOT want breadcrumbs!! He does not care, this I know. Honestly, I believe his giant ego is checking to see if I'm still on the line. If I'll take the bait. And I'm not. My post was just me venting and I'm glad I did.

 

I've blocked his number already. We don't use FB or any other social media. I'm looking into email blocking now.

 

You won't be able to block emails from your phone. On your computer, where you check your mail, is where you need to block.

 

So.... yeah. Don't give him access. No need to read that junk. You know why? Because it only HURTS YOU. Sure, you get the thrill of the rush of seeing he's thinking of you..... but it gets your hopes up.

 

All breadcrumbs do is make it easier for the dumper to move on. Not you!

 

HE gets to feel better, less guilty, that's all. To hell with him. Let him feel guilty.

 

If he has anything important to say, he'll find a way around the blocks to say it! Stop being a convenience.

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Thank you Ken & Ruby!

 

I am not replying or sending him any messages. I'm truly moving on this time. He has pushed me to the point of no return.

 

Again, I was mostly just venting that he had the gall to contact me after everything he put me through.

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It doesn't matter what you think or say: it matters what you DO.

 

So.... BLOCK HIM.

 

Go to your email and if you need help on how to do it through gmail, I can help you. For other emails I'm sure there are people here who can walk you through it. ;)

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It doesn't matter what you think or say: it matters what you DO.

 

So.... BLOCK HIM.

 

Go to your email and if you need help on how to do it through gmail, I can help you. For other emails I'm sure there are people here who can walk you through it. ;)

 

What I think & say does matter as it leads to my actions and what I DO!

 

I do not have gmail.

 

Truth is if he wants to find me, he easily could. He could call from any number, email from any account. I don't think he's that eager and again, I believe he was just feeling me out. He's been ignored so now he knows.

 

I have nothing to say to this man. I said it all when it ended.

 

I am moving on... My desire to be with him, gone. It's too late.

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What email do you have? We can help you find out how to block.... since you're clearly unwilling to find out how to do it yourself :laugh:

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What email do you have? We can help you find out how to block.... since you're clearly unwilling to find out how to do it yourself :laugh:

 

I'm not posting my email here lol It's not a common service provider. It's a local one through my cable company.

 

I'm not unwilling to do anything. I'm not sure why you're so adamant I block him when I am adamant that I would never reply to him.

 

If he truly wanted to reach me, same as anyone here who's EX could contact them at any time and in any way, he would. It's up to ME not my EX to have him in my life or not. I choose not. I'm sorry you aren't getting that.

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You don't need to post your email address!

 

Just post your email provider. I'm sure someone here can help you put on a block.... IF that's really what you want to do ;)

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You don't need to post your email address!

 

Just post your email provider. I'm sure someone here can help you put on a block.... IF that's really what you want to do ;)

 

Nope, not that worried about it.

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xinaxxsdertf

i know how you feel april. My ex texts me randomly out of the blue saying she misses me and still loves me. and then goes like 5 days without texting at all.

 

I think they only text when they are bored and just want to see how you will respond to them. let them emails come through just dont reply to any. like you said he knows where to find you and hasnt bothered trying at all. my ex texts me but yet has to drive past my house nearly everyday, never stops in. Never does anything to even attempt to see how I am then they think a text or an email once a week will be okay?

 

we need to stick to NC and try move on :(

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i know how you feel april. My ex texts me randomly out of the blue saying she misses me and still loves me. and then goes like 5 days without texting at all.

 

I think they only text when they are bored and just want to see how you will respond to them. let them emails come through just dont reply to any. like you said he knows where to find you and hasnt bothered trying at all. my ex texts me but yet has to drive past my house nearly everyday, never stops in. Never does anything to even attempt to see how I am then they think a text or an email once a week will be okay?

 

we need to stick to NC and try move on :(

 

Exactly!

 

Sounds like you need to block your ex from texting you so you can continue in your healing. I don't expect to hear from mine again. His first text to me right after the break up was ignored and then I blocked him. The email was many days later and ignored.

 

I know him and I know he won't keep reaching out only to be ignored. That email was his last effort in my opinion. I'm not interested in anything he has to say. I already know it won't be anything important and even if it was I wouldn't take him back so continuing on my merry way is what I'll do.

 

Best wishes to you!

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Simon Phoenix
I'm not posting my email here lol It's not a common service provider. It's a local one through my cable company.

 

I'm not unwilling to do anything. I'm not sure why you're so adamant I block him when I am adamant that I would never reply to him.

 

If he truly wanted to reach me, same as anyone here who's EX could contact them at any time and in any way, he would. It's up to ME not my EX to have him in my life or not. I choose not. I'm sorry you aren't getting that.

 

Because even if you aren't replying, it's still giving you anxiety, hence your creation of this thread. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, but she's just trying to help. And at the very least, you can move it into a spam folder when it arrives without opening it up. At that point, all emails from his address will land there. But if you enjoy the annoyance of it, by all means.

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I'm not unwilling to do anything. I'm not sure why you're so adamant I block him when I am adamant that I would never reply to him.

 

If he truly wanted to reach me, same as anyone here who's EX could contact them at any time and in any way, he would. It's up to ME not my EX to have him in my life or not. I choose not. I'm sorry you aren't getting that.

 

I would also recommend blocking him because allowing him to email you keeps you emotionally attached to the situation. I think you might be looking at the act of blocking in a different way, but my perspective is that allowing an ex access does keep you emotionally entrenched in some way. It makes him relevant in some way, and the problem is that over time, you aren't able to detach from the relationship. Even the smallest bits of contact can create big problems down the line.

 

I think someone else said blocking is "whimpy," but it's really about drawing boundaries. Why insert yourself into a potentially volatile situation that will set you back emotionally. You feel like cr@p when he emails you, so why would you leave that door open? I think a part of it has to do with ego as well, and that's normal but not healthy to your recovery. I know that when my ex would contact me, it gave me an ego boost and made me feel powerful in some way, just for that moment. I liked the attention, but it had no long term benefit to me. I would later feel terrible, and it stalled my recovery process tremendously.

 

It's your choice, but I really believe in drawing a hard line in the sand if you are serious about recovery. People who are truly serious about detaching will usually block an ex that likes to keep a foothold. A lot of exes will hoover and lurk for the attention, but it sets up a dysfunctional dynamic if you allow the contact. Inevitably, the people who are unable to get over someone after years are the ones who have allowed these seemingly tiny footholds to take root in their lives, and so much of it has to do with mind set. When you allow a toxic ex a foothold, your state of mind is saying that you aren't done with that person. And that's a truly detrimental thing to do.

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Because even if you aren't replying, it's still giving you anxiety, hence your creation of this thread. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, but she's just trying to help. And at the very least, you can move it into a spam folder when it arrives without opening it up. At that point, all emails from his address will land there. But if you enjoy the annoyance of it, by all means.

 

I did mark it as spam the day after I read it. I'm traveling for over a week now and cannot block from my phone. Sure I could probably go searching for a computer and someone to help me block him but I didn't see it as urgent since I wasn't expexting a barrage of emails after that one and I've received no others since.

 

Yes, I was anxious when I first got the message hence my post to vent about it here. I over analyzed it at first and realize how stupid that was. He's gone and I'm moving on. it's been a long time coming.

 

I haven't reached out to him once or replied to him. In the past I did so immediately.

 

I get that she was trying to help but how about a little faith that I do have some self control especially after my numerous replies stating so?

Edited by AprilTears
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Simon Phoenix
I did mark it as spam the day after I read it. I'm traveling for over a week now and cannot block from my phone. Sure I could probably go searching for a computer and someone to help me block him but I didn't see it as urgent since I wasn't expexting a barrage of emails after that one and I've received no others since.

 

Yes, I was anxious when I first got the message hence my post to vent about it here. I over analyzed it at first and realize how stupid that was. He's gone and I'm moving on. it's been a long time coming.

 

I haven't reached out to him once or replied to him. In the past I did so immediately.

 

I get that she was trying to help but how about a little faith that I do have some self control especially after my numerous replies stating so?

 

I don't think she was saying you have no self-control and that you are going to mindlessly answer. I interpreted it as her saying that blocking will help you avoid the anxiety that comes from seeing his name in your inbox. And there is anxiety.

 

I don't think you'll answer. I do think that repeated e-mails that land in your box will piss you off when you don't need to be pissed off and make you ask questions to yourself that you don't need to be asking. But if you marked his email for spam, that might do the trick.

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