Ideas to make the most of the months whilst grieving? Lets not waste our lives!

[Emma1234]

I am surprised by how much it is hurting. It feels like a constant ache and then when I think directly about what he has done and the loss of everything it stabs so sharply I have to close my eyes and try desperately to shake the thoughts away.

 

I know this feeling goes and I know it has only been 5 days but I also know this ache is probably going to last for a while, I am moving away from here in about 2 months thank goodness and I know that will help as I'll be away from any memories, but that's two months. In the meantime I'm pretty sure I'll have to copy with him and his ex getting back together, the pain, the grief, the humiliation.

 

I cared about him so much, he was a bastard to me, I know that now. I can also see him for the shallow, money obsessed person he is. I am strict no contact, no facebook, every number and picture deleted but it's painful to let go of someone you love.

 

It makes me blame myself, maybe he was just like that with me? Maybe it's because I wasn't right for him, and that hurts even more. What if he treats his ex better? What if they're right for each other? What if she's better than me? I know his friends have said he has gone back to her for the money (she is from a ridiculously wealthy family, is a high payed accountant, and has just payed off her mortgage). It scares me to think I fell so hard for someone so obsessed with stuff like that, just the fact I can even consider the money to be a factor in this is so wrong, that's how much of a bastard he is, money over love.

 

I just want it all to go away now, I know it will be ok, I know i'll get over him and my life will pass and I'll meet someone who adores me, I don't think I'll even get pangs of missing him in the future, but right now I don't know how to cope?

 

I don't want to waste the next few months to a year of my life trying to get over him. My self confidence is on the floor, I let him put me down, make me feel like I wasn't good enough and just treat me like **** for so long. I don't know how to build it though, I don't know myself or my likes and dislikes and I feel so scared I'm depressed. I'm starting counselling soon which should help but in the meantime do you have any advice on what to do in order to not waste this time?

 

Or maybe even personal stories of what you did during your break up stage? Apparently things like this can push us to do incredible things, but because I don't know who I am, it's hard to know what I want to do.

 

Thank you everyone for any kind words and advice,

We will all get through this eventually

[Twigyy]

Hey there, it is five days of no contact for me too, even though the break was a month ago.. For me I spend my time talking to my sister and my cousin, as I don't have much friends. Even though I still do think about her after awhile but when I'm having fun I don't.

 

Sometimes I talk to my friends about how I feel and everything, and it makes me feel better about the break up. I usually find problems that she would do in her current relationship as she jumped into a new one right after mine, how being with me is a better choice, what stupid mistakes would the guy do which I learnt and he didn't, etc.

 

I just did what I like to do instead of what we used to do together. I sleep till the afternoon, wake up and play video games, watch my favourite shows that she didn't like, working out.

 

Also don't blame yourself too much. I can tell that you loved him more than he loved you in the relationship, and I'm sure that you did your best in keeping the relationship going. Cut yourself some slack, enjoy your own time, be yourself.

 

Don't think too much, because you won't be able to do anything about it, and just let him regret his decisions. I don't know you but you're an awesome person for being able to give all your love to someone.

 

Stay strong!

[Emma1234]

Hey there, it is five days of no contact for me too, even though the break was a month ago.. For me I spend my time talking to my sister and my cousin, as I don't have much friends. Even though I still do think about her after awhile but when I'm having fun I don't.

 

Sometimes I talk to my friends about how I feel and everything, and it makes me feel better about the break up. I usually find problems that she would do in her current relationship as she jumped into a new one right after mine, how being with me is a better choice, what stupid mistakes would the guy do which I learnt and he didn't, etc.

 

I just did what I like to do instead of what we used to do together. I sleep till the afternoon, wake up and play video games, watch my favourite shows that she didn't like, working out.

 

Also don't blame yourself too much. I can tell that you loved him more than he loved you in the relationship, and I'm sure that you did your best in keeping the relationship going. Cut yourself some slack, enjoy your own time, be yourself.

 

Don't think too much, because you won't be able to do anything about it, and just let him regret his decisions. I don't know you but you're an awesome person for being able to give all your love to someone.

 

Stay strong!

 

Thank you, support makes such a huge difference now. Taking it easy does sound like the best thing to do, I just wish I could get if off my mind and stop feeling sick all the time.

 

You sound like you're getting there and as though you're keeping your thoughts and your mind in a good place

Edited March 8, 2015 by Emma1234

[Twigyy]

Yeah, I do feel sick and bored without her with me once in awhile. But do take more time taking care of yourself, remember to eat and drink, put more time into showering, make yourself look better, etc. Find more stuff that you enjoying doing, so you won't think too much.