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I was dumb and ate breadcrumbs


grabaka

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So I now have realized that I messed up and ate some breadcrumbs and fed my stbx wife’s ego, this was before I knew what breadcrumbs were. The brief back story about my situation is my wife of 5 years left me abruptly, I found out she was then seeing another man (Co-worker) who was married and they slept together. They were together for about 2 ½ months until he dumped her and went back to his wife. Basically he played my wife and used her for sex. They now do not have anything to do with one another since she realized he was using her for sex.

 

 

Now here’s where the breadcrumbs come in. When my stbx left she changed her phone number, I had no way of contacting her and when we had to communicate it was through email. After he dumped her she started emailing me and said how some store reminded her of me, and she thought of me. I didn’t respond. Then one day she called me and talked to me (I answered because I didn’t know the number and thought it could be work related) and about how she wished we would have worked out blah blah blah. I told her she chose this path and what not and if she would have came home I would have tried to work on us. I realize now though I could never get over her affair and deceit though. Anyways this was the week I was supposed to move out for divorce purposes. She would text and of course I was responding, I didn’t know what breadcrumbs were and I didn’t think she was doing it for an ego boost or potentially to ease her guilt.

 

 

I explained to her that I did go on a few dates with a girl from work…granted this was almost 2 months after my wife left me and I found out she slept with someone else. She kinda gave me crap about it. Anyways out of the blue one night she texts and asked if I want to go to marriage counseling. I was like WTF, I told her I have to move out by the end of the week and now you want to go to counseling?!? I said cancel the divorce, and she said she wouldn’t . Instead she made an offer which was….get fully divorce, live separate, work on ourselves first, then potentially maybe date and work on us. I turned that down. This offer she proposed was debated back and forth with one another for a few days, until I told her I was done…I couldn’t forgive her and that I am moving on and going to continue to date the other girl. My stbx replied with a text that read ok see ya, and 7 hours later she shows up at our home to “pickup” something, and then she started with the I miss us crap and wish we wouldn’t have gotten to where we were. We got in an argument over when I move out, she flipped out left, and 45 minutes later texts she misses sleeping next to me at night. I didn’t reply, and have had ZERO contact with her since and that was 2 ½ weeks ago.

 

 

So ultimately I ate breadcrumbs, probably fed her ego because I told her I was hurt…loved her…wanted her and I to be together forever etc. Now that I know what breadcrumbs are and that I potentially fed her ego I am mad at myself. I don’t want her to have an ego boost, or to think Im pining for her. I didn’t want to ease her guilt if that is what she was after. So my overall question now is since I have literally disappeared off the radar is her ego in shock? I want her to know she lost me and Im gone forever. I totally expect breadcrumbs to come again in the future one day but this time Im not biting.

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I'm sorry you're suffering. Looks like she is confused and doesn't know what she wants. You did well on ignoring her. She'll continue messing with you as long as you let her. I'd say, continue ignoring, get your divorce done and then block her from everywhere. Looks like she's highly unstable, and you deserve to find someone who truly loves you. She just wants to play with you. I'm sorry

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Heatemyheart89

Hi there

Sounds like you had a lucky escape to be honest . I wouldn't worry about her ego , she sounds messed up . When possible just ignore her and remove her from your life .

Best of luck

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I'm sorry you're suffering. Looks like she is confused and doesn't know what she wants. You did well on ignoring her. She'll continue messing with you as long as you let her. I'd say, continue ignoring, get your divorce done and then block her from everywhere. Looks like she's highly unstable, and you deserve to find someone who truly loves you. She just wants to play with you. I'm sorry

 

Oh I figured she was stringing me along like she doesnt want me but doesnt want anyone to have me. I just dont want to think that I fed her ego, or for her to feel like she could come back and have me at any moment because she cant...she chose this path with her selfish decisions. I feel as if one day she will try to make face to face contact, just because I know how she is and I could see her doing that. I just hope at that moment I can easily tell her I have nothing to say and please do not contact me ever again without it hurting me later.

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Oh I figured she was stringing me along like she doesnt want me but doesnt want anyone to have me. I just dont want to think that I fed her ego, or for her to feel like she could come back and have me at any moment because she cant...she chose this path with her selfish decisions. I feel as if one day she will try to make face to face contact, just because I know how she is and I could see her doing that. I just hope at that moment I can easily tell her I have nothing to say and please do not contact me ever again without it hurting me later.

 

Do what is best for you and stay true to yourself. Doesn't matter what she thinks. You don't have to face her If you don't want to. In fact, you don't have to see her face ever again. I hope you can be happy with your new girl

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Don't beat yourself up too much. We've all been there. It's hard when you still love someone to ignore them cold turkey. Also, since you rejected her offers at getting back together, I doubt her ego is doing that well at the moment.

 

You don't have children, right? That means you have no reason to maintain any kind of contact if you don't want to. Make a clean break and get on with your life. You deserve better than someone who would treat you this way.

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One of the most confusing breadcrumbs she said to me was "that she wasnt ok with never seeing me or never talking to me ever again, and would love for us to talk and occasionally get lunch." Seriously....I mean c'mon, you lie, cheat, divorce me, and think Im going to do that with you? I dont understand how her mind works. I asked her if the roles was reversed and that I did to her what she done to me, would she have anything to do with me? She said no.

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whichwayisup
One of the most confusing breadcrumbs she said to me was "that she wasnt ok with never seeing me or never talking to me ever again, and would love for us to talk and occasionally get lunch." Seriously....I mean c'mon, you lie, cheat, divorce me, and think Im going to do that with you? I dont understand how her mind works. I asked her if the roles was reversed and that I did to her what she done to me, would she have anything to do with me? She said no.

 

Wow, she's so selfish!

 

Good riddance, really it's for the best.

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Wow, she's so selfish!

 

Good riddance, really it's for the best.

 

The funny thing is weeks prior to that when she was still seeing the married man I emailed her and told her that she was losing me forever and I asked her if she was ok with never hearing from me or seeing me again and she answered YES!!! Then once she got dumped and realized she got played and used....she suddenly wasnt ok with never hearing from me or seeing me again.

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