I was in an abusive relationship...

[motive2002]

It took so long to fully realize this.

I just wish I knew of some way to rebuild my self

worth.

I missed so many signs. The neglect, the blaming. .

I was in some way manipulated to think. . to believe

that everything was my fault.

She could do no wrong.. I was assuming blame where I shouldn't. She withheld so much. Affection, time, sex...

all in a power play to have me see things her way.

Her way or the highway.

 

No one single person made me feel more confused, anxious, horrible about my appearance. . and then like the classic signs of any abuser, she would act sweet and kind for brief moments, giving me hope that it was up to me to fix things. Like if I was only better, I could get those sweet things again.

 

The damage is done. My self worth is in the toilet. I can be grateful at least that I am now more aware of this type of self-centered, narcissistic, un-empathetic personality type.. and can perhaps avoid it in the future.

 

I want to feel OK again. She'll never know how much damage she incurred, because as far as her mindset goes, she never did anything wrong, and could never be told otherwise.

 

Whomever has read this I thank you. I needed to vent. I need to remember why it is I'm here... in this space, and only accept people in my life that can offer kindness and respect.

 

 

I need to be better. It's seriously like suffering an illness

[elaine567]

Watch https://www.youtube.com/user/SPARTANLIFECOACH - lots of different videos exploring being with an abusive person and how to get back to normal life too. Helpful explanations and tips.

Not so dry and boring, as some of the stuff you may find out there.

He is a man, who had an abusive gf, so he understands.

 

Although a lot of his vidoes mention narcissism in the title, they are actually often pitched at all sorts of abusers, because some abusers are often a mixture of personality disorders.

[chasen_the_cycle]

motive, you're not alone man...I've been in an emotionally abusive (and once physically abusive) marriage for a short while now and I'm trying to figure out how to move away from it. I haven't had the exact same experience as you, but I definitely get the her-way-or-the-highway way of living...I get that almost every day from her. She plays a game of coming down on me no matter what I choose to do...if I choose to let her get ready in the morning uninterrupted, I get "you never talk to me"...if I choose to talk to her in the morning when she is getting ready, I get "JUST LET ME BE, I'm getting ready!" Can't win...

 

I'm not telling you that to hijack the thread, just wanted to let you know that there are many many cases of this going on, and I'm definitely in the club...it is sickening to be living this way.

[BlueIris]

I can be grateful at least that I am now more aware of this type of self-centered, narcissistic, un-empathetic personality type.. and can perhaps avoid it in the future.

 

I want to feel OK again. She'll never know how much damage she incurred, because as far as her mindset goes, she never did anything wrong, and could never be told otherwise.

 

Whomever has read this I thank you. I needed to vent. I need to remember why it is I'm here... in this space, and only accept people in my life that can offer kindness and respect.

 

I need to be better. It's seriously like suffering an illness

 

Congratulations on getting out. It’s an awful thing you just lived through. I felt the way you do. So many people have. And you’re very right- you’ll know what to look for and when you see it, a little “ping” will go off inside of you. You’ve just earned your degree in emotional manipulation techniques. The lesson will never leave you.

Know that no one can ever take away the essence of you. It might feel like she did or that she puts some dents in you, but you’re still there. You will feel ok again one day. Give yourself time.