Was this the right thing to do?

[irresolute]

Hello, I'm back here

 

Yesterday I blocked someone important in my life. I deleted everything, I blocked him on my iphone and on Facebook and on a dating site.

The reason: even though he said he love me last week, yesterday he told me he's not in love with me. And that's enough for me.

He was still on dating sites even though I told him I was not ok with that. Since we last seen each other, 5 days passed and he never sent me a text (he said he was busy).

Also: he had a valentine's gift in his kitchen (he told me it was not his), and last Saturday he hided me in the street because he saw someone (he told me he was not hiding me).

 

He "lovebombed" me for months, and when I said I loved him, he withdraw and left me alone.

 

I know I'm not perfect and I played games, I told him things to then change them, I didn't reply to some of his texts, and I played hard to get. HOWEVER, I was honest with my feelings.

 

He said he is not the person to fall in love with (even though last week he told me he loved me, he missed me, and we even planned some weekend at the beach for this Saturday which he never followed up, of course)

 

 

Now, please, I'm heartbroken again and can't see light. Life has become dark and sad and there's a HUGE hole in my soul.

 

Was blocking him the right thing to do?

[d0nnivain]

Blocking him was absolutely the right thing to do.

 

You are in the immediate grief stage. Give yourself some time to process everything.

 

Things will get better.

 

For starters consider him somebody who used to be important to you not somebody who still is important. He showed himself not being important to you.

[irresolute]

Blocking him was absolutely the right thing to do.

 

You are in the immediate grief stage. Give yourself some time to process everything.

 

Things will get better.

 

For starters consider him somebody who used to be important to you not somebody who still is important. He showed himself not being important to you.

 

Thanks so much for your reply, I really appreciate it. In moments like this everything is confusing and I second guess everything. Thank you so much again. I can't stop crying

[darkbloom]

He sounds like he is not good enough to be in your life. Hiding things is a big red flag, whether it be you or him or a Valentine's Day gift.

 

 

By saying he loves you but is not in love with you, he was basically going to string you along for awhile. Been there, done that.

 

 

It gets easier.

[irresolute]

He sounds like he is not good enough to be in your life. Hiding things is a big red flag, whether it be you or him or a Valentine's Day gift.

 

 

By saying he loves you but is not in love with you, he was basically going to string you along for awhile. Been there, done that.

 

 

It gets easier.

 

Thank you so much for your words. Reassuring me that blocking him from everywhere was the right thing to do gives me some peace. Thank you again.

[irresolute]

I'm trying to concentrate because I need to study for an exam tomorrow yet it's impossible.

 

I've lost my emotional support, my lover, my friend. I decided to continue my life without him, blocking him from every possible way of communication. There is absolutely no way he can contact me again ever.

And it hurts. Even though I told him I was going to block him, he said no, but I did it anyway. Because I was suffering and I considered it was not healthy being with someone that doesn't love me as much as I do.

 

I feel fooled, I feel sad, I feel hopeless. I've lost my emotional support, the one who had the right answers every time, the one with whom I felt the happiest when we were together. I've lost all that and I don't see a way of fill this enormous hole I feel right now. thanks for reading.

[quattrob]

You did the right thing to block him and get him out of your life. You don't want to be with someone isn't committed to you and just wants to keep you around for his own selfish reasons.

 

 

I know it's tough on you and you're going through a lot of pain and suffering. But you yourself like you said aren't perfect so I suggest you mature some more before seriously dating again. Playing the games you do is childish and pointless, it only works on boys and it doesn't work on a MAN that will treat you right. If you are seriously looking for a serious committed relationship, you need to stop playing your games because those only work on boys like that one that hurt you.

[irresolute]

You did the right thing to block him and get him out of your life. You don't want to be with someone isn't committed to you and just wants to keep you around for his own selfish reasons.

 

 

I know it's tough on you and you're going through a lot of pain and suffering. But you yourself like you said aren't perfect so I suggest you mature some more before seriously dating again. Playing the games you do is childish and pointless, it only works on boys and it doesn't work on a MAN that will treat you right. If you are seriously looking for a serious committed relationship, you need to stop playing your games because those only work on boys like that one that hurt you.

 

thank you for your words.

[SoThatHappened]

Just tell me this wasn't Johnny.

 

Either way, doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. You, and you alone, need to work on why it wasn't healthy. Why are you dating players?

[Satu]

You did exactly the right thing.

 

Here are some things that I did, that will help you:

 

 

1. Recognise that you're still in the crisis phase - you are very hurt, disappointed and angry, but the intensity of your feelings will reduce.

 

2. Don't suppress your feelings, or tell yourself that you shouldn't be feeling what you're feeling - that never helps.

 

3. Externalise your feelings by writing them down, talking to a trustworthy person, or using any other mode of expression that feels right.

 

4. Remind yourself frequently that you can and will have a good life without this person.

 

5. Tell yourself frequently that you can and will love again.

 

6. Take care of your body:

 

Eat enough and eat healthily.

Drink enough water. Thats 1.5 litres for a female.

Get a bit more rest than you think you need.

Do some easy exercise - nothing too strenuous.

If you feel physically unwell go to see your doctor.

 

7. Do not allow yourself to become socially isolated or withdrawn.

 

8. Establish Total No Contact with your ex. No contact directly, indirectly, or by social media.

 

9. Keep up with all your responsibilities and things you have to do.

 

10. Do not use alcohol or drugs in an attempt to self-medicate.

 

11. Post here as often as you want to. People here want to help.

[irresolute]

Thank you. Today is second day no contact and I feel extremely confused. I don't know what had happened, it's like a bad dream.

Curiously, my sleep is so much smooth than previous weeks, my anger had diminish, and I don't feel like everything it's out of control.

Still, I don't want to wake up, I haven't eaten in the whole day yesterday, I have burst of crying anytime, and I'm overal very sad and empty.

 

This no contact thing is not new for me, sowhathappened knows my story and I do have been struggling with no contact for more than one year.

Let's not start a discussion about my wrong choices. I fall one time, I wake up. I fall two, three, four times, I still wake up and walk. Sad part is I don't want to be vulnerable again with anyone else in my entire life. I've opened myself and now I'm hurt again.

[Jimmyjackson]

Thank you. Today is second day no contact and I feel extremely confused. I don't know what had happened, it's like a bad dream.

Curiously, my sleep is so much smooth than previous weeks, my anger had diminish, and I don't feel like everything it's out of control.

Still, I don't want to wake up, I haven't eaten in the whole day yesterday, I have burst of crying anytime, and I'm overal very sad and empty.

 

This no contact thing is not new for me, sowhathappened knows my story and I do have been struggling with no contact for more than one year.

Let's not start a discussion about my wrong choices. I fall one time, I wake up. I fall two, three, four times, I still wake up and walk. Sad part is I don't want to be vulnerable again with anyone else in my entire life. I've opened myself and now I'm hurt again.

 

That last bit, I know how you feel. I was telling my friend how I think if I was to get into another relationship it would take me a long time before I let someone in, just to avoid getting crushed again.

 

I've been NC for about 4/5 months now and for some bizarre reason, I've not stopped thinking about her all day and I've felt generally pessimistic. It does get better though, you did the right thing, keep faith and try keep yourself as busy as you can... I know it's difficult but all you can do is your best.

[irresolute]

That last bit, I know how you feel. I was telling my friend how I think if I was to get into another relationship it would take me a long time before I let someone in, just to avoid getting crushed again.

 

I've been NC for about 4/5 months now and for some bizarre reason, I've not stopped thinking about her all day and I've felt generally pessimistic. It does get better though, you did the right thing, keep faith and try keep yourself as busy as you can... I know it's difficult but all you can do is your best.

 

Are you in full no contact? (Not stalking, not looking at her pics, not having any sort of triggers?)

[Jimmyjackson]

Are you in full no contact? (Not stalking, not looking at her pics, not having any sort of triggers?)

 

Yep. Woke up today feeling great, just one of those moments I think we all get them, feeling nostalgic etc.

[irresolute]

3 day no contact today.

 

Curiously I'm feeling great. I wonder when will be Te next breakdown because this is so f.ucking unusual after a breakup. How come I'm feeling so good?

 

Well, things I've been doing so far, not sure if they helped me waking up feeling good today:

 

-Since breakup sleep has improved. I'm not nervous all night anymore.

-Two days with zero alcohol. I was drinking half bottle every night at home alone when with him.

-Every time I want to see if he's online I punish myself. I haven't done it yet because the thought just scared me to death, but I've told myself if I dare to stalk him, I'll have to look at a picture of a maggot inside an ulcer in the mouth.

My god.that keeps me away from stalking him from now.

-just thinking what he told me: "baby, I'm not the guy to fall in love with" is just so clear I don't need anymore explanations.

-I'm working out in half an hour.

 

Ok, that's my plan but I'm eating for a breakdown any minute. Feeling good is just not right. Ive never felt this way after my several three day no contact before.

[SoThatHappened]

Please stop dating men who are either OBVIOUSLY not dating material or flat-out TELLING YOU their not dating material.

 

If you continue to do this, you'll be too old and have too much baggage for an actual good guy to want to date.

 

My advice: Stay single for a year. Figure yourself out. Change your specifications on who you date.

 

It sucks now, and taking a year off doesn't sound fun, but you're more than young enough to do what I listed above.

[quattrob]

Please stop dating men who are either OBVIOUSLY not dating material or flat-out TELLING YOU their not dating material.

 

If you continue to do this, you'll be too old and have too much baggage for an actual good guy to want to date.

 

My advice: Stay single for a year. Figure yourself out. Change your specifications on who you date.

 

It sucks now, and taking a year off doesn't sound fun, but you're more than young enough to do what I listed above.

 

Based on her other posts, she's leaning towards being a drama queen and can't be alone, someone that has to be in a relationship to feel secure. I say this because she's allowing it to happen to her, she has full control on everything but she seems not to be able to resist the drama.

[irresolute]

I might like the drama, that's true.

 

today is day 4 no contact and I woke up feeling sad because all that happened. I question everything he said, everything he did. He's a monster in my mind, and that reasoning makes me feel sick.

I thought I was playing him, but he played me the whole time. I know I'm not jewel, and I lied to him as well, I was also insecure, but he played me well. He made me fall for him on purpose. I was his puppet. I think he's evil. He's the most evil person I've ever met in my entire life.

[quattrob]

I might like the drama, that's true.

 

today is day 4 no contact and I woke up feeling sad because all that happened. I question everything he said, everything he did. He's a monster in my mind, and that reasoning makes me feel sick.

I thought I was playing him, but he played me the whole time. I know I'm not jewel, and I lied to him as well, I was also insecure, but he played me well. He made me fall for him on purpose. I was his puppet. I think he's evil. He's the most evil person I've ever met in my entire life.

 

Read what you just wrote, you don't sound that innocent. You tried to play him but you got played, this is what you deserve so I don't know why you're all upset about him being a jerk?

 

You found someone evil, seems to suit you since you do enjoy doing the same thing he did to you. All actions has consequences, you chose to try and play with other's mind and play games, this is what you deserve.

Edited March 11, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[irresolute]

I'm on day 8 no contact. Yeah, counting days again. It's lkeva nightmare that repeats itself over and over.

I've deleted everything, included my AFF profile, all my social media etc. I'm busy with school and life but yet, he continues to pop in my mind all the time. I rewind and re think all over again, and every time I've got a different view. It's exhausting.

 

I miss him. Even though it was toxic, I miss him. I just have to remember his words over and over: baby, I'm not the guy to fall in love with.

 

The end.

 

I feel so lonely and dead now no plans for the weekend, no plans whatsoever. Just try to survive every day.

[SoThatHappened]

You can't be happy with anyone unless you're happy with yourself.

 

Period.

 

Try doing that first and stop looking to other people to make you happy. You have no plans for the weekend? Why not? Can't you do something alone and be happy?

 

If not, you're in for a lifetime of disappointment.