HBK3317 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 I am 25 going to be 26 in a few months. I thought I had found the love of my life and she would never leave me... I was head over heels for her. Just the thought of her brought a big wide smile on my face... I would have given up anything for her but she, she gave me up... I had my breakup six months back... Had been no contact since then but for the past two months I can't stop thinking about her... This is not my first break up but it happened at such a time that I am completely lost in life. I feel like I have failed in life. That I can never be happy again because I can never be with someone as beautiful and amazing as her. I... I am just lost. After that breakup I had posted a lot of Facebook messages like I lost the love of my life... Single not ready to mingle... And all sorts of bull****... I guess just to make her feel bad, jealous, something... I don't really know... I never do such things I keep my personal life to myself but at that point of time my emotions got the better of me and also the alcohol and drugs and I ended up doing what I did without realising it... But now when I think of it I feel like a complete fool and I feel as if I have sabotaged my image in front of my friends, colleagues , family not to mention her, her friends, her family... Though I don't live in the same place anymore but still my self esteem is very very hurt... I of course deleted them posts and have since deactivated my account. I just want to stop thinking about her... Everything makes me remind of her, and I mean literally everything. I just want to stop thinking about her and let go of that lingering hope that I might someday run into her and everything will end happily ever after... I want to stop feeling like crap because every time I look in the mirror I feel like a loser, an ugly duckling... Damn it! I am so ****ed up beyond any recognition! I was a fun loving, smart, confident guy... People loved being around me... I made everybody laugh around me... but now I am not even a shadow of my former self... I moved out of state and am living with my parents now. I don't want to talk to my friends because I am ashamed of that Facebook incident... I don't have a job but I am aiming for an exam which is due in 5 months. Obviously I can't study because of her thoughts clouding my brain and concentration. I wish I had never met her, never talked to her... But my stupid heart longs for her all day, all night... Even in my dreams... This can't go on any longer... I feel like I am going mad... I ain't brave enough to suicide and death won't come to me... Why am I feeling like this? Why can't I focus on myself? Why can't I let her go for good? I want her to be happy... I want her to end up with someone ten times better than myself... I want her to be successful... I don't want her to be hurt ever in life... But I want to be happy too... I want to be at peace and calm... I want to be me again... I don't think I will ever love again or open myself up to anybody like I did to her because I can't go through all of this again... The sleepless nights the haunted dreams the restless days... It's all too much for me... If you can please help me... Please Link to post Share on other sites
AprilTears Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Delete Facebook. I do not have a Facebook and don't feel as though I am missing out on anything. In your current state you don't need any additional reminders or ways to vent that everyone in your life will read. Come here and vent instead. Post here for support. Look, I know it isn't easy but you must focus on yourself. Have you tried speaking with a professional? I think that should absolutely be your next step. I believe that it will help you loads! It will not only help you to understand all of the thoughts and feelings you are having (and to learn they are a normal part of the process) but it will help you to get on with your life which is most important for you now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HBK3317 Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 Have you tried speaking with a professional? I think that should absolutely be your next step. I believe that it will help you loads! It will not only help you to understand all of the thoughts and feelings you are having (and to learn they are a normal part of the process) but it will help you to get on with your life which is most important for you now. okay professional help is something I don't want to seek... I mean don't get me wrong but seeing a shrink is not what I want to do... That's why I am here so that someone might help me look at things with an outsiders perspective... Anyways thanks for taking the time to reply. I appreciate the help. Link to post Share on other sites
AprilTears Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 okay professional help is something I don't want to seek... I mean don't get me wrong but seeing a shrink is not what I want to do... That's why I am here so that someone might help me look at things with an outsiders perspective... Anyways thanks for taking the time to reply. I appreciate the help. I get that but based on your post and what seems like lack of support as well as the time that has passed since your break up I do think it would help you. I'm actually considering it for myself this time around and I am scared to death to try it. But I am thinking about it. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I would def reach out for support like you did on here. Counseling is great, are your parents supportive? I understand how you feel: like you live and breath thoughts of this person and it's driving you mad. Is she open to talking to you and giving you closure? It sounds like that is what you need. What will probably happen: you will see her and the almost fake reality built up in your mind will crumble. You will be able to move on. Another option: write a letter to her saying you are moving on, that it isn't healthy for you (it isn't) and then burn that letter. ALSO. There are billions of women in this world, she is not your future. Look ahead. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I hate to say this but you are going to have to pretend she is dead. Mourn her and move on thinking you will never see her or talk to her again. Thinking the 'what ifs' will drive you mad and most likely will not happen. It's best to remove all hope from your mind of ever seeing or talking to her again and knowing you have no other choice in this world but to move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I ALSO. There are billions of women in this world, she is not your future. Look ahead. And lastly, remember the above. Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I think 6 months is too short of a time for complete healing. Also hope is the last to die. Also life is so big and busy and crazy, do you really think it sticks in peoples minds an old fb post? Dont you think people are familiar with the pain of a break up and know you may have been in some pain? Trust me its forgotten. I think your isolated right now because you aren't working, living at home...so what?! Its ok how you feel, probably the 1st several months you pushed it down so its coming up now because you're facing it. You may not have fully faced it and greived it. So its ok, embrace your sadness and know time is going to bring good things to you, a new job, a new place. You gotta push through right now and study. If possible look for a study group, cliff notes...you need the goal of this exam to help push you so you can start your life again. Dont worry, it will come together and your super normal and you will succeed in full healing. Not now....but its coming and you will look back at these days and be so glad you got through them. Chin up. ((Now please answer my post guys please, need support!!)) Link to post Share on other sites
Author HBK3317 Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 AprilTears:I wish you all the best April. I hope it helps. CrystalShine2011: Not as much as I would like them to be but it's okay at least they are giving me a roof on my head. I am thankful for that. And I really don't want to see her or talk to her again. I might need closure but the last thing I needis the phone being hung up on me... I will try your trick of writing that letter and burning it. Thanks Stillafool: I know that In my mind that I have no other choice and there are a billion others but my heart is conflicting it so so bad that at the end of the day I end up miserable. Privategal: You got through me. It is exactly like you say it is, the first few months I just neglected it but now it seems my brain is working against me! I will try hard to focus on my exam... Thanks for your kind words Thank you all for your replies. I really appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
Nolan 93 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 brother it is hard when you would never give up on them but then they do. I know the pain and it is still fresh, but remember we are all entailed to be happy and If they choose to leave let them. I finally realize that now, If they want to leave let them go and let them live their life with out you. My ex gf hurt me in a bad way by dumping me for her ex, and you know what I don't hate her for it. Its what she thinks will make her happy, but I know Im the better candidate and her loss. I will never be her friend down the road, cause I still have feelings for her. But just remember this, when we met our ex's we where strangers and after the break up we can easily become strangers again. But we are strangers with a past thats the only thing that changed in the end. You will get through this, just like me and all the others on this site. Link to post Share on other sites
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