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Forever growing frustraited and angry about everything..


ToastedHat

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First off; I'm not a bad guy, I do have my own morals and stick to them, even to some people I've met they say I'm one of the best guys they've ever met.

 

But, then my heart is bigger than my head at times, I act on passion over thought occasionally going the other way, I always end up trying again some things I know I should just leave and move on from.

 

For the greater half of my childhood I was friends with this kid called Aaron, admittedly we've always been friends since pre-school, but over the years all he ever did was push his weight around to make himself look 'top dog' seeing with him literally EVERYTHING was a competition, really what a lot would call a toxic friend. At the most part I never had a girlfriend nor really any other friends for that matter because of him, in one of many instances I made friends with this one kid from class then the next thing I know Aaron adds him, talks all this **** behind my back to them, and then I see them hanging around in school until Aaron being the egotist he is gets dropped then he just comes running back to me, imagine this for around eight years.

 

Around age 15 came something different; in the usual "Oi come hang out because I'm bored or I'll tell **** about you around school" **** we were attacked by about three older thugs in the street, we were already about three weeks off of having our final school exams then we are done to do what we like, but I ended up getting six broken fingers, a fractured skull, PTSD among others from that night because of them, what did Aaron do? Milk every everlasting drop out of it among twisting facts, I had about six people asking how I was, him? Near enough 100.

 

He started to become more arrogant since especially after that, even then to what a lot here in the UK call a 'chav', to go as far as to ride what would pass as a 12 year old's bike around streets sipping a can of cheap Tesco beer with just a tank top on, cigarette in mouth even though he doesn't even f***ing smoke.

 

I was already resenting him, already a year on from him milking our mugging, I was finished with him. He messaged me one night asking what I was thinking of doing later in the year, I said that I was going to go into telivision production media at the local college seeing I already have a place, what did he do? Literally sign up to the course just because he wanted to mess around with £2500 worth of filmmaking equipment and bother me further. (Even though, television production is something I want to do)

 

That term went past so slowly, being run over would of been more enjoyable than to sit next to him again. I rather not go on but as expected he picked fights with everyone, smashed equipment because 'hur hur it's funny', playing stupidly loud rave music in production meetings, even when I'm typing up paperwork shoving his fist in my face to get me to talk to him, I came so close to quitting that course so many times but I stuck through to the end.

 

Towards the end of the course I came onto age 17, it was around late 2012 and I met this absolutely amazing girl online, she was so easy to talk to we literally talked for about three weeks straight without getting bored, I then knew what love felt like. She was smart, around the same age just a few weeks younger, bubbly, soo amazingly gorgeous, AND local?? Was this a dream? (Note: I've had two prior relationships, but none lasted say over a week because of Aaron.)

 

So, I met up with her downtown after two months talking (Which is about a £6 train journey for me) and she was all of that and more, a month later I came back down and asked her to be my girlfriend, she said yes! Literally I felt such a weight off my shoulders, I was the happiest in years.

 

Word got back to Aaron about her, and what did he do behind my back? Add her over Facebook, start flirting with her like 'Ignore him he's a ****, he's the type of guy that'll beat you for sex hur hur' etc and loads of **** like that, did she believe it? Absolutely not, and when I questioned him about it, he had the audacity to then ask if I was willing to go on a triple date. (Aka: Me, her and him all go out together so he can hit on her infront of me to make me feel even more ****, which I said no to, then just let him continue talking **** about me behind my back to literally everyone else to further inflate his ego.)

 

After the course ended soon after (Thank ****ing ****) I then completely cut Aaron out my life then went on to actually exploring this relationship with this girl, and I haven't spoke to him since.

 

I just ... Well especially because of him he royally ****ed things up for me, both friend wise and everything else, along with the fact he literally still gets everyone ****ing else we went to school with talking to him still, and I haven't got even a single happy birthday in about four years from any of them, and to top it off from what someone else has told me; Aaron said the next time he see's me, he'll physically beat me up in the street, talk about egotistical.

 

Just, having him as a first friend has really screwed with my head, even though me and the girl never lasted we still do talk as good friends, and if anything she's now the only person I do talk to. Even in the class I am currently in I have had people ask if there's something up, as usually I just stick to myself.

 

Is there anybody that can just help me here?

 

Also: Apologies for the long story.

Edited by ToastedHat
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I think you must be about my son's age. ;)

 

He's had a rough go of it with friends, too, since childhood. He's really smart and sensitive, but he always seems to get stuck with these psychos who kind of torture him and treat him badly! So I really related to what you wrote, on his behalf anyway.

 

I'll tell you what I always tell him -- which is, I personally don't have any friends I grew up with or that I knew in high school who are still in my life today, many years later.

 

The REALLY important people in my life are mostly from college and my early 20's.... these are the people I value most. 30 years later, these are still my closest friends!

 

So, as you get older and start studying things you care about and having jobs and pursuing interests you care about.... you'll meet people who are more compatible than this Aaron guy (who clearly isn't compatible at all). These are the people you'll keep with you your whole life.

 

I think it's nice that you're still friends with this girl. It's good practice, and when you have your next girlfriend it'll be even easier to bond with her and open up because of your being so close already to another girl.

 

None of these experiences are wasted. They all help you figure out what you want in your future friendships and romantic relationships.

 

:)

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