update almost 2 years later

[solostman]

long story short:

relationship 6+ years

"love of my life, 100% dedicated and whipped"

(we were young, i'm 23 now)

towards end of relationship, left me for another guy

me= devastated, no self esteem, no friends (because i ditched them for that crappy controlling relationship), my life was just painful every second for a long while.

 

no contact 8 months, me trying to date other girls but still heart broken so i wasnt' really ready but I had fun.

she came back

me being stupid and still in love with her

took her back

got back together for about a year

was kind of a bad idea, had fun times

but just thinking about all the wrongs she did to me I questioned myself all the time and knew she wasn't deserving at ALL. Broke up with her, but we still talked/acted like dating and then

 

Around new years 2015 she broke it off about it not working, we really have different life plans she wants to move out of country

I'm perfectly fine here and want to raise a family here. Just big grown up important things that I know I could find someone more compatible.

 

this time around i'm like whatever about it, kind of glad because part of me wants to move on. No contact since January, saw her last christmas.

Things are going well for me, 2 new part time jobs making decent money, a new car from my mom, first day back in school today

I lost much more weight, I get A LOT of attention from girls. My coworker won't stop flirting with me and wants to take me home (if you know what I mean)

but she's not my type.

And honestly, I don't know if i'm ready for a relationship or could handle one.

 

Anyways, I did break contact on Valentines day wishing her a happy V day, just "Happy Valentines Day", she responded like at 2 in the morning so I had an idea what might be going on so i'm like whatever and quickly forgot about her.

 

Well tonight felt kind of down with all the stress of my new jobs and school and just no time anymore

checked her social media

 

saw some pictures with new people, guys (could just be friends), a valentines picture of the beach? nobody in it but idk why the hell am i spending time trying to put two and two together like if someone took her there I don't know.

 

It seems like she's regurgitating everything we did in a relationship and using my method of talking to people and "jocking" my humor all these things that just piss me off for some reason.

 

 

Why am I sad? I know it's normal to see an ex or think of an ex moving on or already dating so quickly.

 

I already know I don't want her in my life so much, Things are actually better I can do the things I want or talk to anyone I want without feeling like i'm being scrutinized.

 

I think it just hit me why I'm feeling kind of blue

 

I think it's

 

"why is she able to move on much quicker than I am?"

 

like find someone else to date right away etc.

 

I don't know so much has happened and I lost so much of myself and I know i'm back on track getting healthy, being out going again but I know i need time to get back to my normal healthy self.

 

I don't know why I'm typing here all I know is that I was screwing up texting her crap that i already forgot I said out of spite and deleted I know i shouldn't have.

 

 

What I really need is

advice to move on.

 

I really want to meet new people, form new relationships, take a girl out on a date.

I've never taken a girl out on a date besides my ex.

I guess I'm a hopeless romantic because when i'm not in a relationship I feel like I need one; or maybe my body is trying to find someone just because she might have found someone?

 

I don't know I already know it's done in the dust and I shouldn't even care that things are moved on her for her even though its' been like a month, she already screwed me over by leaving me for another guy.

 

I want her out of my life I don't want her to have a grip hold on my emotions. At times like this I feel out of control

but lately I don't even think about her nor get sad, only rare instances like this.

 

Any tips?

 

 

I feel old and unaccomplished, she ruined my school I could have been a nurse by now if she didn't screw me over during finals and i flunked and didn't go back to school for almost 2 years.

 

 

My life situation now:

 

Moved to a new city, no friends. Losing weight, 2 new jobs that I love, new car, back in school. Idk what I want in life right now I guess maybe just a partner / gf to explore things with. It's hard at this age, especially never being in the dating scene, etc.

 

Or maybe I just need to not even care and worry about myself.

 

 

I'm sorry this is all a mess.

Any tips or anything would help a lot.

 

I already know I messed up bad and shoudln't even care to look at her social media and check up on her if she doesn't even check up on me.

I'm so frustrated in how I can't just forget about this girl who isn't even worth any of my time

when there's plenty of beautiful women out there that I could marry some day :0(

[lostnadrift]

You're 23, so please you're not old, you have so many years ahead of you.

 

How can girls get over it so easily? You might want to check out the article war brides on the rational male