rice4lyfe Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 i've been with my girlfriend for a long time now and our relationship has been amazing, except for one thing. i can't let go of her sexual past. this in itself doesn't seem to be uncommon with guys, but there's more. for whatever reason, i am not at all bothered by her sexual relations with past boyfriends. it's just the hookups that bother me. i'm sure there's an explanation for this. can someone help me out with this? i just don't want something like this to stand in the way of our relationship thanks in advance Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 This is a maturity issue. As years go by, you're going to have more and more relationships and the older you and your significant others are, the more of a "past" you're going to have to accept. And not just past lovers.... but past husbands and kids who will remain in their lives forever. It's not a bad or a good thing, it's just life. Honestly, this might seem like a huge issue to you now. But as you get older you'll come to appreciate that your girlfriends' pasts make them who they are -- not just their sexual past, but their emotional past. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 It's your hang up. If you don't like her morality, stop dating her. You are not entitled to punish her for decisions she made prior to meeting you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 it's just the hookups that bother me. Why? Aren't women allowed to enjoy sex as much as men? can someone help me out with this? Yep. Break-up with her because she obviously isn't pure enough for you... i just don't want something like this to stand in the way of our relationship The "THIS" that is standing in the way of your relationship is YOU. Unless you can get over the fact that she is human and not some Virgin Mary who is only allowed sexual conjugation in the confines of a loving relationship, you will never have a positive relationship. Again, break-up with her. She deserves better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Why? Aren't women allowed to enjoy sex as much as men? Yep. Break-up with her because she obviously isn't pure enough for you... Lack of impulse control is one thing, and it goes both ways. It's easy to assume that guys can stick their junk in anything that breathes and get away with it. Society has somewhat dictated that that's OK. However, I've probably slept with less women than most women my age have slept with men. There's something to say about promiscuity vs. impulse control... The "THIS" that is standing in the way of your relationship is YOU. I prefer women who haven't ****ed every guy they've met. The one's I've met who have been promiscuous have all had issues of some sort, i.e. abandonment, personality disorders, lack of impulse control, STD's... I say, OP, if a woman's past bothers you, find another woman. Also, are you posting this because she is promiscuous or just hooking up without sex? And to CarrieT and others, I'm not calling you promiscuous or anything else. Just that some people have issue with others who have had a high number of sexual partners. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rice4lyfe Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 Why? Aren't women allowed to enjoy sex as much as men? Yep. Break-up with her because she obviously isn't pure enough for you... The "THIS" that is standing in the way of your relationship is YOU. Unless you can get over the fact that she is human and not some Virgin Mary who is only allowed sexual conjugation in the confines of a loving relationship, you will never have a positive relationship. Again, break-up with her. She deserves better. It's your hang up. If you don't like her morality, stop dating her. You are not entitled to punish her for decisions she made prior to meeting you. Yes, I am aware that this is all on me. I'm not trying to punish her. I'm not trying to say hookups are wrong, whether the person is a female or male. This really has nothing to do with her. I'm looking more for answers on how to improve myself other than "grow up". Maybe elaborate a little more on the maturity/growing up. I'm also trying to figure out why something like this even bothers me in the first place. I don't see any logical reason as to why it would, even if it is a maturity thing. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 It's a double standard whore / Madonna thing. Women get punished for liking sex yet men want a woman who is very sexual but they expect that experience & desire will just magically materialize once she meets them. All I can suggest is you clear your mind & focus on the fact that she chose to be with you now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Have you ever had hook ups or one night stands? Maybe how you view sex and intimacy is different than her view on it. She's okay with casual sex and it just being sex, no feelings or attachments where as it's possible you are more into commitment, feelings and sex being intimate, not casual. ? Link to post Share on other sites
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