CrystalShine2011 Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 Last March from complications with diabetes, she passed in her sleep. We had dinner the night before and watched the Walked Dead together as usual. We were very close and knew each other for 7 years (I actually met her through her younger brother who I dated for a short bit right out college) I'm wondering what is wrong with me: I never let myself think about it, feel emotion regarding what happened, or cry. I have not been able to visit her grave since the funeral. I feel "fine" as a person, life has moved in a positive direction. But every time my mind starts to remember her it closes off and I go to the next thought. I can tell it leaves me sad overall. Does this even make sense? I don't have money for a counselor or therapy right now. But perhaps others have gone through this and have advice for me? Thanks all. Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 You're mourning her in your unique way. Grieving is never linear. Everyone grieves differently I feel. Don't beat yourself up over it. Mourn her loss, but remember, she'd want you to be moving in a positive direction as you are. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CrystalShine2011 Posted February 22, 2015 Author Share Posted February 22, 2015 Thank you - I appreciate the comment. I hope I'm grieving in general though? I really couldn't tell you if I have or not. I just miss her. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 just remember that she will always be with you no matter what. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CrystalShine2011 Posted February 22, 2015 Author Share Posted February 22, 2015 That's true. Link to post Share on other sites
littlesister1234 Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 I know how you feel. I lost my mom to cancer 3 years ago. I think I felt more bad about moving on with my life and spending little to no time thinking about her. In my case though, I shut out the trauma of losing my mom and tried to keep myself busy with other things going on. I will admit however, after three years, I find myself grieving now. I cry a lot when I think about her now, and I wish almost everyday now that I could just have one more day with her, or hear her voice one more time. My condolences for your loss, and however you grieve, I hope you find peace. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CrystalShine2011 Posted February 22, 2015 Author Share Posted February 22, 2015 Thank you for saying that - I hope you find the healing you need as well. Link to post Share on other sites
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