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Where are you ?


Jonnywalton

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I don't know if this helps but after 6 (yes 6) painful breakups in my life I think the phases of recovery might be...

 

 

 

1. Shock and agony - constant intense pain. Utter loss. Cant sleep or eat, Not functioning. (Hopefully this is the shortest phase)

2. Low -. recurring painful thoughts. miserable but just about functioning

3. Signs of Healing - Still fragile. Vulnerable to negative triggers. But some moments when you feel you are coming back.

4. Healed - you're back ! Positive thoughts about the future and able to smile about the past.

 

 

Where are people? Are people stuck in a phase? I feel I'm moving from 2 to 3 but you can drop back. I think the only thing that moves you through really is time. Doing all the right things might speed it up. NC, Live well, socialise etc.

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4months post BU and I think I'm a good 2, no painful memories but I have positive thoughts :) slowly healing by working on myself and trying to get him out of my mind:o

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Today I am a 3...not getting my hopes up I will stay a 3...or that 4 is right around the corner. I was with him for 7 crazy years...the bonds we had and the wounds I received run deep...but today I have some hope..and every day I have hope I am so grateful.

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Between stages 1 and 2, right in front of stage 3. Today is the first day I felt really angry at her for leaving me twice. Instead of missing her, and wanting to beg. I am mad at her for lying to me about how she would never leave me, and how proud she was that we always wanted to work through our problems. Things get tough in her life, and she bails on me. I couldn't have been the problem both times.. (could I?) :o

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I feel like I am a 3 most of the time, slipping back to a 2 once in a while (like yesterday and today) due to unforeseen circumstances.

 

Looking forward to 4, hoping it's not too far away.

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2 months NC got me to a solid 3. But breaking NC two days ago sent me right back to 1-2. I had to do it, knew this was likely going to be the result. Back to NC for good.

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I'm pretty sure I am at #3, some moments I am at #2 (not days, just periods of time e.g. hours or minutes). It has been over a month since my relationship went down in flames.

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