Jonnywalton Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I am still in the miserable phase of getting over a girl I knew for 6 months but only dated for 2 weeks!. Slowly coming out of it thankfully. It led me to ask myself would I rather not have met her, or kissed her, or laughed with her, etc etc ?? and the answer was no way. Does anyone wish they'd never met the person?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sad26 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 All the time ! I wish some of the things would not have happened, not been in the same building, or the same party and life would have had lesser hurt. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Justm3x Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Yes.... absolutely People say " you cant say, I wish I'd never met them" they say think of the memories you made or think of it as a learning curve..... NO THANKS, i would rather never have met him and had 8 years of something else that wouldn't have been as hurtful as im feeling now. Link to post Share on other sites
The Poster Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I go back and forth with this in my head. On one hand, I'm grateful for meeting her because she inspired me and brought a light to me in a dark time in my life. But on the other hand, having to deal with the pain of losing her while I'm trying to get out of this dark place is too much to handle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sad26 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 If I had a time machine then I would go and delete that meeting. No happiness can be worth the pain and the torture, which I am going through now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmyjackson Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 100% glad I met her yes, it has been my first break up and I have learned a lot from it. There are certain things I look back on and I know now that I'd handle them differently. It's good to be in relationships, it's all trial and error really. You learn from each one things you like and dislike, what to look for in the next and not to look for etc. Don't become that guy who regrets his past, you met someone and it didn't work out, happens to people all around the world every day. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
The Poster Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I do think this question is better asked when people are healed, because right now it's the pain that's driving the answers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Nope. I was always able to find a positive take-away from every relationship. Some taught me skills. Others gave me insight into myself. Do I wish I could have avoided the emotional pain, sure. But I do try to look on the bright side. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I'll say this---after experiencing that loss, I think I'm better prepared for the loss of my mother whom I'm very close to. I know what the journey of deep grief feels like. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Light Breeze Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Agree with donnivain and sycamore. People tend to forget that the otherside of heart break is learning, growing, and being stronger. No regrets for me too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonnywalton Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 100% glad I met her yes, it has been my first break up and I have learned a lot from it. There are certain things I look back on and I know now that I'd handle them differently. It's good to be in relationships, it's all trial and error really. You learn from each one things you like and dislike, what to look for in the next and not to look for etc. Don't become that guy who regrets his past, you met someone and it didn't work out, happens to people all around the world every day. Yes this is pretty much how I feel. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Yeah, I wish I'd never met her right now. My college life may have been a little different. I was okay with not knowing what it was like to have a girlfriend. It sucked, but I lived with it. Now I have to live knowing how awesome things were, and live with not having that ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
Ieris Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I'm all healed now and it's weird because I don't just think about the last ex, I think about all the other ones aswell. I regret meeting most of them but there are a few who I am glad to have met and will always think of them fondly x Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 That's hard. My last ex and I went on some really cool trips together which I more than likely never would have done on my own. But I also felt like I would die once we broke up. It's hard to say if the pain of our breakup was worth the fun times. I wish I had those fun times without him, but I can't go back and change it now. Now that I'm almost completely over the guy though, I can say that I'm glad I had the opportunities I had with him. I've got photos and memories (that don't include him even though he was there) that will last forever, and the pain of that break up definitely won't last forever. So I guess I don't wish I had never met him even if he was a horrible person who made me miserable for a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I don't regret meeting her at all. I do regret not seeing the red flags early and looking back there were plenty! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Marco Valerio Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Yes sure. Sometimes I wish I had the option to avoid the day I met her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Nascarfan Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I don't regret it. We had great times together and I've learned so much from the experience. We were together for a reason and we split up for a reason. Link to post Share on other sites
persevere Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Absolutely. Also, I regret not doing things a bit differently, though the end result would've likely been the same regardless. It sure does beg the question "why even bother" in the future. I know that's defeatist and cynical, but the pain from a breakup can be far worse than the occasional loneliness of staying single. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sober and dry Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 God damn no, they meant so much at a point that I can regret it. But yeah... Sadly I can think of some situation were it's totally natural to regret knowing them at all. Lucky me I was never in that kind of situation until this day but sure there are people who had. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fronk Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 No, as I am a better person regardless of what she did to me at the end. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Oneness Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Right now, I really regret ever having met my ex. He left me with PTSD, and I sacrificed so much for too long...and I fear I am ruined for life. I don't know myself anymore...I am empty and lifeless inside. Each day the pain drains me, and I don't want to ever have another relatoinship again. In the end...the bad outweighed the good...so yeah, I wish I never met the crazy, vicious, violent, vindictive, sexy, gorgeous, intelligent, charismatic, demon.... Link to post Share on other sites
freebird31 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 At first I would say that I was glad I met him because the experience made me who I am. But now, I can say I wish I never met him. I wish that whole part of my life never existed because nothing positive came out of it. I'm in pain a lot of the times. It's been almost 2 years since we have broken up. Yet still, can't find it in me to fully move on to another. To be honest meeting him, and him breaking my heart has ruined me. I'm not the same. And no, it's not a positive thing. Maybe I'm one of those people that meets their true love when they are older ..in their mid thirties or whatever. Bc I can't find it in me to move on to another. My ex f***ed me over. And it has messed with me and my ability to love or whatever again. It is what it is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Somehow this thread reminds me of what I wrote yesterday about what for me falling in love means: 'When you fall in love the rest of the world seems to disappear. It is a feeling of joy that you experience when you look in her eyes and the moment you realize that her stare and the depth in her eyes were what you were looking for all your life. Love can be so intense that it hurts and we know that it will hurt at some point as it is that intense. But we just do not care, as the sharing is the best and most beautiful experience that you can think off and never even though being possible. It is worth all the pain in the world, as the though of having missed such a beautiful thing just cannot imagined and would be even worse. It is this conscious realization of surrender and vulnerability that I call falling in love' 1 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 meeting him was hell, I give you that. but the truth is I have brought it upon me. Me. Myself. The only reason that makes me glad I met him was because now I know exactly what I do NOT want. what I do NOT stand for. He brought out the worst in me. But ... in all honesty, those bad things, that weakness was in me to begin with. I have let him happen to me. of course I wish I had never met. Luckily it allowed me to know myself much better. Unluckily it wiped 6 months of my life and left some vivid scars. And it ain't nobody's fault by my own. never again, I tell you that . eyes wiiiiide open ! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 The psychologist and Nobel price winner Daniel Kahneman writes in his book from 2011 about thinking : ‘A comment I heard from a member of the audience after a lecture illustrates the difficulty of distinguishing memories from experiences. He told of listening raptly to a long symphony on a disc that was scratched near the end, producing a shocking sound, and he reported that the bad ending “ruined the whole experience.” But the experience was not actually ruined, only the memory of it. The experiencing self had had an experience that was almost entirely good, and the bad end could not undo it, because it had already happened. My questioner had assigned the entire episode a failing grade because it had ended very badly, but that grade effectively ignored 40 minutes of musical bliss. Does the actual experience count for nothing?’ I do not want to preach in any way here, but my previous experiences in life have taught me that everything in life has a prize. I was expecting my loving would hurt me at some point when I allowed myself to fall in love: as hurt is the prize of loving. I do think that there is some kind of balance in the universe. What I did not expect was that the hurt would find me this fast, that it would be in this way and this severe. I also still do not understand why it seems not allowed for me at this point in time to be happy with someone else. The scenario of Freebird31 is what I thought my last experience would be, but it is was a big no yet again. I think I am close to being healed, or perhaps I am. But I still would like to go back in time and repeat my time with her as the experience was bliss. Link to post Share on other sites
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