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Finding it harder to cope as tomorrow was our "Anniversary"


JackJackxD

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I has been over 4 months since our break up (2.5 years relationship), and I still haven't healed properly yet. However, I stopped contacting her a little bit over a month ago, and has been trying to get on with life. I wouldn't call life great at the moment, but I am...surviving I guess. xD

 

Tomorrow would be our 3rd year anniversary, and I don't know why, as it gets closer to this date I keep thinking about her more and more. It feels like I've hit a relapse in my healing again, and everything is back to stage one. It feels like the break-up only happened yesterday. I would remember how this date would be my phone's password, and it still is. I guess I got so used to the buttons that I just kept it even though we broke up. It got upsetting when I realised that those numbers no longer carried a special meaning behind them, and they are just a chain of digits. I also remembered how we would write on each other's anniversary cards "I hope we spend the next anniversary together!", and now it is all just empty promises and dreams.

 

I started reading our messages during and after the break-up. You know when people watch scary films even though they are scared? Or people that go on roller coasters even though they are scared of height? That is exactly what I am doing right now. I don't know why I am doing it, but I felt like I had to. After reading it I just broke down in tears. There is so much emotion going around I didn't know how to handle it. Now I am left with a wet pillow and a blocked, red nose.

 

I feel a lot better after letting everything out, but I am still dreading tomorrow. I have to go into University and will be seeing her. I just hope that life treats me well and I won't be "cut" too badly tomorrow. I can't imagine the pain I would be in when I go in and see that she has totally forgotten about this date and has happily moved on.

 

Any advises on what I can do to cope right now? And what mentality I should be in tomorrow so I don't hurt myself by thinking too much?

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hangingbyathread

:( that is crappy.. I am sorry that you are going through this atm.. All break ups are hard and i think probably harder if you wernt ready to let go? I can't give much help on how to heal as i have freshly been walked out on by my fiance...but some things that have helped me in the past and atm are these...

 

* Try to learn something new (keeps your mind occupied

* watch documentaries about inspiring people or children (makes you feel lucky)

* take up a new hobby

* Keep a journal and write about how you feel every day

* talk about it until it feels like its just a story you are telling...

*draw...or color in if you can't draw.

* nice hot baths with meditation/ nature sounds playing...

 

as for dreading seeing her...is it possible to skip that class for now? i would imagine you are not ready to see her.. I hope some of this helps!

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I has been over 4 months since our break up (2.5 years relationship), and I still haven't healed properly yet. However, I stopped contacting her a little bit over a month ago, and has been trying to get on with life. I wouldn't call life great at the moment, but I am...surviving I guess. xD

 

Tomorrow would be our 3rd year anniversary, and I don't know why, as it gets closer to this date I keep thinking about her more and more. It feels like I've hit a relapse in my healing again, and everything is back to stage one. It feels like the break-up only happened yesterday. I would remember how this date would be my phone's password, and it still is. I guess I got so used to the buttons that I just kept it even though we broke up. It got upsetting when I realised that those numbers no longer carried a special meaning behind them, and they are just a chain of digits. I also remembered how we would write on each other's anniversary cards "I hope we spend the next anniversary together!", and now it is all just empty promises and dreams.

 

I started reading our messages during and after the break-up. You know when people watch scary films even though they are scared? Or people that go on roller coasters even though they are scared of height? That is exactly what I am doing right now. I don't know why I am doing it, but I felt like I had to. After reading it I just broke down in tears. There is so much emotion going around I didn't know how to handle it. Now I am left with a wet pillow and a blocked, red nose.

 

I feel a lot better after letting everything out, but I am still dreading tomorrow. I have to go into University and will be seeing her. I just hope that life treats me well and I won't be "cut" too badly tomorrow. I can't imagine the pain I would be in when I go in and see that she has totally forgotten about this date and has happily moved on.

 

Any advises on what I can do to cope right now? And what mentality I should be in tomorrow so I don't hurt myself by thinking too much?

 

Its very painful and we cope differently and on different time tables...

All I can say is the pain goes away, but her memory remains...

There are no good or bad advice really...

The truth is, time will heal you...

 

Absence of love broke your heart...

and only love can mend it back...

Its difficult to let go...

But we really have no choice...

 

We just have to live with the pain...

Suffer day to day...

Struggle keeping NC...

But later on it will lessen...

 

I think the main objective is to "Let Go"...

Make ourselves emotionally available again...

Reaching a capacity to trust and love again...

And life will be all good...

 

We are with you Brother...

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Healing is not a straightforward process. It's one step forward, two steps back & this anniversary is a two step back point.

 

Stop reading the messages & find something to do to keep yourself busy.

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