bigtrouble Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 5yrs LTR - 38days after BU - 20days NC I felt so sad and missing her... I needed a quick fix... I was like shaking a bit... I wanted to talk to her... Thought about it for 2hrs and called her up... I just wanted to talk... When she recognized my voice... She hung up and turned off the Cellphone... I ended up feeling worst... I shouldn't have called her up... Now I regret it... Nothing good came out of it... How can someone I have known for 5yrs... Be so cold and callous... Its like I did nothing good for her... I was always there when she was down... She cut me loose when I needed her most... Why the heck, can't I get mad/angry at her... After all she lied, cheated and dumped me... It would be easier to forget if I can hate her... Mr. Nice Guy just don't work... Word of advice --> never break NC unless you can take it, because the pain does come back and sets back all your progress...And you will end up feeling worst... Link to post Share on other sites
Marco Valerio Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Don't worry too much, it was just tripping over a stone in your path. Now get up, clean yourself and continue walking. Cheer up friend!!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigtrouble Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 Thanks... I knew I shouldn't have tried to call... But it was a moment of weakness... I needed a fix... Instead I got another rude awakening... Link to post Share on other sites
Marco Valerio Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 What you feel is totally normal, sometime I also want to contact my ex gf (she also was a liar and a cheater). Isn't that crazy? hahaha ...us,wanting to keep contact with such horrible people? Trust me, you might not see it now, but you don't want a cheater and a liar in your life as a partner, it wouldn't go anywhere. Whenever you want to text her, text us, we'll be far more kind 6 Link to post Share on other sites
towardthefuture Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Oooff!! Rough one. That's okay, who cares what she thinks. Get back up on that horse, feel what you've gotta feel and take a step forward tomorrow. Remember next time you want to break NC that last time it was a 'bad move'! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FixItCris Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Don't worry man, I think everybody does it once. I did. And even though we had a conversation I still felt crap a few days later and set back in my recovery. Chalk it up as a learning experience, and use it as fuel next time you feel like you need one more fix. It really is like the worst drug withdrawal 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Light Breeze Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I think it happens to most of us. At least now you know nothing good can come out of it. Stay strong, brother. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 now you know, it kind of helps in the long run. I remember when I broke nc and it was just a cold voice telling me to leave her alone. I never contacted her again since that day and its coming upon 7 years 1 Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Bigtrouble, I came to Loveshack after I have done most of those fails and Already knew they don't work. You have Loveshack now, use it. This site had a lot of merit when I was redefining my personality And boundaries after breakup devastated me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigtrouble Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 Thanks for all your warm words... I appreciate it very much... I hope these lapses become less and less... Love is so addictive its like a withdrawal symptom... I just sometimes feel a need for a quick fix... I hope I get pass this... I'm doing my best to distract myself... but she just keep popping in my head... Sometimes, I just feel I want to talk to her... I just miss her so much... but it gets less and less every day... Link to post Share on other sites
lawbstar Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Don't worry, bigtrouble. You'll okay, and you will get through this. You are still pretty early on after the break up. All these feelings you have are normal. I know that this may be hard to believe, but with time, everything will get better as long as you want everything to get better . These lapses will become less and less. You just have to make sure that you learn from your mistakes. The biggest mistake that anyone can make is not learn from their mistakes. Sometimes people need to make mistakes to realize that they are mistakes. However, once you realize what mistakes you have made, just learn from them and never make the same mistake again . Just because you want a quick fix does not mean that that is the best fix for you. You may want to go back to being with her because you are used to being with her. 5 years is a long time my friend. It will take time to heal, but you will get there. It is normal that she pops into your head because you have been together for so long. However, just keep yourself as busy as you can. Do what you have always wanted to do. Go exercise, read, watch movies, meet new people, anything! She will still come back into your head, but sooner or later, you will be able to deal with that, and her popping into your head won't matter as much anymore. It is also normal to want to talk to her and miss her. You've known her for so long. I am very glad to hear that it gets less and less every day. I am sorry if this last part is a little harsh, but if you ever need something to help you from keeping yourself from contacting her, think of it this way. She doesn't want to talk to you. She hung up when she heard your voice because she doesn't want to hear what you have to say, and that is okay. You don't need to talk to her. She doesn't need to know how you're doing, and you don't need to know how she's doing. You don't need her to be in your life to have a great life. At times like these, I find that people tend to appreciate more of the things that they do have in their lives (i.e. family, friends, work, hobbies, anything). Keep coming back to LS, and stay strong, friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigtrouble Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 Don't worry, bigtrouble. You'll okay, and you will get through this. You are still pretty early on after the break up. All these feelings you have are normal. I know that this may be hard to believe, but with time, everything will get better as long as you want everything to get better . These lapses will become less and less. You just have to make sure that you learn from your mistakes. The biggest mistake that anyone can make is not learn from their mistakes. Sometimes people need to make mistakes to realize that they are mistakes. However, once you realize what mistakes you have made, just learn from them and never make the same mistake again . Just because you want a quick fix does not mean that that is the best fix for you. You may want to go back to being with her because you are used to being with her. 5 years is a long time my friend. It will take time to heal, but you will get there. It is normal that she pops into your head because you have been together for so long. However, just keep yourself as busy as you can. Do what you have always wanted to do. Go exercise, read, watch movies, meet new people, anything! She will still come back into your head, but sooner or later, you will be able to deal with that, and her popping into your head won't matter as much anymore. It is also normal to want to talk to her and miss her. You've known her for so long. I am very glad to hear that it gets less and less every day. I am sorry if this last part is a little harsh, but if you ever need something to help you from keeping yourself from contacting her, think of it this way. She doesn't want to talk to you. She hung up when she heard your voice because she doesn't want to hear what you have to say, and that is okay. You don't need to talk to her. She doesn't need to know how you're doing, and you don't need to know how she's doing. You don't need her to be in your life to have a great life. At times like these, I find that people tend to appreciate more of the things that they do have in their lives (i.e. family, friends, work, hobbies, anything). Keep coming back to LS, and stay strong, friend. One thing for sure I am a part of her life that she does not want to remember or go back to... Its more difficult to let go when someone you love and care about for years, looks on you with indifference and hate... I went to a meeting at work and saw a face that resembled my Ex... I keep staring at her, I'm not falling in love or wanting her... But looking at her face did take away my pain... I'm letting go but I want it to go slow... I am different, I can let go and detach myself... I am one of the very few who would like to be friends with an Ex... where we can just slowly detach ourselves... Until nothing remains... Link to post Share on other sites
Light Breeze Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I am different, I can let go and detach myself... I am one of the very few who would like to be friends with an Ex... where we can just slowly detach ourselves... Until nothing remains... You just need to cope with it, because even if you want to be friends and slowly detach, it seems your ex has a different idea. It's hard to swallow but she made a choice to totally cut you off her life. Now, you're forced to implement plan B and that's going NC and healing by yourself. Stay strong, brother. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 . nothing remains... The faster you accept this as your reality,the better off you'll be! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigtrouble Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 You just need to cope with it, because even if you want to be friends and slowly detach, it seems your ex has a different idea. It's hard to swallow but she made a choice to totally cut you off her life. Now, you're forced to implement plan B and that's going NC and healing by yourself. Stay strong, brother. Yes it is true, all those quick fixes never last... I get a relief for a day, then the hurt comes back... NC is really better... Link to post Share on other sites
Oneness Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I hope you are feeling better today...love addiction is real, but you can heal from it. Just stay NC and let time heal you. Try not to over think things about the relationship and break up. If you are dying for that fix from her, just to heal her voice, any kind of conection - write here on the boards, start a journal, talk to friends. If you need to grieve, do that as well, and realize it is a process that has an ending. Mosy of all, don't beat yourself up for what you did! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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