Jewels7 Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 So it has been a little over 8 months since I left my ex. Despite him showing major character flaws, and being mean and vicious... I still love him. Everyone thought it was a good idea for me to go on casual dates with "nice men" and that it would help me get over my ex. So I tried. Last night I went on a 2nd date with someone I met online dating. He's so nice and cute and funny. We went out for drinks (I only had 2 with a lot of water and food in between since I was going to drive home). I had such a nice time, and at the end of the night... He kissed me. All I could think about was my ex. On the way home I was so upset why I can't get over this "man" and would it forever be like this, that I didnt even notice I was speeding. I got pulled over and a speeding ticket for the first time in my life. To make matters worse when I noticed the lights behind me it took me a few minutes before I safetly pulled over (I don't have the best eyesight in the dark (plus being nervous) and I missed a good turn off place. He sounded the siren at me right when I was finally about to turn into a parking spot). He asked me if I had a good reason why it took me so long to pull over and when I said no he asked if I had been drinking. Since I told him I had a glass of wine earlier he gave me a breathalyzer test (I blew a 0.00). Nothing like that has ever happened to me in my life. I was so humiliated and in the end I told him I was sorry and I had a lot of things on my mind but that it doesn't excuse it. He was nice and told me it was okay and to just drive safe. But I'm still humiliated. And all because I was upset over my ex and still am. I just want to know when this will stop. And maybe I shouldn't even do casual dating after all. Thanks for listening to my sob story :/ Link to post Share on other sites
lil hoodlum Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 Awe jeeze. That does sound like a horrible experience. Somebody above was looking out for you so that you didn't go to jail or worse. You will be ok. Sometimes a bad event like this is needed to spur a change in us. About the ex, sometimes it takes longer for others to detatch emotionally from others even though we know it is for the best. Be kind to yourself. You will let it all go when the time is right for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jewels7 Posted January 18, 2015 Author Share Posted January 18, 2015 Thank you for your response. My mom said the same thing to me. She would rather him have pulled me over than getting in a wreck for being distracted and upset while driving. That's true. I guess ultimately I'm not ready to date and that proved it. I mean, yes, it was probably good that I got those "firsts" out of the way. I just can't handle it right now though. I feel like I'll never be ready and never feel what I felt for my ex. And my heart hurts because I just had to tell a really awesome guy that I just don't think I'm ready yet and I don't want to hurt his feelings Link to post Share on other sites
StalwartMind Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 I can understand the feeling of being humiliated by the situation, but like said it was good nothing else happened. The guy handled it quite well too, which I feel is a good experience to see too, because an experience like that should not really stand in the way of getting to know someone well. Perhaps this is exactly what you need at the moment instead of dating, as that will make you be too focused on your ex. If you can find a friend, who you can see potential in, but don't expect anything of, besides just having a fun and good time when you go out, this could be the key to you naturally and slowly filling your mind with new and happy experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
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