tuxedo cat Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 (edited) I texted my ex today. In doing so I broke a promise to myself. He didn't respond to my text and I felt the expected feelings. This is getting shameful. We broke up over two years ago and I haven't moved on. If I want to get better, I absolutely need to resolve never to speak to him again. It's the only way. Here's to day one. Edited January 16, 2015 by tuxedo cat 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bigtrouble Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 2years is a long time, you owe it to yourself to live fully, put the past behind and turn a new chapter in you life, it gets better. Link to post Share on other sites
Marco Valerio Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 What's your relationship background? Can you tell us a bit more? For sure, if you aren't in a better place after two years, you should change the way you are handle it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 I texted my ex today. In doing so I broke a promise to myself. He didn't respond to my text and I felt the expected feelings. This is getting shameful. We broke up over two years ago and I haven't moved on. If I want to get better, I absolutely need to resolve never to speak to him again. It's the only way. Here's to day one. Tux, is this the same guy that was basically stringing you along after the breakup? I remember responding to your thread a year ago and feeling for you because our situations were similar. If so, you are better than that. NC has been the best thing that happened to me, and I've been NC for over a year. Basically, I'm now just living my life and not even considering it NC. Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 I'm sorry )= I'm at like 17 months post BU and I still sometimes get bogged down about it. It takes time to heal from the hurt. Not everyone bounces back quickly. You will most definitely fall in love again and end up completely over your ex. Best wishes (= 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted January 16, 2015 Author Share Posted January 16, 2015 Tux, is this the same guy that was basically stringing you along after the breakup? I remember responding to your thread a year ago and feeling for you because our situations were similar. If so, you are better than that. NC has been the best thing that happened to me, and I've been NC for over a year. Basically, I'm now just living my life and not even considering it NC. Yup. Same dude, and I remember your kind responses. I'm really happy to hear you're doing better. It also gives me some hope that I can put him behind me with NC. How long of NC did it take you to really get over him? The longest I've managed so far is 3 months. Do you think you'd be strong enough to turn him down if he waltzed back into your life? I want to get to that place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted January 16, 2015 Author Share Posted January 16, 2015 What's your relationship background? Can you tell us a bit more? For sure, if you aren't in a better place after two years, you should change the way you are handle it!!! We broke up two years ago. He strung me along and tried to use me as an emotional tampon for over a year after. I would go for jags of NC (a few months) and then cave and text him. I didn't have the strength to cut him off completely. Now I think, hope, that I'm ready to. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 We broke up two years ago. He strung me along and tried to use me as an emotional tampon for over a year after. I would go for jags of NC (a few months) and then cave and text him. I didn't have the strength to cut him off completely. Now I think, hope, that I'm ready to. Has he replied to you in the last 2 years? Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Yup. Same dude, and I remember your kind responses. I'm really happy to hear you're doing better. It also gives me some hope that I can put him behind me with NC. How long of NC did it take you to really get over him? The longest I've managed so far is 3 months. Do you think you'd be strong enough to turn him down if he waltzed back into your life? I want to get to that place. It took me a year of NC to get over him, by which I mean that I no longer had romantic feelings for him. I no longer love him and can't remember what it felt like to love him. For a very long time, I was so worried he would come back and try to manipulate or sweet talk me back into a relationship. Only in the past few months did I truly feel that I would be able to resist him. I recently found out he got engaged last May, and I felt a huge sense of relief. He was most likely talking to this woman while he was stringing me along, and I know, for a fact they met while we were still together. NC does work if you give it time. IMO, the 3 month mark is really hard because reality is setting in. That's when you are likely to break it, but it gains power over time if you stick with it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 Has he replied to you in the last 2 years? Yep. For almost a year and a half he would hit me up for no strings attached sex, and one summer he called me every day and want to talk for hours on the phone. It's only in the last six months that our communication has fizzled out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted January 17, 2015 Author Share Posted January 17, 2015 It took me a year of NC to get over him, by which I mean that I no longer had romantic feelings for him. I no longer love him and can't remember what it felt like to love him. For a very long time, I was so worried he would come back and try to manipulate or sweet talk me back into a relationship. Only in the past few months did I truly feel that I would be able to resist him. I recently found out he got engaged last May, and I felt a huge sense of relief. He was most likely talking to this woman while he was stringing me along, and I know, for a fact they met while we were still together. NC does work if you give it time. IMO, the 3 month mark is really hard because reality is setting in. That's when you are likely to break it, but it gains power over time if you stick with it. I'm inspired by hearing about your healing process. Yes, you're so right about the three month mark! That's exactly what happens every time. I get this feeling of panic that we may never talk again. That's why I break it every time. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 I used to have a strong attachment to a man who was bad for me. I'm still annoyed that I ever let him into my life, but I now think that he's a moron, and I don't miss him. You can get there, eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
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