DenverDude Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Hi guys/gals, Seems I have gone back into the denial stage of the grieving process. Is this normal? I have read that you can bounce back and forth, but I wanted to reach out to others to see if this has happened to anyone else. It's going on 2 months and I know there is about a .001% chacne of reconciliation, however I am freaking still stuck here, or should I say, I am revisiting the denial stage all over aga in. Grrrrrrr! Link to post Share on other sites
ThreeYearsDumb Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 I think I have revisited the denial stage, or never left. Even after my last encounter where she told me to move on, I still hope for a future for us. Two months would seem about right for a trip back to the denial stage. You've experienced life without her and still haven't been happy so it would be reasonable to go back into the denial stage to cling to some hope. I'm trying not get stuck here myself but I very clearly have hope. I know are situations are different but it seems reasonable that we would regress to the denial stage as it is easier to hope for a reconciliation than have hope in a future without them. I will be curious to see what others have experienced in regression. Stay strong and keep working towards that forgiveness and acceptance of yourself. I've spent the day trying to work get myself to declare once and for all I am moving. I knew for me, I won't get to the other side until I truly want to. Link to post Share on other sites
ThreeYearsDumb Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 I also think I'm still in the denial stage because I'm scared of more pain. I've hurt so badly that anymore depression might be too much. I know I need to feel it and embrace it to get through it, but on days like today I just don't think I can hurt anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Yes, going back and forth with the different stages is common. I visited the denial stage quite a few times in months 2-4 after the break up. Don't worry, it is natural and no one goes through these things the same way, so there is no blue print to follow. Just let yourself go through it and don't fight it or worry about where you're at at this point and you'll come out of this just fine. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 If it's only been 2 months, denial is totally normal. After a breakup, it seems that most people experience denial in the form of: "This breakup isn't permanent. My ex will see the light, and things will go back to they way they were." I haven't really seen a lot of people denying that the breakup happened. My denial went in stages. For probably a good 4 months, I truly thought he would change his mind because we were still in contact. After I went NC, I still had lingering thoughts that he would show up at my doorstep and declare that he had made a huge mistake. Then, I spent a few months thinking he might change his mind in a year. At some point, I logically realized that he was never coming back, but my heart still hoped at times. After a year of NC, I am thankful he broke up with me and would never be able to have any type of relationship with him (friendship or otherwise). Denial creeps in and out while you are experiencing depression and anger. I know it's tough, but you've got to stay the course. You want so badly NOT to feel the depression and anger, and you feel that getting back with the ex would cure the bad feelings. I think that's how denial stays with you so long. Not in the form of "This never happened" but in the form of "This isn't permanent." Because it is really painful to process the permanence of the breakup. However, it can be done and has been done by nearly everyone at some point in life. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
LostConfused123 Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 I also think I'm still in the denial stage because I'm scared of more pain. I've hurt so badly that anymore depression might be too much. I know I need to feel it and embrace it to get through it, but on days like today I just don't think I can hurt anymore. Not to thread jack . Your words just struck something in me. I feel that way too sometimes. I'm so sorry for your pain. Best of luck in your healing and to everyone else reading this. Link to post Share on other sites
OneConfuzedGuy Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 Hi guys/gals, Seems I have gone back into the denial stage of the grieving process. Is this normal? I have read that you can bounce back and forth, but I wanted to reach out to others to see if this has happened to anyone else. It's going on 2 months and I know there is about a .001% chacne of reconciliation, however I am freaking still stuck here, or should I say, I am revisiting the denial stage all over aga in. Grrrrrrr! You are not the only one man. It seems like I am going back n forth between denial, anger, depression day to day to day. Its weird, i still cant grasp my mind around it and it has been 4 months since the BU. I also feel a bit stuck, I wouldn't feel bad about it as I think its normal. Just try to keep going 1 day at a time n hopefully both of us one day will feel like we are indifferent to the whole situation. Stay strong my brotha Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 I feel you! Talking to other chick's,even a smoking hot,out of my league, girl came back in to play the other night,out of no where..Just feels pointless right now. I'll still hang out with her this week though! Stopped by my friend's bar last night after doing some work and the ex's car was there. I just went home. Actually pissed that she's hanging out at MY places! I refuse to be in the same space as her,especially while drinking. Could go bad,fast! Blah! Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 No, 2 months in is nothin' and reverting back to denial.. totally normal and healthy. I love the denial stage because it's filled with at least some hope. I feel like it's the least painful of all stages, and therefore makes it easier to cope. The anger/depression stages are heartbreakingly painful. Screw acceptance. I just want this damn pain to end and to be back to me but I can't accept that this story is over between us. How? Why? No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Breakups are a B! Link to post Share on other sites
BroknHart Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 I'm at 5 months post BU and in the denial stage. I go in and out of it quite a bit. Sad/depressed, angry, relieved it happened now instead of later, denial, lonely/empty... I go through all stages pretty much everyday. I think 2 months is perfectly normal to be in denial. I think that in months 2 and 3, my denial stages were the strongest. Everything is too recent and there is a lot of hope. Like I said, I'm 5 months in and still cling to hope when all signs point the opposite direction. We must slowly learn to move past it, but as much as it sucks we have to let time do its thing. The more the ex doesn't reach out to us, the more we eventually start losing hope. I hope some crazy scientist/chemist invents a "get over BU" pill ASAP. Link to post Share on other sites
sober and dry Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 I hope some crazy scientist/chemist invents a "get over BU" pill ASAP. Lol I'm a chemist and trust me, all the chemical ways to deal with a breakup are not effective if you don't do it for yourself... Link to post Share on other sites
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