mefisto Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 Its been 4.5 months since the thing happened. In emotional way, i started to feel a little better, but im afraid i wont ever be able to forgive myself completely. People around keep telling me that it wasnt my fault, but i know it was. The memories of my stupid actions still haunt me everyday and spoil my present life. Now i know exactly what i should have done to avoid this terrible outcome and its too late to use this knowledge. How to live after such huge and humiliating failure? Also, i wonder - is it possible to erase your memory? Maybe with some hypnosis or drugs? I find it so terrifying to live further with those memories, they are too painful and obsessive. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 No fault...its done. **** happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Light Breeze Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 Don't know about tips, everyone is different, just a matter of mental strength and positive outlook. What I can tell however, that thinking like that is destructive. We all make mistakes, we're human. What we do, however, in the future will define us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KP-55 Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 Today you wouldn't do the same things/mistakes, right? So it means you learnt from the past. It's time to leave it all behind, and **** it, man, sometimes we hurt people, other times they hurt us. It's all for the best, you wouldn't believe the strenght you can gain. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mefisto Posted December 26, 2014 Author Share Posted December 26, 2014 We all make mistakes, we're human. What we do, however, in the future will define us. Thats what im afraid of. This thing can define my future. I will avoid most of the opportunities in life to avoid getting hurt again. Its possible that i wont ever meet new girl because of that behavior. If something good would happen to me, i wont be able to feel joy from it, because the memories would spoil any positive impression or experience. And if something bad would happen, i would be more wounded, because memories made me more vulnerable. Thats how one situation can ruin whole life. Im trying to stop this effect from happening, but it feels like it already did happened. I ruined the best thing that ever i had and probably ruined my future. How to not hate yourself after something like that? Today you wouldn't do the same things/mistakes, right? So it means you learnt from the past. It's time to leave it all behind, and **** it, man, sometimes we hurt people, other times they hurt us. It's all for the best, you wouldn't believe the strenght you can gain. The lesson is meaningless, because most definitely i wont find myself in this kind of situation again. And what kind of strength you are talking about? I never felt so weak as i feel now. Link to post Share on other sites
OneConfuzedGuy Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 Its been 4.5 months since the thing happened. In emotional way, i started to feel a little better, but im afraid i wont ever be able to forgive myself completely. People around keep telling me that it wasnt my fault, but i know it was. The memories of my stupid actions still haunt me everyday and spoil my present life. Now i know exactly what i should have done to avoid this terrible outcome and its too late to use this knowledge. How to live after such huge and humiliating failure? Also, i wonder - is it possible to erase your memory? Maybe with some hypnosis or drugs? I find it so terrifying to live further with those memories, they are too painful and obsessive. Man, I can relate to how your feeling. Sometimes I think it was all my fault too. Sometimes I dont know how I can live with myself for making mistakes and acting the way I did sometimes. But I do realize its not all my fault, but I do see how I contributed. I dont know how I am going to get over it but I know I will. Like other people have said, you cant go back n change the past so you can only work on the future. I think me n you both, along with other people have learned through our experiences and will come out better for it. I know its hard to see right now, even for me im only 4 months post BU. Stay positive 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KP-55 Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 (edited) The lesson is meaningless, because most definitely i wont find myself in this kind of situation again. And what kind of strength you are talking about? I never felt so weak as i feel now. I wish you don't find yourself in that situation, but you never know. I'm talking about the strength you gain when you rise after hitting rock bottom and you grow a pair of balls and stop complaining and whining about the past. I don't know what exactly happened to you because you opened many threads but I guess you are referring to your ex-girlfriend cheating with your former friend. If so, **** them, they deserve each other and their relationship will crash and burn in time. Nothing coming from that situation was your fault. If you keep thinking this way: If something good would happen to me, i wont be able to feel joy from it, because the memories would spoil any positive impression or experience. And if something bad would happen, i would be more wounded, because memories made me more vulnerable. Thats how one situation can ruin whole life. Im trying to stop this effect from happening, but it feels like it already did happened. I ruined the best thing that ever i had and probably ruined my future. How to not hate yourself after something like that? then you will be stuck forever, missing any chance of happiness along the road and it will be just your fault. You can't face life with that victimisation and dramatism, because then your life will suck. Change that mindset, I know it takes time and it's hard so don't rush it, take it easy but be firm about it. And, please, stop acting as a martyr. Nobody finds that attractive. Edited December 26, 2014 by KP-55 Link to post Share on other sites
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