starsandsky Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 (edited) Over a year after I last posted here, (I had broken up from a relationship with a man who was partying all night with his single friends and acting like he was a single man with other women; this was a relationship with a man to who I lost a baby and it was a relationship which I had started when he was chasing me for two years and occurred several traumatic years after going through an awful divorce from my ex husband who stole money from me and divorced me with no warning signs it was coming) I lost myself for a while and my life pretty much spiralled out of control. I lost my main contract at work and my business folded, I was broke and life was very very hard. I found that I had to really give myself a boot up the backside and take responsibility for the direction in which my life was heading. I felt incredibly sorry for myself and hopeless but I read up on so much and tried to get as much advice as possible because I was feeling like utter cr@p and really felt like I did not have a hope in hell of getting my life together again. Whoever is in a similar situation with heart break and money worries, please don't think that your life is over. There are many many things you can do and so much free (and good) advice and help out there for you to just reach out and grab with both hands! The situation now is that my last w is begging me to come back (surprisingly) and I have the sines my self worth, I'm also working on my sorting my work out and steadily finding my way to becoming more stable in my new career. Here's what I found helped: 1) I needed some stability in my life, at least one little part of my day every day which I could have something to look forward to and that gives me the strength to carry on - I found that in a regular exercise and running programme I created for myself - it was free and it helped me start thinking that I was 'taking care of myself' even if someone else didn't care about me, at least I was looking after myself and my wellbeing. It helped me get a starting point for a daily routine which also helped to them keep my mind off the breakup and what my ex was possibly doing after the breakup. 2) YouTube videos and web advice about relationships and breakups - a lot of the stuff out there was not good - some stuff was in fact really damaging to someone like me who was in a fragile emotional state. I did however find that this guy's advice was straight in point sensible, helpful and some of his words often made me laugh (a good thing when you're in a depressed state): ) 3) get at least one person who you can vent to without them being someone who feels the need to give constructive advice - this could be a friend or relative or a professional counsellor - I found this absolutely invaluable in helping me get it all out of my system and enabled me to move on. If you can't find someone, write down everything you want to say and get off your chest . It will help lighten the load off of your mind even if it's a temporary relief. Slowly but surely you will get sick of talking about (or writing) your ex and the breakup. 4) do something (even if it's a small action) to take care of your future every single day. - this always helped me to look forward to 'tomorrow' even if I felt today was hopeless and a disaster. It kept me optimistic and slowly, I could see small signs of results from the seeds of sown by taking the small actions to sort my life out, whether my ex wanted to join me in that life or not. I hope this helps everyone, it's just the main things that have helped me so far, but if anyone else has found something that has helped them then is live to know so I can start using their tips too? Edited December 22, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author starsandsky Posted December 22, 2014 Author Share Posted December 22, 2014 I'm sorry to everyone for all of the spelling mistakes in my above post, I had no idea there were so many until just now! I was typing from my mobile phone in a rush and have only just noticed them, (I don't write as badly as that usually!). I can't seem to edit my original post. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 We tend to find ourselves again post break up. It's a matter of taking the time to get to know yourself all over again. Link to post Share on other sites
tampa1213 Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 i agree with your talking or writing everything down. when i find that my friends are getting tired of listening to me vent about my ex. i feel like writing down actually makes me feel better. it is for a short time so i always find my self writing a few time as the day goes by. but i found it easier and better for my mind because when i wasn't writing i feel like all my thoughts on the break up were eating me on the inside. so i literally downloaded a journal app on my phone so if i'm away and i don't have paper i can write there, on my computer i created a private journal folder where i will write. i also have a notebook in my car so if i'm somewhere private and i can sit down i will write and it makes me feel 10x better. Link to post Share on other sites
Lightmetoday Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 i agree with your talking or writing everything down. when i find that my friends are getting tired of listening to me vent about my ex. i feel like writing down actually makes me feel better. it is for a short time so i always find my self writing a few time as the day goes by. but i found it easier and better for my mind because when i wasn't writing i feel like all my thoughts on the break up were eating me on the inside. so i literally downloaded a journal app on my phone so if i'm away and i don't have paper i can write there, on my computer i created a private journal folder where i will write. i also have a notebook in my car so if i'm somewhere private and i can sit down i will write and it makes me feel 10x better. Correct ! Its great to write . Sometime you dont need advice , you just need to lighten the burden , If i share my sadness with someone then i sometime feel insecure because i care a lot what other people think about me . Which app did you download for mobile phone? Link to post Share on other sites
batt Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 Wow Starsandsky!!! I was just watching a video from him not even an hour ago!!! I just stumbled upon it. How awesome is that lol Link to post Share on other sites
tampa1213 Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 Correct ! Its great to write . Sometime you dont need advice , you just need to lighten the burden , If i share my sadness with someone then i sometime feel insecure because i care a lot what other people think about me . Which app did you download for mobile phone? i personally have an iPhone and the app might sounds corny haha but it's called "secret diary" i just love it because i have it hidden in a certain folder with some of my other apps and i can put a number lock on it and it allows me to write when i'm feeling to emotional and i just feel like my brain is going in circles. the app does the job. Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 We tend to find ourselves again post break up. It's a matter of taking the time to get to know yourself all over again. This. I found myself from a breakup pain, but I still tend to loose grip when the same lost people who drove me overboard (except my ex ) try and lecture me all over again. Link to post Share on other sites
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